Josh Hamilton Facts

by UrbanDad on May 6, 2008 10:58 PM CDT

Since I've been ripping off the Chuck Norris facts for the game-day threads, I thought we could come up with our own Josh Hamilton "facts."

For starters:

* Bud Selig didn't stop the 2002 All Star Game because the managers ran out of pitchers, they got word that Josh Hamilton had changed the channel.

* On the day he was born, Josh Hamilton's line was: .367/.653/1.097.

* Before calling strikes, umpires ask for Josh Hamilton's permission.

* Josh Hamilton once hit a ball over the fence in Anaheim... from Tampa.

Anyone else?

6 recs | Comment 39 comments | Add your comment

Read Related

Story-email Email | Print |

Comments

Hmm

Hamilton is so good, women can’t handle his long shots from his wood.

by Coolbean04 on May 6, 2008 11:04 PM CDT reply reply 0 recs

In a move to cut down on counterfeiting, the Dept. of Treasury is replacing Alexander Hamilton with Josh Hamilton on the $10 bill. There is only one Josh Hamilton.

by UrbanDad on May 6, 2008 11:09 PM CDT reply reply 0 recs

“North Texas High Wind Advisory” is just another way of saying “Josh Hamilton Batting Practice.”

by UrbanDad on May 6, 2008 11:19 PM CDT reply reply 0 recs

hah

Gerald Laird is my hero.

by DSheppard on May 7, 2008 12:13 AM CDT up reply reply 0 recs

Rec

by coolaid on May 7, 2008 12:19 AM CDT reply reply 0 recs

HR tonight

Did they say how long that shot was? I was sorta TIVOing through the game. Went a long damn way.

by Black Francis on May 7, 2008 12:23 AM CDT reply reply 0 recs

425

But Josh and Tom didn’t believe it.

by baylor on May 7, 2008 12:30 AM CDT reply reply 0 recs

i think the issue is

that hamilton hits them really high up into the air. I think distance traveled doesn’t give as accurate an account

Rare Gnats Sex

by ab03 on May 7, 2008 12:33 AM CDT up reply reply 0 recs

dude

you are good at these

Rare Gnats Sex

by ab03 on May 7, 2008 12:32 AM CDT reply reply 0 recs

These were funny

3 years ago.

by dieselT8 on May 7, 2008 12:39 AM CDT reply reply 1 recs

Most people smoke rocks....

Josh Hamilton smokes boulders.

brettgardner's mom is a stupid bitch.

by DaheelzCM on May 7, 2008 8:05 AM CDT reply reply 0 recs

Boulders...

Boulders of crack…

Say your sorry to Ron Washington

by miles on May 7, 2008 9:42 AM CDT up reply reply 0 recs

I started a thread on NMLR Forum last night...

that ended up becoming a sort of illustrated version of this:

http://forum.newbergreport.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=4321

by cmkelly29 on May 7, 2008 9:37 AM CDT reply reply 0 recs

Josh Hamilton Fact

On one of my fantasy baseball teams, I put everyone on the bench but Josh Hamilton, and I’m leading the league in Wins, Saves and ERA.

"that suzuki guy should go back to making cars" - My girlfriend after C.J.'s close in game 2

by tdi1985 on May 7, 2008 10:00 AM CDT reply reply 0 recs

Hamilton Facts

Hamilton has to pay a quarter of his salary to replace windshields of cars which are hit by his home runs, and the club pays for the ones in batting practice.

Hamilton doesn’t use a bat, he just swats the ball out of the yard with his hands.

When Hamilton is at the plate and the call is made to the bullpen, everyone is too afraid to answer.

When Hamilton comes to the plate, the pitcher dons catchers gear. And so do the rest of the fielders.

People look back into history and say, “That Babe Ruth was certainly no Josh Hamilton”

After healing the sick and walking on water, Josh Hamilton likes to park a pitch into the bleachers each day.

by iblum on May 7, 2008 10:21 AM CDT reply reply 0 recs

more stupid hamilton facts.

Hamilton doesn’t swing and miss, the balls get scared and run away.

Hamilton gets intentionally walked with the bases loaded .

Hamilton doesn’t need PED’s, he needs a warning label.

by iblum on May 7, 2008 10:25 AM CDT up reply reply 0 recs

Every time Josh Hamilton hits a Home Run

This happens:

by cmkelly29 on May 7, 2008 10:57 AM CDT reply reply 0 recs

What happens?

