Maxim's Hot 100 is Wrong
by Austin Ranger on May 23, 2008 7:57 PM CDT
80 comments
I like Maxim, but I have to say that whomever did their Hot 100 must be a switch hitter. I don't even think they were close on some of them. Here's my top 7. I know that Julia Ormond is a caveat of "in her day", but she's still hot. I'm sure we could go back in time and pick others...after I made this, I remembered that my all time....in the history of man...of all time...is Donna Reed....
1. Rachel Bilson
2. Jessica Biel
3. Eva Mendes
4. Sarah Michelle Gellar
5. Kate Beckinsale
6. Anna Faris
7. Julia Ormond (in her day)
1 recs |
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Where the F
is Miley Cyrus.
""I want George W. Bush to say, "All things equal, I screwed up this country far worse than I did the Texas Rangers."" - Chris Ballard
by miles on May 23, 2008 8:00 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Did you see the picture in Maxim?
If anything, she’s underrated…
by Austin Ranger on May 23, 2008 8:09 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Nay, my friend
Super, duper nay.
After Alba got baby-ruined by that shifty and very ugly magician, Bilson now tops the list of uber-hotness.
The 40 trumps all!!!
by thedirkatron on May 23, 2008 8:20 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
So true on the Alba
part. I remember watching her on one of the tonight shows, question was about what she thinks about sex on the first date. Her response: something like “why not?” or “sure” She was so perfect.
by AirJordan on May 23, 2008 10:51 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Hmmm...
Isla Fisher
Julianne Moore
Jordana Brewster
Eliza Dushku (trashy hot)
Heather Graham
Morgan Webb
Cat Deeley
Kari Byron
I’ll think of more in a bit…
I'd love for part of the "new look" to be a return to the red uniforms of the 1990s. - Ian Kinsler
by ortonius on May 23, 2008 8:09 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Isla Fisher
More than the sum of her parts. I watched “The Lookout” a while ago (good flick, best I’ve seen in a while), which she is in, and at first you dont think much of her, but she kinda sneaks up on you, and by the end you’re like wow that girl is f’in hot.. Stout.
by Sharky on May 24, 2008 7:21 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Fischer/Fisher/Fischer club sandwich
Jenna, Isla, and ROTJ Carrie.
by cmkelly29 on May 24, 2008 10:51 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Where is
Kim Kardashian on this list?
""I want George W. Bush to say, "All things equal, I screwed up this country far worse than I did the Texas Rangers."" - Chris Ballard
by miles on May 23, 2008 8:18 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Miles wants him some
superpooper.
Sharky said it, I believe it, that settles it
by DJCahill on May 23, 2008 8:24 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Reggie Bush
bangs that ass every night.
""I want George W. Bush to say, "All things equal, I screwed up this country far worse than I did the Texas Rangers."" - Chris Ballard
by miles on May 23, 2008 10:25 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
That girl is all class
I like how she showed up at the Nicole Brown benefit party.
Ain’t no shame in her game!
"For the record, I did not and do not like the Volquez trade, even though Hamilton is awesome and our best player and I think he’s going to be one of the best players in baseball." philikid3
by Brian Thomas on May 25, 2008 11:06 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
The thing I cannot believe
Is not only did Britney Spears make that list, but she is as high as #19.
Seriously, am I the only one who is not attracted to Britney Spears in the least anymore, thanks to all of her shennanigans the past few years?
A Lonestar in California - 2.0
"I LOVE to fart" - Bert Blyleven
by lonestarJon on May 23, 2008 8:18 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Another thing I can't believe
Is that Taylor Swift is on that list.
A Lonestar in California - 2.0
"I LOVE to fart" - Bert Blyleven
by lonestarJon on May 23, 2008 8:24 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Taylor Swift >>>>>>>>>>>>>>Miranda Lambert
"Seems like you look at his espn stats and watch his espn highlights." - miles
"All I really have to do is look at his stats" - miles
by DaheelzCM on May 23, 2008 8:27 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Taylor Swift = teenie bopper
She’s country’s Miley Cyrus.
Not bad to look at, but I subtract about a million pts. for everything else.
