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Jimmy Johnson stories

Here's an old SI article about Jimmy Johnson, heading into his 4th season as the Cowboys coach, that I always enjoyed.

There's a lot of good stuff in there, but this is my favorite part:

From Tex Ritter to the Big Bopper, from Bum Phillips to Tim McKyer, a wonderful menagerie of free spirits who dreamed bigger dreams than Port Arthur , even in its heyday, could handle are celebrated there. Two of the more prominent exhibits are busts of Janis Joplin and Jimmy Johnson , former schoolmates at Thomas Jefferson High, class of 1960 and '61, respectively. A smart girl and a smart boy, equally driven but in different directions—each was somewhat disgusted by the other's burgeoning talents and antithetical personality. Janis, a painter of some merit and a folk singer in those days, had the look of a beatnik and was called Beat Weeds.

* * *

Port Arthur is still there. "You oughta see my bust in the library," says Jimmy. He sips on his beer and then holds his head up in a mock pose. "I got a bust, right there with Janis Joplin ."

"They've got a display case," Rhonda cracks, "with Beat Weeds' panties in it."

"Beat Weeds' panties," Jimmy scoffs. "She never wore any panties." And to raised eyebrows all around, he adds, "From what I understand."


I wish I knew someone I could nickname "Beat Weeds."  That's a great nickname.

In fact, we need to find someone out there we could nickname "Beat Weeds."

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Tim McKyer

former UTA great.

"I’m sure you’ve seen Kiker before but I’ll just reiterate that the kid is mean on the mound. He is only 5’10’’ but he is an intimidator. He looks like he hates hitters. He has the juice for pressure situations."
-Jason Parks on Jul 22, 2008 10:08 PM

by Jayslick on Aug 6, 2008 1:02 PM CDT reply actions  

And a former city of Arlington garbageman...

...if my memory serves. I remember him mentioning something about working that job during the summer during his UTA career.

Physician: Primum non nocere

Batter: First, make no out

by Chad Crudup on Aug 6, 2008 2:50 PM CDT up reply actions  

Beat Weeds

CJ Wilson?

Well I can pretend to be Britney Spears. I'm already standing in urine and I'm with someone I don't like.

by Escher on Aug 6, 2008 1:08 PM CDT reply actions  

except

no weed for CJ.

though, might not hurt right now

""If they'd have told me you can make the team but you've got to shine the shoes, I'd have been there shining shoes." -Bradley

by ab03 on Aug 6, 2008 1:09 PM CDT up reply actions  

some people just need to smoke a bowl and chillax

CJ seems like one of them.

I hope this injury doesnt effect his Guitar Hero Tourney….

"I’m sure you’ve seen Kiker before but I’ll just reiterate that the kid is mean on the mound. He is only 5’10’’ but he is an intimidator. He looks like he hates hitters. He has the juice for pressure situations."
-Jason Parks on Jul 22, 2008 10:08 PM

by Jayslick on Aug 6, 2008 1:12 PM CDT up reply actions  

except he's said that he's completely straight edge

I wasn’t commanding “no weed for CJ,” I was saying he doesn’t smoke, drink, do anything.

""If they'd have told me you can make the team but you've got to shine the shoes, I'd have been there shining shoes." -Bradley

by ab03 on Aug 6, 2008 3:00 PM CDT up reply actions  

I know what ya meant

im just saying the dude looks like he’s about to snap, which is never good.

"I’m sure you’ve seen Kiker before but I’ll just reiterate that the kid is mean on the mound. He is only 5’10’’ but he is an intimidator. He looks like he hates hitters. He has the juice for pressure situations."
-Jason Parks on Jul 22, 2008 10:08 PM

by Jayslick on Aug 6, 2008 3:33 PM CDT up reply actions  

Wheat beads

is more like it for him.

Time you enjoy wasting was not wasted.

by t ball on Aug 6, 2008 1:23 PM CDT up reply actions  

I own a company called

Weed Terminator, Inc. so I kinda “beat weeds” on a daily basis. lol

"Would you mind walking a time or two so I could drive in some runs"? Milton Bradley

by boomer1 on Aug 6, 2008 1:12 PM CDT reply actions  

JJ reference

Mike Fisher at DallasBasketball.com has a bit about Jimmy Johnson in a article about Erin Andrews.

Should Erin Andrews be squeezing an athlete’s biceps? I don’t know; would it be OK if Brad Sham did that? (Answer: Yes. And nobody would think anything of it. I once felt Jimmy Johnson’s calf. Gave the shriveled old thing three or four good squeezes. True story. I’ll tell you about it sometime.)

Weird.

Signature! I don't need no stinking signature!!

by DerekSTheRed on Aug 6, 2008 1:15 PM CDT reply actions  

Funny story I heard about JJ

This came second hand from Jimmy himself, but he’s been trying to get on Survivor for 5 years now. He got real close one time but had blockage in his heart so they wouldn’t clear him.

by texasraider on Aug 6, 2008 1:24 PM CDT reply actions  

My favorite JJ moment

I loved when, in the 90s, he promptly cut Emmit Smith’s backup, Curvin Richards, after he fumbled twice in the second half of a game the Cowboys were dominating. His fumbles made it close and Jimmy, in the middle of the season, said, “you are dead to me,” and cut him. Ah, if all coaches would do the same.

Fire Ron Washington

by pblack on Aug 6, 2008 1:32 PM CDT reply actions  

Good idea, Adam

I nominate Clueless.

All in favor, say aye…

Last week I took a pleasure trip. I drove my wife to the airport.

by Brian Thomas on Aug 6, 2008 2:38 PM CDT reply actions  

aye

Plaschke: Scioscia, the former Dodgers catcher, is the model manager who has created an atmosphere of winning.
Junior:It's that simple. Mike Scioscia brings a Glade Plug-In labeled "Winning™" into the clubhouse and everyone who breathes it in gains 15 points in average.

by TheBZA on Aug 6, 2008 2:53 PM CDT up reply actions  

Concur

"The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance."-Socrates

by slc ranger on Aug 6, 2008 6:20 PM CDT up reply actions  

Drat

Now when I listen to a Joplin rendition of Me and Bobby McGee there will be a Jimmy Johnson association. Beats weed, I guess.

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

by Ed Coffin on Aug 6, 2008 3:16 PM CDT reply actions  

next time I hear it

I’ll be thinking about how she probably wasn’t wearing panties.

Warner Madrigal makes Ezequiel Astacio look downright handsome.

by tricer on Aug 6, 2008 3:23 PM CDT up reply actions  

which ruins it for me

that was a very unattractive chick…but man she had some pipes…

What's the rumpus?

by Hypo-Luxa on Aug 6, 2008 3:37 PM CDT up reply actions  

Even without em

you probably had to beat weeds to see anything.

"And I stopped beating my wife just a couple of weeks ago." -John McCain

by DJCahill on Aug 6, 2008 10:05 PM CDT up reply actions   1 recs

Heh

good one.

Time you enjoy wasting was not wasted.

by t ball on Aug 7, 2008 11:59 AM CDT up reply actions  

Janis

She and Kris Kristofferson were an item around the time she recorded Me and Bobby McGee. I don’t know how long the affair lasted but she eventually got dumped for Rita. Good move on Kris’s part in my estimation. I know a guy that played guitar in his band way back then who is from Fort Worth. He introduced Kris to my wife and I after a show in Seattle in about 1977 or so.

¡yo soy Horsedooty!

I soloed in the Mile High Club!

by horsedooty on Aug 6, 2008 5:25 PM CDT reply actions  

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