ESPN Classic sucks
by Adam J. Morris on Nov 7, 2008 4:25 PM CST
31 comments
So I'm reading today's Bill Simmons column, and this jumps out at me:
In fact, if I joined a fantasy draft for channels in which my three friends and I split up all the channels and could watch only the ones we drafted, here would be my top-16 wish list heading into the draft: ESPN, Fox, TNT, ABC, NBC, CBS, NBA-TV, NFL Network, CNN, MTV, Comedy Central, ESPNEWS, Showtime, VH1, AMC and HBO, which narrowly edged Starz and the National Geographic HD Channel (owner of my favorite new show of 2008, "Critical Situation"). I guess I have three points:
* * *
2. ESPN Classic not making the cut: the greatest idea that should have worked and hasn't yet.
Yes, Simmons is right. ESPN Classic is a great idea. But it sucks right now. And he sort of leaves it hanging out there, so a reader might think, no one knows why it isn't working, or maybe there are problems behind the scenes that make it unworkable.
But that's crap. I would wager Simmons even knows why ESPN Classic sucks right now, but because The World Wide Leader signs his paychecks, he can't say it.
But it is obvious.
ESPN Classic doesn't show classic sports.
It shows crap. It shows billiard, and poker reruns, and old American Gladiators, and rodeos.
In fact, they should change the name of the channel to ESPNCrap. Or ESPN Retro (because in the 80s, before they picked up broadcasting rights to mainstream sports and had all those talking heads shows, they used to show a lot of rodeo and lacrosse and stuff like that).
What is the point of having a channel devoted to classic sporting events if you are going to show reruns of the World Series of Poker and bull riding? Who gives a damn about that?
And you know why I know about this? Because periodically I'll be at home, channel-surfing, and I'll think, maybe there's something good on ESPN Classic. An NBA game from the 80s, an NFL game from the 70s, a random baseball playoff game, Sugar Ray Robinson or Jake LaMotta or Smokin' Joe Frazier boxing. Maybe some old school helmetless hockey, or something.
And I scroll over there, and you know what I find?
American Gladiators. That's not even a sport.
Although I want to make it clear that Strongman competitions are sports, and having them on ESPN Classic is a good thing. In fact, I would be in favor of having a channel devoted to just old Strongman competitions. Or at least, devote a significant portion of the programming to it.
I'm at home right now. I had a hearing this afternoon, got done with it, and popped home early. So I'm going to flip to ESPN Classic, and I bet it is poker or something.
Well, it is actually the USC/Cal football game from 2003. That sort of screws up my point.
But that's not what is usually on.
ESPN is a bunch of morons. They need to show old sporting events on ESPN Classic, not the crap they are currently showing on there all the time.
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You're telling me
you don’t enjoy Stump the Schwab? Greatest show on earth.
Fire Todd Dodge. Seriously. But in the mean time, SUCK IT WESTERN KENTUCKY! 1-8 baby!
by sprite on Nov 7, 2008 4:32 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Wow.
I completely agree.
It’s been forever since I even checked what was on ESPN Classic.
Nice rant, AJM.
The 40 Trumps All!!!
Rule 5? No…talk to the hand.
by thedirkatron on Nov 7, 2008 4:32 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Live
They even have live Nascar bullshit on sometimes.
by tyd3311 on Nov 7, 2008 4:35 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
wow
… WAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY too much time… lol
by texaschief on Nov 7, 2008 4:36 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
espn classic
only time they ever air anything worth watching is when someone dies.
i nearly filled my dvr when reggie white died because of all the awesomeness they aired.
"I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it." - Mitch Hedberg
by rentz on Nov 7, 2008 4:40 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
He was so freaking good at football.
The 40 Trumps All!!!
Rule 5? No…talk to the hand.
by thedirkatron on Nov 7, 2008 8:07 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
ESPN Classic
They do use the channel to air UEFA Champions League matches on tape delay, which I watch, but if you’re not a hardcore soccer fan like me, ESPN Classic definitely sucks.
"I dont care to debate with a troll." - Sharky
by RCCook on Nov 7, 2008 4:43 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
champions league
and they dont even air it in HD!!
"I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it." - Mitch Hedberg
by rentz on Nov 7, 2008 4:47 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
If you believe internet rumors
ESPN is looking to buy Premiership rights (that part is not a rumor) after this season (or buy Setanta ) and then possibly convert espn classic into espn world or something like that.
www.mavsmoneyball.com
by Wes Cox on Nov 7, 2008 5:02 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
ESPN
That’s what I’ve been hearing as well.
Since I only have cable, I only get the games on ESPN and Fox Soccer Channel.
I’m not sure about other clubs, but us Liverpool fans usually meet up for the weekend matches at the Tipperary Inn. There’s a pretty solid core group of 20-25 regulars (including myself and Ted Price, who does the Rangers podcast with Adam and Jamey) though we usually get 50 or more for the big matches.
"I dont care to debate with a troll." - Sharky
by RCCook on Nov 7, 2008 7:00 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
So they'd be showing Premier games on that channel?
Hopefully they make it HD cause I won’t watch sports shit in SD unless it’s something I really, really care about (translation: Your Texas Rangers).
I’ve always wanted to get into that but have never found a good avenue.
Hopefully it comes to pass.
The 40 Trumps All!!!
Rule 5? No…talk to the hand.
by thedirkatron on Nov 7, 2008 8:11 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
yeah
ive tried watching some games recently and they are all in sd, and its awful sd at that horribly blurry.
"I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it." - Mitch Hedberg
by rentz on Nov 7, 2008 8:20 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I'm such an HD snob.
The 40 Trumps All!!!
Rule 5? No…talk to the hand.
by thedirkatron on Nov 7, 2008 9:12 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
+1
I'm undefeated in fights. Have I been in any? No. Thats because people know my f'ing status. Don't mess with the elite. - Miles
by Dirk Diggler on Nov 7, 2008 9:14 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
You're just a snob in general
"He’s basically told himself unconsciously that he can’t be any good unless he catches 130 games a year. If he played with the baseball smarts of a guy like a David Eckstein, he’d maximize his talent and be an incredible player." - Andy Seiler, Texas Rangers Analyst
by Chase Irwin on Nov 8, 2008 10:48 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
once you go HD you never go back.
"I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it." - Mitch Hedberg
by rentz on Nov 8, 2008 11:02 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Only good thing
I ever saw on ESPN Classic was their classic boxing matches. Used to come on at 7 CST. I would catch an old Holyfield fight from time to time. But I haven’t had that channel for about a year. But the rest of it sucks.
I am the motherfucking shore patrol, motherfucker! I am the motherfucking shore patrol! Give this man a beer.
by TheBZA on Nov 7, 2008 4:47 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
This just in...
MTV doesn’t actually play music either.
"The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance."-Socrates
by slc ranger on Nov 7, 2008 5:07 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
your words of iron sting, sir... :p
as someone who used to rodeo, i don’t like to watch them from years past. i can understand why most people would not like to watch as well. but if i can’t make it to vegas in december (which has been a while), i will watch them on the deuce or classic. but their programming, in general, sucks butt mud.
I’d sub-out that MTV reference, though, and insert the History Channel, or one of the movie channels/nba-tv, for cartoon network..
giggety
by hotshot215 on Nov 7, 2008 5:08 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
They used to show
those old homerun derbys when it was a 1 on 1 competition. Seeing Mickey Mantle and Ted Williams and some of the sluggers of old was awesome.
by noccolo on Nov 7, 2008 5:22 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
ESPN Classic use to be awesome.
When it was brand new it was EPIC. I saw so much greatness. During the World Series they would play old World Series games. During the All Star break they’d show old All Star games. During the weeks before the Super Bowl, they’d play all sorts of Super Bowl shows and full games. During college basketball season they’d play all sorts of old college basketball games.
Now it’s, like, almost entirely World Series of Poker stuff. Do people really care about that crap that much?!