But thanks for your opinion anyway. ;)
A Lonestar in California - 2.0
"I LOVE to fart" - Bert Blyleven
by lonestarJon on May 23, 2008 8:29 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Taylor Swift is real cute
You gotta like her. Even though on any superficial looks thing, she’s nothing special.
by Sharky on May 24, 2008 7:23 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
List = Invalid
Brittney at #19 automatically invalidates it. You can find better than her waiting tables at a truck stop near you.
Not having Megyn Price on it at all is equally as egregious.
"Seems like you look at his espn stats and watch his espn highlights." - miles
"All I really have to do is look at his stats" - miles
by DaheelzCM on May 23, 2008 8:18 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
+1
A Lonestar in California - 2.0
"I LOVE to fart" - Bert Blyleven
by lonestarJon on May 23, 2008 8:20 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Yeah, well....
I think your messed up views on this subject are well documented…..Maya Rudolph??
"Seems like you look at his espn stats and watch his espn highlights." - miles
"All I really have to do is look at his stats" - miles
by DaheelzCM on May 23, 2008 8:23 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Ouch...
Maya Rudolph? Really?
Please tell me the ugly/not funny combo doesn’t do it for ya AJM?
"The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance."-Socrates
by slc ranger on May 23, 2008 8:28 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Took me a second to recall who...
...Maya Rudolph is… I kept visualizing Maya Angelou, and for that I was truly frightened.
"Hello win column..."
by rangersfan34 on May 23, 2008 9:21 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I was expecting you...
...to mention Melanie Brodeur. Or Maggie Gyllenhaal.
by Adam J. Morris on May 23, 2008 8:34 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
aahhh, Maggie Gyllenhaal..
Grieve: The Yanks have struggled so far. - Lewin: Yeah, cry me a bag of money.
by WhipSmart on May 24, 2008 1:31 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
She lives in my neighborhood
I think she really cares about the planet. I saw her husband wearing blue jeans and sandals. I wanted to vomit on him. They strike me as drama club dorks.
by jparks77 on May 24, 2008 2:35 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Really cares about the planet
So she destroys it more than usual like other liberals who “really care about the planet”?
Drives an environment destroying hybrid, things like that?
by Sharky on May 24, 2008 7:35 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Maya Rudolph was cute
I’ve backed Adam up on this before.
by Sharky on May 24, 2008 7:24 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Eva Mendes...
is #1 on my list.
She has to be a descendant of Aphrodite.
"The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance."-Socrates
by slc ranger on May 23, 2008 8:19 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
She kinda has a man face
Maybe I’ve just seen some pictures that bring out the man in the face. Great body.
by jparks77 on May 24, 2008 2:25 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I haven't seen the complete list, but...
...I can’t complain about Marisa Miller being #1. She’s #2 on my list (behind Adriana Lima), so I have no problem with their top choice. Some of the Top 20 are definitely questionable, but I can live with it.
(I guess I should give props to my wife and actually knock Adriana and Marisa down a notch, but the wife doesn’t read LSB, so we’ll leave her out of this.)
"Hello win column..."
by rangersfan34 on May 23, 2008 8:34 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Ashlee Simpson is 18??
Fuck that list.
"When I am pissed off, I get angry." - Miles 5/06/08
by Chase Irwin on May 23, 2008 8:43 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Dave Attell...
“Every man has a fantasy about Jessica Simpson. Here’s mine. Hey Jessica, hold your sister Ashlee down so I can kick her in the throat.”
"The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance."-Socrates
by slc ranger on May 23, 2008 8:47 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I love me some Dave Attell
Ashlee was hotter before she started doing coke or whatever makes her look like crap now. She wasn’t ever hot, but I had come to terms that Jessica was so insanely out of my league that the closest I would be with her was with her uglier sister. That has a bit of an attraction to it.
by Gdawg on May 24, 2008 1:31 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Ashlees nose job
Kinda fucked her imo. I dunno, her old nose was distinctive, at least, and gave her kind of an “hey, that ugly Simpson sister is actually kinda sexy” vibe.. But maybe I’m overblowing the whole thing.
