Community Fantasies vs. Reality: A Stroll Down Memory Lane (Hitters)
by benmor78 on Oct 22, 2008 12:00 PM CDT
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PrintIt's a testament to the type of season the Rangers had to take a look at the community projections for this year... a list that included Botts, Jennings, and human medical curiosities Brandon McCarthy and Hank Blalock. In a season that seemed like, eventually, the Rangers' marketing department would start naming "wild card fans" as injury replacements in the field, many of the projected starters from the beginning of the season faded to irrelevance as the season wore on.
Mr. Burns' team of ringers from The Simpsons had nothing on the 2007 Rangers.
Hank Blalock
Community: .283/.347/.502, 592 PA
Reality: .287/.338/.508, 281 PA
The numbers are about what the community expected, frankly, in almost half the plate appearances. Not even resident sourpuss DJCahill was that pessimistic about Hammer's injury prospects. What's next for Hank, rickets? The smart money, I think, is on disseminating intravascular coagulopathy (DIC), a type of hemolytic anemia that, in the veterinary industry, they call "Death Is Coming" or "Dead In Cage." I understand that the primary causes are pregnancy and being the Rangers' third baseman. Interestingly, in a small sample size, of course, he slugged .566 and was good for a .903 OPS against lefties this season. He's 0 for infinity vs. hemorraghing vaginitis, though.
Jason Botts
Community: .263/.344/.431, 295 PA
Reality: .158/.304/.395, 46 PA
Poor Jason Botts. Did you know Japanese pizza frequently has sweet corn as a topping? Jason Botts does, poor bastard. I picture Jason Botts wandering forlornly through the streets of Hokkaido, a giant blonde monster, munching on some seasoned cuttlefish crackers and reduced to retrieving objects from high shelves for spare change because even in Japan he's still a crappy baseball player.
Marlon Byrd
Community: .287/.325/.402, 385 PA
Reality: .298/.380/.462, 462 PA
Well, he's no Matt Murton. Marlon had a terrible start to the season, of course, and a fairly pedestrian first half. He had an absolute scorcher of an August, though. I think he's going to be a free agent after 2009, so I'm sure the Angels will want to add him to their stable. A team can never have enough 30-something year old centerfielders
Milton Bradley
Community: .287/.375/.485, 430 PA
Reality: .321/.436/.563, 509 PA
Milton Bradley is the shiznit. I don't care if Bradley suddenly turned into Charles Haley, I'd want him to play on my team. Having a season like this from a Ranger DH was simply something to behold. Remember Richard Hidalgo? Remember Brad Fulmer? Oh, well, he's likely gone in 2009, but at least we have the beautiful memories.
Frankie the Cat
Community: .285/.356/.432, 381 PA
Reality: .274/.342/.399, 278 PA
Frankie doesn't really have a place on this team anymore, but at least he's a good sport about it. I figure Frankie is Matt Stairs without the gut or power.
Josh Hamilton
Community: .301/.381/.566, 504 PA
Reality: .304/.371/.530, 704 PA
Wow, I hadn't realized that the community had been so bullish on Josh. The standard deviation wasn't that large, either. My favorite Josh moment... the homer off Putz. And Jeff Sullivan whining about it.
Ian Kinsler
Community: .283/.364/.467, 618 PA
Reality: .319/.375/.517, 583
Damn you, sports hernia. Damn you straight to hell. Ian smashed the community projections pretty good. Of course, if Jamey Newberg has his way, Kinsler, Chris Davis, Holland, Salty, and Hank Blalock's superfluous rib will all go to Kansas City in exchange for Zack Greinke. After all, our coaching staff has done such a wonderful job with arm angles, I'd love to see what they can do with social anxiety disorder. The other thing I found kind of interesting was that Kinsler was able to quite dramatically reverse his platoon splits this year.
Gerald Laird
Community: .253/.311/.392, 344 PA
Reality: .276/.329/.398, 381 PA
Gerald Laird went ahead and had a decent season for himself. Gerald had one of the largest standard deviations in the group, which isn't surprising considering his history. As far as how they handle the catching situation going forward, I just hope they poop or get off the pot... make a decision and not end up with a repeat of Laird's tenure where the player gets jerked around for four seasons.
Michael Young
Community: .312/.363/.443, 701 PA
Reality: .284/.339/.402, 708 PA
Don't worry Michael Young pessimists, he outslugged both Frankie Cat and Jason Botts. And if we can only figure out a way to strategically turn his GIDP's into runs, we may yet get our money's worth from him. Ortonius and grumpass DJCahill get the award for being the most appropriately pessimistic on this one, with honorable mentions going to miles and WhipSmart.
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Grumpass and Sourpuss
It’s good to see that Cahill still gets labeled as the world’s biggest pessimist for being correct.
"Colt mccoy sucks, mack brown needs to be fired." - Longhorn
by LSBUser on Oct 22, 2008 12:12 PM CDT reply actions
"Of course, if Jamey Newberg has his way, Kinsler, Chris Davis, Holland, Salty, and Hank Blalock's superfluous rib will all go to Kansas City in exchange for Zack Greinke."
You forgot us throwing in Sister Maggie and Sister Frances.
Funny stuff, but
no link to the original posts, or mentioning who was closest on a given projection?
G G G E-flat_______ F F F D__________....
I see its up to
Ben’s usual standards of half-assery
"Oh well, McCain is pretty communist anyway,... we can be 70% communist with McCain,"-Sharky
http://www.lonestarball.com/2008/5/20/523600/community-projections-summ
http://www.lonestarball.com/2008/3/31/388161/community-projections-catc
"Oh well, McCain is pretty communist anyway,... we can be 70% communist with McCain,"-Sharky
Hilarious as always
I love reading this stuff.
"You got a guy coming up there who can’t hit water if he fell out of a boat." - Tom Grieve on Richie Sexson, 5.8.2008
"I’ve been a Rangers fan all my life and I can tell you there’s been plenty of fucking crying in baseball…" - WhipSmart, 6.3.08
"When it comes to Jeff Mathis, the story ends with us putting one in his earhole." - AJM, 7.7.08
hahaha that's pretty funny stuff!
not quite as funny as the infamous 2 tissue comment but close!
Poor Bottsy – they’re putting sweet corn on his pizza over there?
Maybe they thought he was the jolly green giant. BAAAAbe Ruth’s stock has plummeted!!
Steal Home R.I.P. 9/10/08
Well
I had never read that information about Charles Haley, so that alone made reading this post worth it.
Ditto.
Absolutely frightening.
The 40 Trumps All!!!
by thedirkatron on Oct 22, 2008 1:40 PM CDT up reply actions
A local media guy
told me once that Haley used to waggle his wiener at women reporters in the lockerroom while loudly accusing them of surreptitiously ogling him. Extreme awkwardness would then ensue, along with consensual disgust for Haley.
Conversely
A friend of mine has a daughter that used to go to the same preschool as Haley’s daughter. Haley’s kid had a birthday party and they invited all the kids from school. My friend told me that Haley couldn’t have been nicer and a great time was had by all. A couple of other Cowboys even stopped by.
"Colt mccoy sucks, mack brown needs to be fired." - Longhorn
by LSBUser on Oct 22, 2008 1:51 PM CDT up reply actions
well yehhhhh he is bi-polar
Mr. Rogers one minute and Hannibal Lecter the next.. I think the meds. have gotten a lot better over the years. I have a friend who takes em and apparently they just make him a little tired and sluggish but keep things in check for the most part.
Steal Home R.I.P. 9/10/08
Fwiw, her name is Princess, IIRC.
Meaning of life? The aggregate collection of moments that you allow to enter into your consciousness, imo, fwiw, etc. (etc.)
by inactive lsb user on Oct 22, 2008 3:15 PM CDT up reply actions
Charles Haley
every bit as instrumental in the success of the great Cowboy teams as any of the triplets. Until the back problems, the man was an absolute disruptive force. I don’t know if it was because the offense was scared he’d whip it out and blow a load in their face, but whatever works.
"Oh well, McCain is pretty communist anyway,... we can be 70% communist with McCain,"-Sharky
And...
given the descriptive reported size of Haley’s endowment, the back problems were probably inevitable.
by ghostofErikThompson on Oct 22, 2008 5:11 PM CDT up reply actions
Ugh.
I thought we were done with this kind of shit.
by brettgardner on Oct 22, 2008 1:29 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
I was looking forward to this comment...
all morning.
by ghostofErikThompson on Oct 22, 2008 5:10 PM CDT up reply actions
+1
Meaning of life? The aggregate collection of moments that you allow to enter into your consciousness, imo, fwiw, etc. (etc.)
by inactive lsb user on Oct 22, 2008 6:52 PM CDT up reply actions
Amazing now...
…to think that we underestimated Bradley’s awesomeness, and somehow OVERestimated Hamilton’s.
"One man, five scoops." -- shroomer
Ben
I’m going to have come back and read all this later and check the links. Not a very good time for this considering the World Series. You might should have waited till the WS was over since LSB fanpost and everthing else tends to get buried over a three day period
Looks good though.
Oh I did click on the Mr. Burns’ team of ringers.. from The Simpsons.
A Texas Designer's Map of the World
To continue the pizza discussion
A Pizza Hut just moved in a few blocks away from our apartment here in China. I’m excited because they have the “American Style” pizza which is simply pepperoni. The other options you ask?
Seafood: includes crab, squid, fish with veggies such as corn and broccoli
Pork: covered in BBQ pork rib meat with something that looks like bean sprouts for a veggie.
Veggie: includes corn, broccoli, spinach leaves and lotus root (which is super crunchy)
They have some interesting appetizers too, such as (literal name) Oyster and Pig Kebabs. Another one that actually looks like it might be worth trying are little cherry tomatoes rapped in bacon…my only fear is that the bacon in the picture doesn’t look cooked. That’s not too uncommon though, as restaurants regularly show pictures of precooked meat for you to select from.
But hey, I’m happy because I can get my family a real pepperoni pizza (not beef pepperoni like most of the Chinese pizza places).
Rangeressary
"the poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese." - G.K. Chesterton
rangeressary
I know you and remember you. Hope you are doing well. I didn’t know you were in China. Wow. Call me spaceman, sometimes I do forget… cause I seriously didn’t know you were in China.
A Texas Designer's Map of the World
by hurlerhurley on Oct 24, 2008 11:45 PM CDT up reply actions
essary
never forgot about you. Just hadn’t heard much about you lately.
Wow just Wow. We love you buddy … you take care of yourself over there
A Texas Designer's Map of the World
by hurlerhurley on Oct 24, 2008 11:54 PM CDT up reply actions
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