Josh Hamilton Facts
by UrbanDad on May 6, 2008 10:58 PM CDT
40 comments
Since I've been ripping off the Chuck Norris facts for the game-day threads, I thought we could come up with our own Josh Hamilton "facts."
For starters:
* Bud Selig didn't stop the 2002 All Star Game because the managers ran out of pitchers, they got word that Josh Hamilton had changed the channel.
* On the day he was born, Josh Hamilton's line was: .367/.653/1.097.
* Before calling strikes, umpires ask for Josh Hamilton's permission.
* Josh Hamilton once hit a ball over the fence in Anaheim... from Tampa.
Anyone else?
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Hmm
Hamilton is so good, women can’t handle his long shots from his wood.
by Coolbean04 on May 6, 2008 11:04 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
In a move to cut down on counterfeiting, the Dept. of Treasury is replacing Alexander Hamilton with Josh Hamilton on the $10 bill. There is only one Josh Hamilton.
by UrbanDad on May 6, 2008 11:09 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
“North Texas High Wind Advisory” is just another way of saying “Josh Hamilton Batting Practice.”
by UrbanDad on May 6, 2008 11:19 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
HR tonight
Did they say how long that shot was? I was sorta TIVOing through the game. Went a long damn way.
by Black Francis on May 7, 2008 12:23 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
i think the issue is
that hamilton hits them really high up into the air. I think distance traveled doesn’t give as accurate an account
Rare Gnats Sex
by ab03 on May 7, 2008 12:33 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Most people smoke rocks....
Josh Hamilton smokes boulders.
brettgardner's mom is a stupid bitch.
by DaheelzCM on May 7, 2008 8:05 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Boulders...
Boulders of crack…
Say your sorry to Ron Washington
by miles on May 7, 2008 9:42 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I started a thread on NMLR Forum last night...
that ended up becoming a sort of illustrated version of this:
by cmkelly29 on May 7, 2008 9:37 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Josh Hamilton Fact
On one of my fantasy baseball teams, I put everyone on the bench but Josh Hamilton, and I’m leading the league in Wins, Saves and ERA.
"that suzuki guy should go back to making cars" - My girlfriend after C.J.'s close in game 2
by tdi1985 on May 7, 2008 10:00 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Hamilton Facts
Hamilton has to pay a quarter of his salary to replace windshields of cars which are hit by his home runs, and the club pays for the ones in batting practice.
Hamilton doesn’t use a bat, he just swats the ball out of the yard with his hands.
When Hamilton is at the plate and the call is made to the bullpen, everyone is too afraid to answer.
When Hamilton comes to the plate, the pitcher dons catchers gear. And so do the rest of the fielders.
People look back into history and say, “That Babe Ruth was certainly no Josh Hamilton”
After healing the sick and walking on water, Josh Hamilton likes to park a pitch into the bleachers each day.
by iblum on May 7, 2008 10:21 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
more stupid hamilton facts.
Hamilton doesn’t swing and miss, the balls get scared and run away.
Hamilton gets intentionally walked with the bases loaded .
Hamilton doesn’t need PED’s, he needs a warning label.
by iblum on May 7, 2008 10:25 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Every time Josh Hamilton hits a Home Run
This happens:
by cmkelly29 on May 7, 2008 10:57 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
What happens?
Conan grabs a red stick?
...and curse Sir Walter Raleigh, he was such a stupid git.
by t ball on May 7, 2008 5:20 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
It's the Walker, Texas Ranger / Chuck Norris lever
It brings up clips from the show, out of context. It’s really hilarious.
by cmkelly29 on May 7, 2008 6:14 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
The answer to every AFLAC trivia question is Josh Hamilton
by UrbanDad on May 7, 2008 12:50 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
and
Every pitch thrown to Josh Hamilton is recorded as an E1.
Josh Hamilton’s balls are named Franklyn German and Sidney Ponson.
Josh Hamilton makes Jon Daniels look like he knows what he’s doing.
by clark on May 7, 2008 2:44 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
"Every pitch thrown to Josh Hamilton is recorded as an E1."
That’s tops, right there. That is just an awesome statement.
by cmkelly29 on May 7, 2008 3:18 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
To save time, whenever Josh gets a cleat stuck in the turf, he just rips his foot off. They always grow back.
What happened to my old signature?
by WyoRanger on May 7, 2008 5:46 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Josh’s glove is made from the skin of a velociraptor he genetically engineered and then killed with his bare hands.
What happened to my old signature?
by WyoRanger on May 7, 2008 5:49 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Josh’s baseball card contains to the formula for cold fusion.
What happened to my old signature?
by WyoRanger on May 7, 2008 5:56 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Keep 'em coming
"The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance."-Socrates
by slc ranger on May 7, 2008 6:08 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Hambone makes John Holmes look like Miles
by jparks77 on May 7, 2008 6:46 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Ahahahahahahaha!
...it's the weekend, so why the hell not?
by Rodney on May 10, 2008 10:07 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Hamilton
once meditated on the name Drew Meyer. Drew hit 25 consecutive home runs in batting practice that day. Unfortunately that was the day before the Rangers drafted him.
...and curse Sir Walter Raleigh, he was such a stupid git.
by t ball on May 7, 2008 7:13 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
To honor Josh batting third in the order, Jesus rose from the dead on the third day.
by UrbanDad on May 7, 2008 7:16 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Josh Hamilton nicknamed his bat “Daisy,” everyone else on the team nicknamed theirs “Josh Hamilton.”
by UrbanDad on May 7, 2008 7:17 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
“Walker, Texas Ranger” stopped production seven years before Josh Hamilton arrived because it was determined that no one could handle that much awesomeness that close together.
by UrbanDad on May 7, 2008 8:02 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
This thread had grown tiresome until Josh Hamilton himself posted on it.
brettgardner's mom is a stupid bitch.
by DaheelzCM on May 7, 2008 9:32 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
what?
???
Every loss is one step closer to the top of the 2009 draft!
by knockoutking on May 9, 2008 12:48 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Cancer got Josh Hamilton…and it didn’t make it
by texrangers31 on May 8, 2008 1:50 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Sexson
Hamilton’s arrival to the pile made Sexson immediately burst into tears.
Picking a random blog comment and wielding it as a club to bash "blogs" is like picking a random romance novel off an airport bookstore shelf and saying, "This book sucks. Fuck you, Tolstoy -- your medium is worthless!" - Ken Tremendous
by TheBZA on May 9, 2008 3:47 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
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