by Sharky on May 24, 2008 7:27 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I see what you mean
Not sure how, but I do understand. That nosejob took away the only sort of special thing she had going for her
by Gdawg on May 24, 2008 9:57 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Elisha Cuthbert
Finally gets some respect. Other than that, the list is pretty crappy….
by jcir454 on May 23, 2008 8:48 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Where's
Jessica Simpson, I wanna bag her pretty bad…
""I want George W. Bush to say, "All things equal, I screwed up this country far worse than I did the Texas Rangers."" - Chris Ballard
by miles on May 23, 2008 8:48 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
I share Aaron Gleeman's
fascination with Keeley Hazell.
...and curse Sir Walter Raleigh, he was such a stupid git.
by t ball on May 23, 2008 9:06 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
She is stout
I dunno, there’s a very distincy catagory of those British page 3 girls. Most of them dont do it for me. But Keeley is the cream of that crop I think.
She looks about perfect topless. Like a ideal topless woman.
by Sharky on May 24, 2008 7:29 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I'd do at least 99 of them
and 99 of them wouldn’t talk to some of you guys with the nerve to nitpick these gorgeous, sexy, and multi-orgasmic…err, multi-talented… women.
I don't know Karate...but I know Karazy!
by Clueless on May 23, 2008 9:18 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
They don't have to talk
in fact, it’s preferable that most of them don’t.
...and curse Sir Walter Raleigh, he was such a stupid git.
by t ball on May 23, 2008 9:21 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
¡Vámonos!
"When I am pissed off, I get angry." - Miles 5/06/08
by Chase Irwin on May 23, 2008 9:22 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
What are you talking about
Those ladies would be all about me.
The crazed hobo look is totally in right now.
The 40 trumps all!!!
by thedirkatron on May 23, 2008 9:59 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
My kinda topic!
First I looked for Duff on the maxim list..#25 not too bad. She seems to be climbing in these lists, even though she’s less hot than she was when she was 16. No doubt the editors take note of her more adult image nowdays and thats about it.
But I found a pretty good top 100 recently, it was the FHMonline top 100. Now it’s tricky because there is like two FHM..the USA one no longer has a mag and only is online. The regular FHM is like a Euro thing with an actual mag now. Anyways the FHMONLINE top 100 is the best of these lists I’ve prolly ever seen and do you know why? Cus apparantly it was based on reader votes. That simple fact made the list about 10k times better than these shitty incredibly out of touch editor selected lists.
http://www.fhmonline.com/girls_100_sexiest_2008.asp?cnl_id=1&stn_id=156
As you see Britney Spears is rated #100 in the fhmonline list..much more inline with what the average man thinks of her, where these editors live in some insulated bubble world where she’s still hot. But the fhmonline top 10 is also stout
10 Kate Beckinsale
9 Blake Lively
8 Tricia Helfer
7 Hilary Duff
6.Emmanuelle Chriqui
5.Scarlett Johansson
4.Elisha Cuthbert
3.Jessica Alba
2.Jessica Biel
1.Megan Fox
Now that list has a couple headscratchers (Tricia Helfer?) but is overall a much better snapshot of what the real average guy thinks, right down to #1 Megan Fox who is probably the most liked girl on the internet right now, so she deserves #1. And Duff got so high cus people like her a lot more than editors (probably liberals, lol) who again, live in a bubble world where Britney Spears and Lindsey Lohan are teh hotness.
So I guess the point is allowing people to vote resulted in a stunningly better list than these incredibly shitty editor lists that everybody hates every year. Who always do such things as put some incredibly bland, barely famous, Euro supermodels really high. Like fucking Gisele Bundchen or Marissa Miller or people that are fucking average as shit and nobody outside (probably liberal) bubble people think are hot.
I just cant believe how bad that Maxim list is. Fucking editors. Top ten with my comments:
10: Ashley Tisdale (WTF? Are you serious? I’m down with the clean disney thing of course, but seriously? Just such bad taste. Vanessa Hudgens even would be a far better choice in the Disney catagory)
9: Lindsay Lohan: (Again the editors show how out of touch they are, as most real dudes now fairly despise Lilo as a coked out STD ridden whore, although she still looks a lot better than Britney)
8: Christina Aguilara: (Ugh again, another shitty editor staple. Not horrible, but no way top ten material, and hideous inflated water ballon breasts).
