OT: Will Leitch's Worst Sportscasters
by robert_d_wilfong on Jun 30, 2008 1:22 PM CDT
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Before cable TV ushered in an era of 24-hour sports coverage and snarky, personality-driven commentary, professional play callers were endowed with a unique talent for actually enhancing the experience of watching a game. They offered valuable insight, knew how to play up a big moment, and knew when to shut the hell up.
Over the past two decades, however, too many play-by-play guys–even some of the biggest names–have become motormouthed hacks whose egos are perpetually on display. They pepper their commentary with a constant flow of inane banter and irrelevant pop culture references—anything to get more air time. It’s enough to make any fan watch a whole game on mute. In the name of taking back televised sports, we hereby call out these 10 broadcasters as the worst of the worst—and beg TV execs to muzzle them before viewers revolt.
10. John Madden
9. Walt Frazier
8. Mike Patrick
7. Billy Packer
6. Bill Walton
5. Bryant Gumbel
4. Dick Vitale
3. Joe Morgan
2. Chip Caray
1. Chris Berman
RDW's Bottom 5
5. Charlie Waters
4. Dick Hicks
3. Stuart Scott
2. Chris Berman
1. Bryant Gumbel
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ge's cock-eyed
get it straight miles.
"Do they know who I am? Do they know my status? Thats what I thought."
-Miles 6/21/08
.501 or bust!
So many choices ...
Bryant Gumbel and Joe Morgan are the hardest for me to listen to but I’ll go with Morgan since he still has a job.
I love that Walton clip
Incredibly cheesy, but it still cracks me up.
Joe Morgan: (On Jay Bruce) I think he will. He brings energy to the team, and besides that, he is a pretty good hitter.
Ken Tremendous: I like that the #1 reason he will help his team is: "energy," and the distant #2 reason is: "ability to hit baseballs."
Trick Question
This is like asking ‘What is the worst way to get punched in the balls?’ There is simply no way I can, in good conscience, vote for only one of the above options. For this reason, I withhold my vote.
by Jack Nicholson 1974 on Jun 30, 2008 1:38 PM CDT reply actions
perfectly fair
As I voted for Morgan I says to myself “How can you not vote for Walton?” So I created 9 more user ID’s to do the poll justice.
W: "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."
by hubcityraider on Jul 1, 2008 12:03 PM CDT up reply actions
“They pepper their commentary with a constant flow of inane banter and irrelevant pop culture references—anything to get more air time…”
at maxim.com of all places…
No joke
So what’s the deal, Leitch leaves Deadspin to write Maxim articles?
Joe Morgan: (On Jay Bruce) I think he will. He brings energy to the team, and besides that, he is a pretty good hitter.
Ken Tremendous: I like that the #1 reason he will help his team is: "energy," and the distant #2 reason is: "ability to hit baseballs."
Didn't mean that literally
Just seems odd to me.
Joe Morgan: (On Jay Bruce) I think he will. He brings energy to the team, and besides that, he is a pretty good hitter.
Ken Tremendous: I like that the #1 reason he will help his team is: "energy," and the distant #2 reason is: "ability to hit baseballs."
-1
See my signature. If you want something from on air, watch this.
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5qadt_al-oliver_latino
Joe Morgan: (On Jay Bruce) I think he will. He brings energy to the team, and besides that, he is a pretty good hitter.
Ken Tremendous: I like that the #1 reason he will help his team is: "energy," and the distant #2 reason is: "ability to hit baseballs."
Did you watch the clip?
It has nothing to do with how to play baseball at all. You’re such a jabroni.
Joe is an ol'-timey player whose just... ol'-timey...
...even if he is wrong most of the time… listening to him and Miller dispute something so meaningless was a lot more entertaining than watching Ramirez and Fukodome foul off 74 pitches…
by oc on Jun 30, 2008 2:05 PM CDT up reply actions
Meaningless
That’s the perfect word for it. There was nothing insightful whatsoever in that “discussion”. I honestly feel bad for Jon Miller as he is dragged through that incredibly awkward, pointless dribble. It’s been a few weeks so I can’t cite anything specific, but that entire thing reeks of bad broadcasting, which is exactly what Morgan spews every night.