Also, the NFL Network is the same. While it’s a great chanel to have during the season, they don’t have enough programming. Which is stupid because they have THE ENTIRE NFL FILMS LIBRARY AT THEIR DISPOSAL! If, when there wasn’t anything else scheduled, they’d just show old NFL Films shows and full games, I would only change the chanel on Thursdays for the Office and 30 Rock. No one wants to watch 12 straight hours of reairs of the same Inside the NFL show.
by philkid3 on Nov 7, 2008 6:11 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Although
It’s on for games I want to see, my television set is normally off. Point is, I’d rather see reruns of shows I’ve missed due to being overly occupied for lots of years, such as 24 or one of the CSI’s or Cold Case files, or even well worn specials on NatGeo or ??
I can’t recall seeing anything on ESPN Classic. And it isn’t like it wasn’t in the rota when I surfed past.
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
by Ed Coffin on Nov 7, 2008 6:19 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Here's the thing
There’s no rhyme or reason to their programming. Once I caught the Thrilla in Manilla and another time I saw Nolan’s 7th no hitter (awesome – I was half hour late to meet people and didn’t give a damn).
They need to organize their stuff. Have different evenings for differents sports – MLB, boxing, NFL, NBA, college FB, college BB – all designated for different nights. That way you actually have an idea of what might be on.
Nothing pithy here. Please move long.
by WyoRanger on Nov 7, 2008 6:38 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Totally agreed.
I, too, have had this very same thing happen to me. You would think, with all the over-marketing ESPN does for their own crap, they could work in a “this week on ESPN Classic: 80s NBA games!” promo or something.
I have never understood why Classic doesn’t do regular season build-ups by showing old football, basketball, baseball, and hockey games. Even though I’m not a huge football fan anymore, I still love watching old games, and older NBA games just kick so much ass. I also got into baseball in the late 90s, and would just kill to see older games or home run derbies.
This is also a good time to bring up another great Simmons idea: the VP of Common Sense. Not just for sports franchises anymore.
by jwiscarson on Nov 7, 2008 8:02 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Fixed
ESPNClassicsucks.
Just say no to Scott Olsen.
by lonestarJon on Nov 7, 2008 8:13 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Winner.
"He’s basically told himself unconsciously that he can’t be any good unless he catches 130 games a year. If he played with the baseball smarts of a guy like a David Eckstein, he’d maximize his talent and be an incredible player." - Andy Seiler, Texas Rangers Analyst
by Chase Irwin on Nov 8, 2008 10:48 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Wait a minute...
why would it be that hard to take any old retro game involving a sport that people care about and broadcast it (could be some obscure double-OT NBA game from the 70s or a baseball game that ended on a walk-off grand slam or whatever).
Is it because they don’t have that sort of stuff available? Or is ESPN just moronic?
by jonthefon on Nov 7, 2008 9:14 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
They may not have the stuff available.
But even if they don’t, ESPN is also moronic.
by philkid3 on Nov 7, 2008 11:27 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
strongman
Yes. Strongman rocks. I don’t know what’s more awesome, watching the unnatural giants do odd feats of strength or making fun of Brent Musberger in his Anchorman glory days.
BTW, I would add Outdoor Games, where they have those dogs leaping off docks.
Go Rangers!
by rooster on Nov 7, 2008 9:23 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Definitely mildly entertaining
if you’re nearing black-out and looking for images to cross the screen at 4 AM.
"He’s basically told himself unconsciously that he can’t be any good unless he catches 130 games a year. If he played with the baseball smarts of a guy like a David Eckstein, he’d maximize his talent and be an incredible player." - Andy Seiler, Texas Rangers Analyst
by Chase Irwin on Nov 8, 2008 10:48 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
completely agree...
ive thought this forever adam and completely agree, it’s the most underutilized channel on tv. i dont get why they dont have marathons of sports at least once a week or a day dedicated to a certain sport.
also i hate how they cut out the games, if a game is 2 and a half hours well damnit i dont want to miss a play and just see the important stuff. why cant i see the entire game instead of a condensed 2 hour version? and on the rare occasion they show baseball it’s even worse, normally it’s just 1 hour.
they rarely show anything outside of nfl films NFL wise, pretty sure they dont have access to nfl games, but they have everything basketball pro and college and college football.
nice to see others agree with us
by studcrackers on Nov 8, 2008 11:16 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
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