Royals-Rangers: the fate of tens of fans in Oklahoma hangs in the balance. After this weekend, life in Vinita, Enid and Tulsa may never be the same.
As pointed out on Royals Review today, Jamey Wright is the owner of is the owner of 1496 <s>anonymous</s> shameful innings, whoring himself around the big leagues like a painted lady cruising a truck stop.
Mr. Wright, have you no sense of decency?
Our sacrosanct national innocence was barely breathing after Sammy, Mac and Baroid (I'm clever, huh?) spent a decade beating it down with their unique dabbling with steroids. But luckily, since no one else took any and because it was so plausible to listen to Selig's assertion that no one knew anything and it was all on the players, our moral purity was still intact. Better yet, we're able to remind ourselves of our own superiority as we note the fact that 99% of all Americans still work for one company their entire life, marry once and never divorce, sincerely love and financially support their children steadfastly and always get their hair cut with the same barber on the same day of the week, year after year.
Then Jamey Wright returned to Kansas City, wearing a Rangers uniform. Apparently, those four magical games in 2003 with the Royals mean nothing to this mercenary clown who only cares about $$$$$$$, aka Straight Cash Homie. Where did Wright learn his morality? Arod's house of horrors? I have no doubt that the loyal, hard-working, completely altruistic and noble fans here in Kansas City will give Mr. Wright, the biggest traitor since Benedict Bako the "warm" welcome he deserves.
And with that holy rage behind them, the Royals will come alive, claiming northern Oklahoma for themselves. Buddy Bell is a genius, and he knows perfectly how to assemble a lineup, thats why he's never had a losing season, not once. Bottom line, the Royals will win by at least 10 runs tonight, and the massacre at the K will be the lead story on Sportscenter. Brian Bannister will strikeout eleven Rangers minimum and Emil Brown will hit, at worst, three home runs.