He is incredibly stubborn when it comes to how the game has changed since 1974 (Even when these “stats” prove exactly how awesome he was). He sticks to his guns regardless of how foolish it makes him look. He provides nothing insightful about the game beyond anecdotes of his playing days.
As far as a write in goes, I nominate Tim McCarver. He’s the only person I can’t stand more than Morgan.
Joe Morgan: (On Jay Bruce) I think he will. He brings energy to the team, and besides that, he is a pretty good hitter.
Ken Tremendous: I like that the #1 reason he will help his team is: "energy," and the distant #2 reason is: "ability to hit baseballs."
McCarver... another ol'-timey player...
...ol’-timey players being ol’-timey stubborn… isn’t that the appeal?
old men talking baseball… what’s wrong with that?
by oc on Jun 30, 2008 2:40 PM CDT up reply actions
here's a Morgan gem... taken from last year's Rangers-Angels showdown...
“well… what is OPS?... it’s just a number…”
i scoffed at this too… but, i can kinda see what he’s trying to illustrate… OPS shouldn’t be the above-all, determining statistic of how well a player or team does at the plate…
if that were true, the Athletics have no reason being as good as they are this year… pitching withstanding…
by oc on Jun 30, 2008 2:42 PM CDT up reply actions
except when you compare...
The OPS allowed by their pitchers to the OPS compiled by their pitchers… then it would make total sense. Who needs stats to make sense though?
Oh my
And oh my to the plus ones as well. What is wrong with you people?
by Brett Perryman on Jun 30, 2008 3:31 PM CDT up reply actions
my thoughts too
I’m floored. Morgan is the most obviously bad baseball guy I’ve ever listened to.
W: "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."
by hubcityraider on Jul 1, 2008 12:05 PM CDT up reply actions
Bryant Gumbel
no doubt. If you don’t vote for Bryant Gumbel it isn’t because you don’t think he’s the worst, but rather you never had to experience any of the games he has recently called on the NFL network.
Haha,
I forgot about him. Didn’t he do a Dallas game last year?
"No bear or disco for Juan" - Mr. Santos
and his first name was Terry or something like that
How do you call an entire NFL game and then get the QBs first name and team wrong?
Voted for Gumbel
Listening to the Cowboys games on NFLN is terrible with him and Cris Collinsworth.
Chris Davis is a beast.
I like Packer and Madden
especially Madden. He shouldn’t even be on that list. Dan Hicks is good too… I can think of a lot worse than those 3 guys.
Dino Radja >>> Soft Nowitzki
I agree...
Madden is entertaining.
Truthfully, I usually watch those games just because he is announcing them.
"No bear or disco for Juan" - Mr. Santos
The Royals catcher?!?
Oh, c’mon, he’s really eloquent. :)
"Boy, that is a gutless, 6-foot-7, .200-hitting formerly good player. What a joke." -Tom Grieve RE: Richie Sexson
“I say, chap… that stolen base was downright dandy… it appears i’ll have to refine my technique, methinks…
balderdash!... let us continue this challenge of sport, shall we?... where you attempt to… motor yourself 90 feet further, and, in the best interests of my club, strive to squelch your advancements!”
by oc on Jun 30, 2008 3:02 PM CDT up reply actions
OMG
I agree with Longhorn.
Today is a dark day for the mother f’ing dirkatron.
The 40 Trumps All!!!
by thedirkatron on Jun 30, 2008 3:07 PM CDT up reply actions
I hate when Stu Scott
tries to speak in ebonics on ESPN. It’s so annoying. It reminds me of Scoop Jackson and what Whitlock said about him: “Scoop is a clown. And the publishing of his fake ghetto posturing is an insult to black intelligence, and it interferes with intelligent discussion of important racial issues.”
by Agreen07 on Jun 30, 2008 2:10 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
Maybe you could make it your signature!
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
by Brian Thomas on Jun 30, 2008 2:43 PM CDT up reply actions
The worst I've ever heard
Joe Avezzano has done some Cowboy games on the radio…he sounds like a muppet. When I heard him I pictured these guys:
I guess it was the beatings made me wise. But I'm not about to give thanks, or apologize.
by TheJeezus on Jun 30, 2008 2:37 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
Unfuckinacceptable. Where is Rex Hudler? Where?
