What does this guy look like? Boston edition

by Adam J. Morris on Apr 18, 2008 12:00 PM CDT Comment 52 comments

Lots of interesting guys to choose from in Boston...but I decided to go with Jonathan Papelbon:

via www.jonpapelbon.com

What does this guy look like he'd be doing for a living, if he weren't a baseball player?

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State Farm

Insurance agent. He’s the guy that wants to sell you every possible type of insurance you could possibly need during your lifetime.

Fishing in the rivers of life. All bound for Mu Mu Land.

by Escher on Apr 18, 2008 12:03 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Sparklets

Delivery dude.

...it's the weekend, so why the hell not?

by Rodney on Apr 18, 2008 12:06 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs

g1

Rangers Farm Probables

by shroomer on Apr 18, 2008 12:08 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Hey,

That sounds familiar…

by bhudson on Apr 18, 2008 1:09 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Younger, slightly less maladjusted

brother of that guy in Full Metal Jacket.

Whatever gets you through the night, 'salright, 'salright.

by t ball on Apr 18, 2008 12:06 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

President

Gigantic Wristwatch Lovers of America

Rangers Farm Probables

by shroomer on Apr 18, 2008 12:07 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs

Kind of a goof, nice enough, no direction in life. To all the bartenders here, I’m not saying you’re all goofs with no ambition. Unless your a goof with no ambition. Completely unrelated to this topic and my comments, what’s Ben do for a living?

What happened to my old signature?

by WyoRanger on Apr 18, 2008 12:11 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Ben

Papelbon actually looks like someone who’d be Ben’s roommate.

by Adam J. Morris on Apr 18, 2008 12:12 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Marine on leave for the weekend

Behind the Steel Curtain

by cgolden on Apr 18, 2008 12:11 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

UPS truck driver

There is no such thing as global warming. David Murphy was cold, so he turned the sun up.

by SarasotaRanger on Apr 18, 2008 12:12 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Ssecurity guard

At a Toys R’ Us store.

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

by Ed Coffin on Apr 18, 2008 12:13 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Guy who seems

way too happy to be a cashier at Chick-fil-A

by JBImaknee on Apr 18, 2008 12:14 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Professional Hand Model

or Corey Haim impersonator

It's baseball. You don't always get what you want, and you don't always want what you get. --Ed Coffin

by txranger7 on Apr 18, 2008 12:16 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

I can't believe this one is posted on his website too

It's baseball. You don't always get what you want, and you don't always want what you get. --Ed Coffin

by txranger7 on Apr 18, 2008 12:21 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Justin Timberlake's unhip brother who thinks he's hip.

by rooster on Apr 18, 2008 12:16 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

The White Ryan Howard

lepricon

by jparks77 on Apr 18, 2008 12:17 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Disturbing

Bobblehead Collector

"But the major difference is where Showalter tried to overthink everything Washington at times seems like he isn't thinking at all. " - rentz

by hillcrest on Apr 18, 2008 12:21 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Owner of his own unsuccessful small business

www.mavsmoneyball.com

by Wes Cox on Apr 18, 2008 12:22 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

recruiter

of a piss poor white power org

With karate I'll kick your ass, from here, to way over there...

by hotshot215 on Apr 18, 2008 12:23 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Bag collector

Douche brand.

"Hmn [sic] ... pehaps [sic] I've said too much..." - LSJesus

by Chase Irwin on Apr 18, 2008 12:44 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

+1

There is no such thing as global warming. David Murphy was cold, so he turned the sun up.

by SarasotaRanger on Apr 18, 2008 1:03 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Child molester

by tlt29 on Apr 18, 2008 12:55 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

If he weren't a douche bag baseball player...

he’d just be a douche bag..

"I've learned that before I open my mouth, I should look both ways for midgets." - Denny Crain

by mtex on Apr 18, 2008 1:03 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

I was going to say prick,

but you beat me to the punchline…

by bhudson on Apr 18, 2008 1:10 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

I agree with Escher

He’s definitely an insurance adjuster.

But that river of tears has dried for all of us.

by trza on Apr 18, 2008 1:05 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Id say a salesman of some sort.