Conan grabs a red stick?

...and curse Sir Walter Raleigh, he was such a stupid git.

by t ball on May 7, 2008 5:20 PM CDT up reply reply 0 recs

It's the Walker, Texas Ranger / Chuck Norris lever

It brings up clips from the show, out of context. It’s really hilarious.

by cmkelly29 on May 7, 2008 6:14 PM CDT up reply reply 0 recs

The answer to every AFLAC trivia question is Josh Hamilton

by UrbanDad on May 7, 2008 12:50 PM CDT reply reply 0 recs

and

Every pitch thrown to Josh Hamilton is recorded as an E1.

Josh Hamilton’s balls are named Franklyn German and Sidney Ponson.

Josh Hamilton makes Jon Daniels look like he knows what he’s doing.

by clark on May 7, 2008 2:44 PM CDT reply reply 1 recs

"Every pitch thrown to Josh Hamilton is recorded as an E1."

That’s tops, right there. That is just an awesome statement.

by cmkelly29 on May 7, 2008 3:18 PM CDT reply reply 0 recs

+1 Best I've seen

by Ph3 on May 7, 2008 9:22 PM CDT up reply reply 0 recs

Superman wears Josh Hamilton pajamas

by Topgun22 on May 7, 2008 4:30 PM CDT reply reply 0 recs

To save time, whenever Josh gets a cleat stuck in the turf, he just rips his foot off. They always grow back.

What happened to my old signature?

by WyoRanger on May 7, 2008 5:46 PM CDT reply reply 0 recs

Josh’s glove is made from the skin of a velociraptor he genetically engineered and then killed with his bare hands.

What happened to my old signature?

by WyoRanger on May 7, 2008 5:49 PM CDT reply reply 0 recs

Josh’s baseball card contains to the formula for cold fusion.

What happened to my old signature?

by WyoRanger on May 7, 2008 5:56 PM CDT reply reply 0 recs

Keep 'em coming

"The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance."-Socrates

by slc ranger on May 7, 2008 6:08 PM CDT up reply reply 0 recs

Hamilton is so good, even his sperm wins the MVP award.

by Coolbean04 on May 7, 2008 6:00 PM CDT reply reply 0 recs

Hambone makes John Holmes look like Miles

Dalton

by jparks77 on May 7, 2008 6:46 PM CDT reply reply 0 recs

Ahahahahahahaha!

...it's the weekend, so why the hell not?

by Rodney on May 10, 2008 10:07 AM CDT up reply reply 0 recs

Hamilton

once meditated on the name Drew Meyer. Drew hit 25 consecutive home runs in batting practice that day. Unfortunately that was the day before the Rangers drafted him.

...and curse Sir Walter Raleigh, he was such a stupid git.

by t ball on May 7, 2008 7:13 PM CDT reply reply 0 recs

To honor Josh batting third in the order, Jesus rose from the dead on the third day.

by UrbanDad on May 7, 2008 7:16 PM CDT reply reply 0 recs

Josh Hamilton nicknamed his bat “Daisy,” everyone else on the team nicknamed theirs “Josh Hamilton.”

by UrbanDad on May 7, 2008 7:17 PM CDT reply reply 0 recs

“Walker, Texas Ranger” stopped production seven years before Josh Hamilton arrived because it was determined that no one could handle that much awesomeness that close together.

by UrbanDad on May 7, 2008 8:02 PM CDT reply reply 0 recs

This thread had grown tiresome until Josh Hamilton himself posted on it.

brettgardner's mom is a stupid bitch.

by DaheelzCM on May 7, 2008 9:32 PM CDT reply reply 0 recs

what?

???

Every loss is one step closer to the top of the 2009 draft!

by knockoutking on May 9, 2008 12:48 PM CDT up reply reply 0 recs

Cancer got Josh Hamilton…and it didn’t make it

by texrangers31 on May 8, 2008 1:50 AM CDT reply reply 0 recs

Sexson

Hamilton’s arrival to the pile made Sexson immediately burst into tears.

Picking a random blog comment and wielding it as a club to bash "blogs" is like picking a random romance novel off an airport bookstore shelf and saying, "This book sucks. Fuck you, Tolstoy -- your medium is worthless!" - Ken Tremendous

by TheBZA on May 9, 2008 3:47 PM CDT reply reply 0 recs