Rex Hudler has chunks of Stu Scott and Chris Berman in his stool…
Did you know that Rex Hudler is IN DEMAND as a motivational speaker? Did you?
This is a traveshamockrage.
Even his nickname is the planet’s worst. Can you think of a more dumbass nickname? Can you? It is a cartoon dog. That’s right, he prefers to be go by the moniker of a cartoon. And a dog.
Rex Hudler is the worstest. And if you say different, I will fight you…
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
Thou protest too much
I think you really have a man-crush on The Wonder Dog. Or maybe … just maybe … you’re one of his throng of jilted lovers.
by robert_d_wilfong on Jun 30, 2008 9:37 PM CDT up reply actions
Outrageous and mendacious
I am a notorious over-protester. And my intense hatred for all things Hudlerian is well documented:
http://www.lonestarball.com/2007/12/28/124227/72
Every breath that “man” takes’ is an affront to our very existence. He must be shunted with extreme prejudice.
In summary, sir, you have poor taste in the broadcasters you hate. I smack you across the cheeks smartly with my velvet gauntlets.
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
Another write in vote
Tim McCarver is gawdawful.
It's baseball. You don't always get what you want, and you don't always want what you get. --Ed Coffin
On the other side of the coin...
Who do you think is the best?
I think Pat Summerall (at least in his heyday) has to be in the conversation. Same with Keith Jackson. Vin Scully’s up there, and I’ve held for a long time that Gary Thorne is grossly underrated, especially in hockey.
And I know I’m a little biased, but I think Ralph Strangis and Darryl Reaugh are about as good as it gets in hockey.
Oh, and Eric Nadel rules.
"Boy, that is a gutless, 6-foot-7, .200-hitting formerly good player. What a joke." -Tom Grieve RE: Richie Sexson
Gary Thorne
He is the king of mispronouncing names. This becomes doubly retarded during the course of a hockey game. PLUS, he overgrandioses (my favorite newly made up verb) his voice like no other.
If he learns to speak normally and pronounce names correctly, you can put him back in the discussion. Until then… no f’in way.
Joe Buck
What an awful, awful man.
Though honestly I wouldn’t openly loathe him to the extent I do if it wasn’t for the fact that he broadcasts so many big events. Seriously, Joe Buck is the announcer for both the Super Bowl and the World Series. And he sucks. Something is wrong there.
Give me Gus Johnson or Marv Albert or John Miller or the chubby affable, Gumbel.
And Tom Grieve is the best color man in sports.
Believe that, fools.
The 40 Trumps All!!!
You're a Tim McCarver man, aren't you, Miles?
The 40 Trumps All!!!
by thedirkatron on Jun 30, 2008 3:16 PM CDT up reply actions
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
seriously it is hurting to laugh this hard. TAG? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
You don't like Jon Miller either?
Or are we talking strictly on the basis of the color guy?
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
by Brian Thomas on Jun 30, 2008 6:21 PM CDT up reply actions
I don't mind Jon Miller
for myself. Morgan is just dreadful. It’s just hard to listen to someone who is literally wrong about the majority of things that he says.
by Brett Perryman on Jun 30, 2008 6:41 PM CDT up reply actions
Agreed on both counts, except I would go farther than don't mind him on Miller
I think Miller is really good.
I’m solidly on board, however, with the Joe Morgan for Mayor of Ignoramus Heights campaign.
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
by Brian Thomas on Jun 30, 2008 8:58 PM CDT up reply actions
Someone constantly jabbing me in the ear
with an ice pick is better
by Brett Perryman on Jun 30, 2008 3:34 PM CDT up reply actions
I was really just giving a +1 to
the subject part about liking Joe Morgan…I’m not sure who I like most, one of the guys from one of those ESPN crews.
This conversation
begins and ends with one man…
Ken Harrelson.
Go Vote for Kinsler, Young, Hamilton, Bradley and write in Murphy. http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/events/all_star/y2008/ballot_reg.html - Vote up to 25 times on as many email accounts as you can think of!
love John Miller, Nadel, Harwell but best ever....
Holtz.
