Ode to Gerald Laird
Ode to Gerald Laird
By ghostofErikThompson
"Gerry, oh, Gerry
Yes, oh yes it is you that I speak of Gerald Laird newly minted Detroit Tiger
Your man is only but one, our Game Day Threads found you merry
Your tools unable to count by Geiger
A Superstar at the plate
A smile loved by possibly a dozen
To be #1 on the depth chart you await
Kevin Mench's mirrored playing time complaints would make us ponder he your cousin
Some called you lumpy, sloth, or average at best
others said "replacement level player"
I called you blessed
your defensive skills were that of a slayer
you could bunt for you position
you could run for your size
your tale mirrored the human condition
I assume with your order you did want some fries
so you know, Mr. Laird, Showalter didn't win
you lasted longer than he, even as you grew that third chin
Number 15
1 man + 5 tools
You once started at third, a pickin' machine!
They gave Salty a shot, he played us for fools
Now you'll be in Detroit living the dream
A fresh start to start
A whole new world of ice cream
finally away from John Hart
We counted you among our troops
We wish you well as you depart
Forever as One man, Five scoops
Gerry, oh, Gerry"
We'll miss you, big fella. For the comedy alone.
(Please forgive my stanza...)
19 recs |
33 comments
Comments
whew...
Detroit is HOTT!!!
Tiger nation is non too happy about this trade so far. Comparisons to Inge and Renteria offensively to go along with his ONE full season of service has the Detroit fan base livid to be trading away one of their very few “top pitching prospects.”
Also, there’s a comment in the fan comments about Gallaraga being a “mirage” because of his “luck.”
by texaschief on Dec 8, 2008 4:45 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
REC
"Somewhere out there, between 14-32 BBWAA NL MVP voters are trying to get cheaper winter heating by drilling a hole in the microwave." - Jeff at LoL
by lonestarJon on Dec 8, 2008 4:47 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
I think this is the proper thread
To retire all those wonderful Laird graphics that are no longer necessary…
P.S. Thanks for everything Gerald.
-- Micah
Baseball Is My Boyfriend
"Football is like having a fling once a week. Baseball is a relationship." - oc
by baseballismyboyfriend on Dec 8, 2008 8:36 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
Already posted it in the first thread, but just one more time...

Stars in a Texas Night Sky, a Dallas Stars blog from a fan's perspective.
by rangers85 on Dec 8, 2008 8:38 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
My sadly unused one once again...

