Maxim's Hot 100 is Wrong

is Miley Cyrus.

Overrated.

Isla Fisher
Julianne Moore
Jordana Brewster
Eliza Dushku (trashy hot)
Heather Graham
Morgan Webb
Cat Deeley
Kari Byron

I’ll think of more in a bit…

Kim Kardashian on this list?

Is not only did Britney Spears make that list, but she is as high as #19.

Seriously, am I the only one who is not attracted to Britney Spears in the least anymore, thanks to all of her shennanigans the past few years?

Brittney at #19 automatically invalidates it. You can find better than her waiting tables at a truck stop near you.

Not having Megyn Price on it at all is equally as egregious.

is #1 on my list.

She has to be a descendant of Aphrodite.

...I can’t complain about Marisa Miller being #1. She’s #2 on my list (behind Adriana Lima), so I have no problem with their top choice. Some of the Top 20 are definitely questionable, but I can live with it.

(I guess I should give props to my wife and actually knock Adriana and Marisa down a notch, but the wife doesn’t read LSB, so we’ll leave her out of this.)

Fuck that list.

Jessica Simpson, I wanna bag her pretty bad…

fascination with Keeley Hazell.

and 99 of them wouldn’t talk to some of you guys with the nerve to nitpick these gorgeous, sexy, and multi-orgasmic…err, multi-talented… women.

First I looked for Duff on the maxim list..#25 not too bad. She seems to be climbing in these lists, even though she’s less hot than she was when she was 16. No doubt the editors take note of her more adult image nowdays and thats about it.

But I found a pretty good top 100 recently, it was the FHMonline top 100. Now it’s tricky because there is like two FHM..the USA one no longer has a mag and only is online. The regular FHM is like a Euro thing with an actual mag now. Anyways the FHMONLINE top 100 is the best of these lists I’ve prolly ever seen and do you know why? Cus apparantly it was based on reader votes. That simple fact made the list about 10k times better than these shitty incredibly out of touch editor selected lists.

http://www.fhmonline.com/girls_100_sexiest_2008.asp?cnl_id=1&stn_id=156

As you see Britney Spears is rated #100 in the fhmonline list..much more inline with what the average man thinks of her, where these editors live in some insulated bubble world where she’s still hot. But the fhmonline top 10 is also stout

10 Kate Beckinsale
9 Blake Lively
8 Tricia Helfer
7 Hilary Duff
6.Emmanuelle Chriqui
5.Scarlett Johansson
4.Elisha Cuthbert
3.Jessica Alba
2.Jessica Biel
1.Megan Fox

Now that list has a couple headscratchers (Tricia Helfer?) but is overall a much better snapshot of what the real average guy thinks, right down to #1 Megan Fox who is probably the most liked girl on the internet right now, so she deserves #1. And Duff got so high cus people like her a lot more than editors (probably liberals, lol) who again, live in a bubble world where Britney Spears and Lindsey Lohan are teh hotness.

So I guess the point is allowing people to vote resulted in a stunningly better list than these incredibly shitty editor lists that everybody hates every year. Who always do such things as put some incredibly bland, barely famous, Euro supermodels really high. Like fucking Gisele Bundchen or Marissa Miller or people that are fucking average as shit and nobody outside (probably liberal) bubble people think are hot.

I just cant believe how bad that Maxim list is. Fucking editors. Top ten with my comments:

10: Ashley Tisdale (WTF? Are you serious? I’m down with the clean disney thing of course, but seriously? Just such bad taste. Vanessa Hudgens even would be a far better choice in the Disney catagory)
9: Lindsay Lohan: (Again the editors show how out of touch they are, as most real dudes now fairly despise Lilo as a coked out STD ridden whore, although she still looks a lot better than Britney)
8: Christina Aguilara: (Ugh again, another shitty editor staple. Not horrible, but no way top ten material, and hideous inflated water ballon breasts).
7: Eva Mendes (Editor shit again. Bland as fuck, but a staple on editor lists).
6: Cuthbert (cant disagree here, she’s stout, you cant get em all wrong I guess)
5 Sarah MIchelle Gellar (WTFX2?? As I read in another blog comments about this pic, is this the 1996 list or 2008?)
4. Eva Longeria (I like her, and >>Mendes, but this slot is too high)
3 Jessica Biel (Cant really argue here, like Cuthbert they didn’t fuck this one up, and in touch with real world tastes, as Biel is very positively looked on by most guys)
2 Scarlett Johansson (Again, not my personal favorite, but you cant argue to much, stout like Cuthbert and Biel)
1: Marissa Miller (Awful. I barely know who the fuck this is. Bland as FUCK.)

So 7 out of those ten choices are pretty awful.

I didn’t even look beyond the top ten for other atrocities, I dont have all day. Maybe I’ll make a seperate post for that. Suffice it to say editor selected Maxim list=shit as usual, Voter selected fhmonline list=pretty good.

This is an epic post to do sharky proud..if only I knew Rangers prospects this well..

Eva Longoria
Heather Graham 10 years ago
Non-thunderthighed Beyonce
Keeley Hazell
Jackie Guerrido (the hottest weathergirl you’ll ever see. She’s on Univision.)
Adriana Lima
and Vida Guerra with a bag on.

Also, if the list is “hot” then Alba makes it, but if it’s a “sexy” list, she plummets off the face of the earth. She’s seriously the most sexless “hot girl” celebrity I’ve ever seen. She exudes ice-queen bitch, just like Sarah Michelle Gellar.

I can’t think of any other word to describe her than adorable. Although I’m with Adam on Maggie Gyllenhal also, who kind of reminds me of Drew Berrymore, whom I also find adorable.