- "If you keep hitting me you're going to break my spirit" -Bullwinkle
hate Morgan, Walton, Sean Elliot, Hudler, but the worst ever....
Cosell
- "If you keep hitting me you're going to break my spirit" -Bullwinkle
Boo
Cosell was greatness…
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
by Brian Thomas on Jun 30, 2008 6:19 PM CDT up reply actions
Mike Rhyner
Just today he was telling us all that part of the reason Max Ramirez looked so comfortable behind the plate yesterday was because he caught Hurley in the minors which never happened since they were never on the same team.
For a supposed “keeper of the great game” he is woefully lacking when it comes to knowing about baseball. Today’s example is just the latest.
Let me have a diablo sandwich, a Dr. Pepper, and make it fast I'm in a God damned hurry!
by LSBUser on Jun 30, 2008 5:44 PM CDT reply actions
To be fair
He probably got that from the Ranger broadcast. Josh mentioned that Max and Hurley were familiar with each other from playing together in the minors during yesterday’s game. Much worse for that mistake to come from Josh.
But I agree, he probably should have checked that fact.
True
Mike embarrasses himself just about every time he discusses baseball in any depth on air, though. It was a little better when he had Greg who was a human factual error machine, and he could just correct him and not say a ton else. But now those guys ask him questions and put him on the spot. It doesn’t go well.
by Brett Perryman on Jun 30, 2008 5:55 PM CDT up reply actions
That's true
Of course, I can’t stand Josh either.
Let me have a diablo sandwich, a Dr. Pepper, and make it fast I'm in a God damned hurry!
by LSBUser on Jun 30, 2008 5:57 PM CDT up reply actions
Ugh
Today’s segment was brutal. I hate listening to Corby feign interest in baseball. Mike’s rant about trading away Young, Cat, etc. because of the loser’s history was pathetic. He even tried to say Kinsler was in that group. I turned it over to Russ Martin I was getting so sick of it.
Joe Morgan: (On Jay Bruce) I think he will. He brings energy to the team, and besides that, he is a pretty good hitter.
Ken Tremendous: I like that the #1 reason he will help his team is: "energy," and the distant #2 reason is: "ability to hit baseballs."
Today's nugget
According to Mike, Tommy Hunter went to Auburn.
Let me have a diablo sandwich, a Dr. Pepper, and make it fast I'm in a God damned hurry!
by LSBUser on Jul 1, 2008 5:13 PM CDT up reply actions
I laughed out loud....
When he said “You may have heard us mention his name”
Bullshit.
Joe Morgan: (On Jay Bruce) I think he will. He brings energy to the team, and besides that, he is a pretty good hitter.
Ken Tremendous: I like that the #1 reason he will help his team is: "energy," and the distant #2 reason is: "ability to hit baseballs."
what about best?
i could listen to bob costas talk about damn near anything
Stu Scott
just went waaayyy out of his way to say “fighting” like Chris Rock. What a hack.
by Brett Perryman on Jun 30, 2008 10:03 PM CDT reply actions
Morgan...
has to be the worst imo. Plus he would be even worse without Miller if that’s at all possible.
Stuart Scott is a close runner up.
To round out my top 5 I would say McCarver, Hudler, and John Buck.
Side note – Vin Scully is the other end of the spectrum. He gets my vote as best ever.
"The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance."-Socrates
Mike Patrick
Why the hell late in the 4th quarter of a good game do you ask what Brittney SPears is doing??
"Well, the Dallas Mavericks got beat by the New Orleans Hornets last night ending their season. Word is that someone on the team is dating Jessica Simpson." - Jay Leno
McCarver and Morgan are obvious
Joe Buck is brutal though. At least the two idiots stay in their baseball cages only spouting one breed of nonsense.
I do have to add a personal pet peeve of mine and that is Dan Fouts. How can a beard that great suck so bad?
While we're on the subject...
Did anyone notice this during the game the other day? A runner on first base (Hamilton) with no outs, up comes Milton Bradley. Pitcher starts his delivery and Bradley squares to bunt. Right as it happened, a baseball related discussion between Josh and Tom ended…
A moment’s pause and then, instead of talking about Bradley’s bunt attempt… they start talking about all of the baked goods they had been given.
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