Dear Travis Metcalf,

Hey Travis, man, listen, we still care buddy. Look, don't get so down. I mean, Trav...you've been a TEXAS RANGER! A major leaguer! Come on buddy. I mean, sure, I know you probably heard all of the early off-season rumors and looked at the organizational depth chart. I can almost see the fist-pumping display you must have put on.

I mean, you must have thought it, right? This was the year! This was the year for Metcalf Mania! "I'm going to walk out there opening day and that hot corner is mine! That's what they are saying in the papers!" you must have been telling yourself. And, rightfully so, pal. I mean, you can pick it over there at third, right? A Pickin' Machine! Ah man, all that time in the minors, the hard work, the dedication, this was going to be IT! This was your time to etch your name into baseball lore.

But, you know, this week went and happened. Boy, that's tough. The Face of the Fucking Franchise is coming over to third. Can you believe that? I mean, you'd sit on Tom Hick's lap and call him Santa for an unnumbered amount of time just for the shot at that glorious hot corner. And here's this guy, Mike Young. You looked up to him, man! You respected him. And then he's all, "I'm better than third base. How dare they be so crass to think I'd stoop to standing 40 feet closer to the unwashed masses at the Ballpark?" but he takes your job anyway! Can you believe that?!

That's rough. That's ice cold. I feel for you, T-Met.

And I mean, would it have killed that Michael Young to throw out a "What about Travis? He's a competitor and he has earned the right to play third base." Couldn't he have even thrown you that bone? Sheesh. Instead he's just dissing third base, YOUR third base, like someone told him HE was the one going to Oklahoma. Wow. That made you seethe, didn't it? I know it did, buddy. But hey, look man, that kid moving Young to YOUR position, Elvis Andrus, he never won Tom Grieve Minor League Player of the Year, did he? No, he didn't. Think about that for a minute.

And you know what? Come on...you, Travis Metcalf, had 4 RBI in that 30 run game. You, Travis "Well Endowed" Metcalf with your soft hands and your balls of steel. Michael Young can't take that from you. Michael Young on that crisp August day had zero RBI. Zero. Not one. He had 5 ABs and couldn't even plate a man in a 30 run game. I know, though, that doesn't make you feel any better right now. But cheer up, buddy, you're in our hearts and we'll think about you any time the Rangers need a nondescript white guy to come off the bench and proceed to pop out to second base.

Hold onto hope, Travis. There's always that Ramon Vasquez vacated utility role. And you know, if you hold out long enough, surely another Ranger will have Thoracic outlet syndrome and that's when you POUNCE! Cheer up, pal.

Best wishes in 2009,

~GoET

P.S. I've attached a smile for you.