7: Eva Mendes (Editor shit again. Bland as fuck, but a staple on editor lists).
6: Cuthbert (cant disagree here, she’s stout, you cant get em all wrong I guess)
5 Sarah MIchelle Gellar (WTFX2?? As I read in another blog comments about this pic, is this the 1996 list or 2008?)
4. Eva Longeria (I like her, and >>Mendes, but this slot is too high)
3 Jessica Biel (Cant really argue here, like Cuthbert they didn’t fuck this one up, and in touch with real world tastes, as Biel is very positively looked on by most guys)
2 Scarlett Johansson (Again, not my personal favorite, but you cant argue to much, stout like Cuthbert and Biel)
1: Marissa Miller (Awful. I barely know who the fuck this is. Bland as FUCK.)
So 7 out of those ten choices are pretty awful.
I didn’t even look beyond the top ten for other atrocities, I dont have all day. Maybe I’ll make a seperate post for that. Suffice it to say editor selected Maxim list=shit as usual, Voter selected fhmonline list=pretty good.
This is an epic post to do sharky proud..if only I knew Rangers prospects this well..
by Sharky on May 24, 2008 7:12 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Megan Fox
Double secret overrated. See disgusting slutty tattoos.
by brettgardner on May 24, 2008 7:45 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
She's pretty hot
Can look terrible and skanky..can look really good.
At least she’s a fresh face. I give her points for that alone. Biel, Alba, all these have been around for years.
by Sharky on May 24, 2008 8:13 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Christina
is complete hotness. She’s top 10 easily on my list
by Gdawg on May 24, 2008 9:59 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Baby ruined
The 40 trumps all!!!
by thedirkatron on May 25, 2008 1:02 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I just
Read an article today about how she has E cups now because of that thing.
I’ll take it for a test drive.
by brettgardner on May 25, 2008 1:13 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Does
Silicon respond to pregnancy? Or are you suggesting that her enhancements, taken in the aggregate, have made her some kind of cyborg-titted tart? If so, I’d still take it for a test drive.
by brettgardner on May 25, 2008 10:31 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
"Take it for a test drive"?
I don’t get it…
Are you trying to call me fat?
The 40 trumps all!!!
by thedirkatron on May 25, 2008 2:50 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Jessica Biel: tragic case of horsefaceitis
Just say neigh.
And fuck Maxim. Anyone older than Miles caught reading that stupid little rag ought to deny it with extreme prejudice.
"For the record, I did not and do not like the Volquez trade, even though Hamilton is awesome and our best player and I think he’s going to be one of the best players in baseball." philikid3
by Brian Thomas on May 25, 2008 11:02 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
+1
A Lonestar in California - 2.0
"I LOVE to fart" - Bert Blyleven
by lonestarJon on May 27, 2008 12:23 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Give me
Eva Longoria
Heather Graham 10 years ago
Non-thunderthighed Beyonce
Keeley Hazell
Jackie Guerrido (the hottest weathergirl you’ll ever see. She’s on Univision.)
Adriana Lima
and Vida Guerra with a bag on.
Also, if the list is “hot” then Alba makes it, but if it’s a “sexy” list, she plummets off the face of the earth. She’s seriously the most sexless “hot girl” celebrity I’ve ever seen. She exudes ice-queen bitch, just like Sarah Michelle Gellar.
by brettgardner on May 24, 2008 8:17 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Kate Winslett, Eternal Sunshine.
I can’t think of any other word to describe her than adorable. Although I’m with Adam on Maggie Gyllenhal also, who kind of reminds me of Drew Berrymore, whom I also find adorable.
by chief on May 25, 2008 1:31 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Your balls, please.
You’ve lost the privilege.
by brettgardner on May 25, 2008 1:38 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
My tastes have changed since I've gotten older
But I’m still not ashamed!
by chief on May 25, 2008 1:42 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
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