"Somewhere out there, between 14-32 BBWAA NL MVP voters are trying to get cheaper winter heating by drilling a hole in the microwave." - Jeff at LoL
by lonestarJon on Dec 8, 2008 8:48 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Such a shame,
that’s a good one!
"...my balls are really like a veiny flesh color" blueballlefty on Jun 4, 2008 7:44 PM EDT
"you gonna lose your horse. seriously." FX2
Yes we can! November 04, 2008
by Rodney on Dec 8, 2008 9:37 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
One man 5 scoops
I think I found a new sig
rec
"Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds."
by Maximilian on Dec 8, 2008 8:38 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
Hilarious.
Rec.
"Either we need to re-calibrate our rectangle, or Alfonzo Marquez is not having a good night." - Josh Lewin
by utlonghorn24 on Dec 8, 2008 9:26 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
more bad economic news.......
massive layoffs are expected in the Arlington doughnut industry…….
"You’re the worst poster here I think."--- brettgardner
by red shoe ranger on Dec 8, 2008 9:44 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
Ha, I got a pretty good laugh out of this
Rec’d.
You know, if there was one guy who ever seemed to embody the persona of Homer Simpson, it was Gerald Laird. Best of luck to him in Detroit.
by JimBonnick84 on Dec 8, 2008 9:50 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
Hahahaha
nice work there.
This is an exciting time in my life.
The LSB CPP's are in full bloom.
by Chase Irwin on Dec 9, 2008 1:08 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
goET is my muse...
That’s not ghey or anything, is it?
:)
"...my balls are really like a veiny flesh color" blueballlefty on Jun 4, 2008 7:44 PM EDT
"you gonna lose your horse. seriously." FX2
Yes we can! November 04, 2008
by Rodney on Dec 8, 2008 2:39 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
farewell
to perhaps the most unphotogenic player in major league history.
by selppuc on Dec 8, 2008 2:46 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Ha
Not as unphotogenic as Warner Madrigal, though.
"Somewhere out there, between 14-32 BBWAA NL MVP voters are trying to get cheaper winter heating by drilling a hole in the microwave." - Jeff at LoL
by lonestarJon on Dec 8, 2008 10:12 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
+ 1
The fruit bat look was never in.
"The Gerald Laird trade is a GREAT SUCCESS! Who'd we get for him again?"
Tom Hicks
by LAMuscleFag on Dec 8, 2008 10:59 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I liked it very much!
’Forever as One man, Five scoops" ha… nice!
Yes, We’ll miss that Lard ass.
by cowpoke on Dec 8, 2008 11:30 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Deuces
You won’t be missed, snaggletooth. 
This is an exciting time in my life.
The LSB CPP's are in full bloom.
by Chase Irwin on Dec 9, 2008 1:07 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
LOLOLOL
well done sir!
"The Gerald Laird trade is a GREAT SUCCESS! Who'd we get for him again?"
Tom Hicks
by LAMuscleFag on Dec 9, 2008 2:05 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Umm in all seriousness...
Are we just utterly spoiled from having Pudge as a catcher for so many years? When Barajas was here we wanted his head and to replace him with Laird. Once he became the starter we wanted Laird’s head and replace him with Salty. Salty now hasn’t really lived up so far and most of us want Tea (although this isn’t really a huge knock on Salty just high expectations for Tea).
Are we setting some unfair expectations here?
by slimshadty12 on Dec 9, 2008 1:19 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
Yes
unfair expectations is what blog posting is all about. This is the same blog that has large numbers of people dismissing Hurley as a nobody despite a decent debut in the majors at age 22. Why are they poo-pooing him? Because expectations were too high a couple of years ago and many expected him to be a top of the rotation guy instead of the mid-rotation innings eater he is more likely to be.
Too many here think that top prospect means automatic superstar or something. The valuation of Laird on this blog is a perfect picture of a roller coaster ride. The valuation of Salty and Teagarden is already starting that ride, and Max’s 2008 was mostly on the high side, but who knows what barbs we’ll throw at him in 2009 if he doesn’t continue to sport an OPS higher than Jesus.
G G G E-flat_______ F F F D__________....
by t ball on Dec 9, 2008 7:03 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Gagree
I can only imagine the howls that will come when Feliz and Holland inevitably struggle in their first dose of the majors, or (god forbid) they don’t make it. I think unfair expectations are a primal instinct of sports fans though – it’s how you handle the dissapointment that sets you apart, and lord knows I, like many (perhaps most) others here am not very good at it.
"Somewhere out there, between 14-32 BBWAA NL MVP voters are trying to get cheaper winter heating by drilling a hole in the microwave." - Jeff at LoL
by lonestarJon on Dec 9, 2008 7:11 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
There is a lot of bandwagon hatred
that stems from the prospect mentality around here is funny. My favorite was the number of people calling for JD and Wash’s head for not playing Jason “I can’t even hit Japanese pitching” Botts over Sammy “I actually put butts in the seats and can at least hit lefties” Sosa.
Laird got a bit of that because certain people hated Barajas and wanted to see Laird play. Its ironic, since the number one piece of evidence when people called for Buck’s head was his playing Popup over Laird, but once Laird showed that he wasn’t as good as his platoon/backup numbers suggested people turned on him. He turned out to be an average catcher, just like Popup before him. And that angers everyone.
I think there is so much reading of MJH and Jamey that people think that all your prospects are going to be superstars. This is balanced by a record of spectacular flameouts in Texas that has everyone now thinking that player development is an all-or-none situation. The majority of guys on that prospect list being generated are never going to see the big leagues, and the vast majority of those that do will be mediocre to average major leaguers. And there is nothing wrong with an Eric Hurley becoming an average major leaguer.
by JBImaknee on Dec 9, 2008 12:50 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Laird is the King of the World
From this awesome fanpost.
http://www.lonestarball.com/2008/7/9/568470/legendary

It's baseball. You don't always get what you want, and you don't always want what you get. --Ed Coffin
by txranger7 on Dec 9, 2008 1:44 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Probably the worst catcher the Rangers have had in ages
I stil remember how AJM glommed onto him only because he was Pudge’s backup, and for no other reason..
Now 8 disappointing, terrible defense, losing filled season later, he’s traded like all Rangers.
by Sharky on Dec 10, 2008 3:58 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
There's...
nothing about anything you said here that is true. Laird wasn’t the worst Rangers catcher in ages, he was never Pudge’s backup, and it hasn’t been eight seasons since Pudge played for the Rangers.
Also, Rusty Greer was never traded. Explain that.
by ghostofErikThompson on Dec 10, 2008 6:07 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

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