Adam loves him some Lard

by NYTXFAN on Apr 18, 2008 1:38 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Miller Lite distributor/driver

absolutely

Greatest Inventions Ever? 1. TiVO, 2. Boobs, 3. Baseball

by willamos2 on Apr 18, 2008 1:40 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

White Supremecist

or an extra in American History X

by mcbheath on Apr 18, 2008 1:45 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

gun sales....

at wal-mart

Grime, "the magic shortening that spreads like lard."

by jcAustin on Apr 18, 2008 1:46 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Plays part

of Uncle Fester at an Addams Family-themed dinner theater

by Captain Fubar on Apr 18, 2008 1:46 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

LSB 2.0 confuses and scares me.

by ghtd36 on Apr 18, 2008 1:56 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Well, that didn't work.

Try this

LSB 2.0 confuses and scares me.

by ghtd36 on Apr 18, 2008 1:57 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

About to be an outtake on American Idol.

by rooster on Apr 18, 2008 2:00 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

prison guard

at a woman’s prison. he hosts wet tshirt contests where the winner gets a carton of cigs

send me nominations for the Hall of the Very Good
http://www.buchanan4pres2008.org/
NIXON: NOW MORE THAN EVER

by gossamer on Apr 18, 2008 2:07 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Virgil has always been a competitive person by nature

The crew cut is a carryover from his glory days as captain of the Coolidge High swim team. He ran a tight ship, Virgil did.

The last few years have not been kind to Virg. His night desk job at the Harrisburg HoJo was supposed to afford him ample time to study for his vocational nursing license. One of Virgil’s other loves, you see, is helping the sick and incontinent. Unfortunately, “cracking the books” has never come easy for Virg. He failed out of Fort Germanna Community College last quarter.

Subsequently, Virgil has decided to reinvent himself. He’s going for it. Gentleman, meet the newest addition to the competitive eating circuit, Virgil “SuperGuts” McGeeeeee.

Rex Hudler is in demand as a motivational speaker.

by Brian Thomas on Apr 18, 2008 2:11 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Contestant on a XXX game show ...

entitled “What Kinds of Things Can I Shove Up My Own Ass?”

by Athos on Apr 18, 2008 2:13 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Kindergarten teacher

Stranded RangR Fan In San Fran

by Stranded Rangr Fan In San Fran on Apr 18, 2008 3:03 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Welcome, Stranded

Welcome to Lone Star Ball.

It's baseball. You don't always get what you want, and you don't always want what you get. --Ed Coffin

by txranger7 on Apr 18, 2008 3:46 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Assistant Manager trainee

at the local bowling alley

by mgb5 on Apr 18, 2008 3:29 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Host of Blues Clues

or server at Baskin Robbins.

by rraider on Apr 18, 2008 4:10 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

a grown up version of the freckled kid from Sandlot

but without freckles…and he lost a lot of weight…does that even make sense?

"No, Donny, these men are nihilists, there's nothing to be afraid of."

by Walter Sobchak on Apr 18, 2008 4:45 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Sort of creepy, sort of metrosexual

What does that spell? ...Porn actor.

Nobody thought of this?

Go Strangers.

by hightowersmith on Apr 18, 2008 5:03 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

I thought of it

Seemed like a perfect fit. But of course I don’t watch porn, you sicko.

What happened to my old signature?

by WyoRanger on Apr 18, 2008 6:10 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Yell leader

by robert_d_wilfong on Apr 18, 2008 5:28 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Sells Car Alarms

..at an electronics store.

by bflood36 on Apr 18, 2008 5:31 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Bowling alley

He looks like he’d work at a bowling alley. Don’t ask me why, he just does.

A Lonestar in California - 2.0

by lonestarJon on Apr 18, 2008 5:31 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

why Jon?

That David Eckstein is soooo cheap when he was with the Angels he would go to the library to use the computer because he didn't want to buy one for himself.

by LAMuscleFag on Apr 18, 2008 10:10 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

LOL

I’ve just got bowling on the brain today, I guess.

Actually, I think it might be the fact that his head kinda looks like a bowling ball.

A Lonestar in California - 2.0

by lonestarJon on Apr 18, 2008 10:13 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Spencer

from The Hills.

"He throws that curveball so hard and it snaps 12 to six like you've never seen." - Matt Kemp on Clayton Kershaw

by miles on Apr 18, 2008 5:47 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

+1

Miles just went MTV on everyone’s ass

by mcbheath on Apr 18, 2008 6:17 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

one of the 3 stooges...whats his name..

Shemp or was it Curly Joe?

That David Eckstein is soooo cheap when he was with the Angels he would go to the library to use the computer because he didn't want to buy one for himself.

by LAMuscleFag on Apr 18, 2008 10:09 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs