"No, Seriously, Next Year! We Swear!" the Rangers '09 Theme

by NothinG on Dec 17, 2008 12:21 PM CST Comment 73 comments

good job, ghtd36 and all the rest that provided themes. they were excellent.

As we continue to wait on any baseball news, hopefully good news on the Rangers front, maybe we'll get a new set of Sheets for Christmas, here are the results and final runoff for the top 3 based on the votes.

There were a ton of great lines, but as these 3 all were tied for first, we'll have a runoff vote between them. You've outdone yourselves in this time void of baseball

Also, hilarious mention has to go to
"You can't hit Tom Hicks with your shoes from home.".

2nd tier honorable mention, as voted on, goes to:

"Your 2009 Texas Rangers...they're still shitty"
"You could use some mediocrity!!"
"Millwood, Padilla: The Farewell Tour"

If you want to make a case for another theme, go ahead.

Poll

Which is the best suggested theme for the upcoming Rangers '09 season? Final 3 Runoff

"No one obsesses over the Rangers"

23 votes

"No, Seriously, Next Year! We Swear!"

57 votes

"Hey! At least we aren't the Mariners!"

29 votes

109 votes | Poll has closed

0 recs | Comment 73 comments

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Comments

"No, Seriously, Next Year! We Swear!"

"Please. What the hell do you know about starting a sports-related website and then deciding to leave it to work on other things and then? How dare you, sir." -- Michael Schur, aka FireJoeMorgan's Ken Tremendous, to Will Leitch

by ghtd36 on Dec 17, 2008 12:26 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

I could live with that...

…“No one obsesses over the Rangers” really doesn’t fit – otherwise, what’re we doin’ here?

If at first you don't succeed, try the outfield! -- Ed

by eglooney on Dec 19, 2008 11:26 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

That's the point

I'm undefeated in fights. Have I been in any? No. Thats because people know my f'ing status. Don't mess with the elite. - Miles

by Dirk Diggler on Dec 19, 2008 11:29 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Speaking of Ben Sheets...

could we potentially fall within budget if we just traded Blalock and his 6 or so million? We already unloaded Laird’s 3 million. What else would have to go to fall within 68 million that was suggested for our payroll? This assuming we could get Sheets to take 10 million or so for the first year with the other 5 million or so of it deferred to other years.

I don’t know why I get excited for a pitcher like Sheets every year…maybe because of Millwood a couple years back which I guess goes to show you even then, it doesn’t all work out like planned.

by slimshadty12 on Dec 17, 2008 12:28 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

This is hilariously out of place.

by oc on Dec 17, 2008 10:02 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Theres actually no where else to place it

nor should I start a diary right?

by slimshadty12 on Dec 18, 2008 4:32 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

no worries

I think the 68 M is a ridiculous number to try and stay within when we aren’t a small market team.

Also, Sheets is in a different class than Millwood. Sheets is an ace

Wait 'til the year after next

by NothinG on Dec 18, 2008 5:01 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

"Is 2011 here yet?!?!?"

"You shouldn't fuck around with windfalls"

LoneStarJon

by LAMuscleFag on Dec 17, 2008 12:29 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

"One Man, Five Tools...Not Here"

I'd love for part of the "new look" to be a return to the red uniforms of the 1990s. - Ian Kinsler

by ortonius on Dec 17, 2008 12:45 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

boo

I’m stil in mourning here

by 1man5tools on Dec 17, 2008 1:36 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

detriots got a blog...

mormons stole me and held me against my will with Oklahoma beer and 12+ hour work days.

by Jayslick on Dec 17, 2008 1:48 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

"We'll almost sign a pitcher you want to see every year"

I'd love for part of the "new look" to be a return to the red uniforms of the 1990s. - Ian Kinsler

by ortonius on Dec 17, 2008 12:46 PM CST reply actions 1 recs

Hilarious.

"Either we need to re-calibrate our rectangle, or Alfonzo Marquez is not having a good night." - Josh Lewin

by utlonghorn24 on Dec 17, 2008 1:02 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

"Why take a couple of Advil, when you could use some baseball?"

“Besides, Advil is gentler on your stomach than aspirin.”

I'd love for part of the "new look" to be a return to the red uniforms of the 1990s. - Ian Kinsler

by ortonius on Dec 17, 2008 12:47 PM CST reply actions 1 recs

"Even Oldsham Foundation Repair couldn't fix this..."

“You could use some baseball”

I'd love for part of the "new look" to be a return to the red uniforms of the 1990s. - Ian Kinsler

by ortonius on Dec 17, 2008 12:48 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Or even Olshan

LoneStarBall....You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

by DaheelzCM on Dec 17, 2008 1:37 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

"What is the difference between AIG and the Rangers?"

“Stock in the Rangers might actually be higher…You could use some baseball!”

I'd love for part of the "new look" to be a return to the red uniforms of the 1990s. - Ian Kinsler

by ortonius on Dec 17, 2008 12:51 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

"Your 2009 Texas Rangers...they're still shitty"

"The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance."-Socrates

by slc ranger on Dec 17, 2008 12:51 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

"Your Texas Rangers Have the #1 Farm System in Baseball!"

“You could use some baseball…but you may have to go to Frisco, Bakersfield, Hickory or Spokane to see it.”

I'd love for part of the "new look" to be a return to the red uniforms of the 1990s. - Ian Kinsler

by ortonius on Dec 17, 2008 12:55 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

"Snow Monkey Problems? You could use some baseball"

I'd love for part of the "new look" to be a return to the red uniforms of the 1990s. - Ian Kinsler

by ortonius on Dec 17, 2008 12:56 PM CST reply actions 1 recs

"Dusty Nips...enough said...you could use some baseball"

I'd love for part of the "new look" to be a return to the red uniforms of the 1990s. - Ian Kinsler

by ortonius on Dec 17, 2008 12:58 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

"Hellooo, Win Column. It's been awhile, but you look as sexy as ever."

Greatest Inventions Ever? 1. TiVO, 2. Boobs, 3. Baseball

by willamos2 on Dec 17, 2008 1:01 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

"You could use some mediocrity!!"

"You shouldn't fuck around with windfalls"

LoneStarJon

by LAMuscleFag on Dec 17, 2008 1:05 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

"Hey World of Warcraft Players...Josh Hamilton is a level 70 Warrior with l33t power!"

“You could use some baseball”

I'd love for part of the "new look" to be a return to the red uniforms of the 1990s. - Ian Kinsler

by ortonius on Dec 17, 2008 1:06 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

"S-A-L-T-A-L-A-M-A-C-C-H-I-A...Yep, you could use some baseball"

I'd love for part of the "new look" to be a return to the red uniforms of the 1990s. - Ian Kinsler

by ortonius on Dec 17, 2008 1:08 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Hey! At least we aren't the Mariners!

by TRanger on Dec 17, 2008 1:12 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

"Because buying a new flashy scoreboard to display brighter ads constitutes spending money on the team right?"

by baylor on Dec 17, 2008 1:22 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Ortonius' motto

“If you won’t post in this thread I will!”

G G G E-flat_______ F F F D__________....

by t ball on Dec 17, 2008 1:33 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

:) Yup

I'd love for part of the "new look" to be a return to the red uniforms of the 1990s. - Ian Kinsler

by ortonius on Dec 17, 2008 1:53 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

"Millwood, Padilla: The Farewell Tour"

Greatest Inventions Ever? 1. TiVO, 2. Boobs, 3. Baseball

by willamos2 on Dec 17, 2008 1:35 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Texas Rangers - where coaches and execs get fired

…then rehired as consultants.

Don't believe the hype about sloppy seconds. They ain't bad.

by tricer on Dec 17, 2008 1:35 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

"Come and watch or else Nolan Ryan will punch you in the face"

(include pic of Ryan/Ventura skirmish)

Greatest Inventions Ever? 1. TiVO, 2. Boobs, 3. Baseball

by willamos2 on Dec 17, 2008 1:36 PM CST reply actions 1 recs

"Jesus was a Rangers fan...we are sacrificing ourselves for other teams."

Greatest Inventions Ever? 1. TiVO, 2. Boobs, 3. Baseball

by willamos2 on Dec 17, 2008 1:39 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

lol

ok i’ll add this

Wait 'til the year after next

by NothinG on Dec 17, 2008 1:39 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

"Sick of TO? Come check us out."

Greatest Inventions Ever? 1. TiVO, 2. Boobs, 3. Baseball

by willamos2 on Dec 17, 2008 1:42 PM CST reply actions 1 recs

"Now playing in the shadow of the Cowboys (both literally and figuratively)"

Greatest Inventions Ever? 1. TiVO, 2. Boobs, 3. Baseball

by willamos2 on Dec 17, 2008 1:42 PM CST reply actions 1 recs

I am torn between

“No one obsesses over the Rangers” and “Millwood, Padilla: The Farewell Tour”…

But chose the later because no one obsesses over the Rangers…

by laxtonto on Dec 17, 2008 1:46 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

no one obssessesss

Scout: He was a first-round pick right? Got a huge bonus?
KG: Oh yeah.
Scout: Well, he spent a lot of it on milkshakes.

by knockoutking on Dec 17, 2008 3:11 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

"Are you a Red Sox or Yankee fan? We play them and you can afford our tickets!"

Nothing pithy here. Please move long.

by WyoRanger on Dec 17, 2008 1:47 PM CST reply actions 1 recs

good one!

Don't believe the hype about sloppy seconds. They ain't bad.

by tricer on Dec 17, 2008 1:50 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

"No, Seriously, Next Year! We Swear!"

So much truth…

"Sooner or later, prospects kill you, because you hang onto them." - Greggo, 11/22/2005

by Agreen07 on Dec 17, 2008 2:13 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Come see career journeymen become integral free agents!

Gerald Laird: One Man, 5 Scoops.

by Maximilian on Dec 17, 2008 2:14 PM CST reply actions 1 recs

"Ben and Jerry aren't coming back! We promise!"

"You shouldn't fuck around with windfalls"

LoneStarJon

by LAMuscleFag on Dec 17, 2008 2:16 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

The Mariners one is my favorite

By 2028, Mark Teixeira will be in the HOF.
-The Outlaw

by Gdawg on Dec 17, 2008 2:45 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Noob

Every WoW player is 80 now.

Kanye, you want to be the voice of this generation? Get in line! It goes me, Obamagirl, the Freecreditreport.com guys, then It's a tie between you-and Crocs.
-Stephen Colbert

by Conjunction on Dec 17, 2008 2:53 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

so maybe hamilton quit before the litch king expansion lol?

me, never played it but i know some ppl who love it

did just start playing team fortress 2 though

Scout: He was a first-round pick right? Got a huge bonus?
KG: Oh yeah.
Scout: Well, he spent a lot of it on milkshakes.

by knockoutking on Dec 17, 2008 3:12 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

I played WoW for a while...

but the grind was brutal. I’m now a happy content player of Warhammer Online. :)

I'd love for part of the "new look" to be a return to the red uniforms of the 1990s. - Ian Kinsler

by ortonius on Dec 17, 2008 3:17 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

i found myself sitting on hills a bunch and looking at waterfalls and talking to people i didnt know...

and it occurred to me i could do this in real life. so i quit. but i still dont do that in real life.

mormons stole me and held me against my will with Oklahoma beer and 12+ hour work days.

by Jayslick on Dec 18, 2008 1:51 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

This one might be too long for a billboard...

""If you are a dreamer,come in. If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, a hoper, a prayer, a magic-bean-buyer. If you’re a pretender, come sit by my fire, for we have some flax-golden tales to spin. Come in! Come in!"

(quote from Shel Silverstein)

"Dying ain't hard. It's living that's hard."

by Josey Wales on Dec 17, 2008 3:23 PM CST reply actions 1 recs

I'm flatulent

Can I come in?

by shroomer on Dec 17, 2008 4:24 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

rec

mormons stole me and held me against my will with Oklahoma beer and 12+ hour work days.

by Jayslick on Dec 18, 2008 1:53 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

you could use some crickets

complete with audio

by sam in so cal on Dec 17, 2008 4:50 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

How 'bout "You can't hit Tom Hicks with your shoes from home."

"You shouldn't fuck around with windfalls"

LoneStarJon

by LAMuscleFag on Dec 17, 2008 5:36 PM CST reply actions 2 recs

I like it

Nothing pithy here. Please move long.

by WyoRanger on Dec 17, 2008 5:53 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

nice -- honorable mention

Wait 'til the year after next

by NothinG on Dec 17, 2008 6:36 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

best yet

mormons stole me and held me against my will with Oklahoma beer and 12+ hour work days.

by Jayslick on Dec 18, 2008 1:53 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

AROD

sleeps in Chris Davis pajamas……CD sleeps in the nude.

"You’re the worst poster here I think."--- brettgardner

by red shoe ranger on Dec 17, 2008 6:40 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

a few more

Red Sox……what JHam wears on his man piece.
Yankees……what Beasticons eat for breakfast.
Mariners……what you would need to find CD’s homers if TBiA backed up to an ocean.
A’s…………….1st in the Alphabet, last in the division.
Angels……….have to answer to The One above them, The Rangers.

"You’re the worst poster here I think."--- brettgardner

by red shoe ranger on Dec 17, 2008 6:52 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Your 2009 Texas Rangers - failure now comes in red, as well.

"I´d like to apologize in advance for anything that I may say or do that could be construed as offensive as I slowly go NUTS."

by lonestarJon on Dec 17, 2008 7:29 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Come Out and See The Rangers in '09!

The “Footy” players need some new ’jammies.

"...my balls are really like a veiny flesh color" blueballlefty on Jun 4, 2008 7:44 PM EDT
"you gonna lose your horse. seriously." FX2
Yes we can! November 04, 2008

by Rodney on Dec 17, 2008 7:57 PM CST reply actions 0 recs