Ode to Rich Harden
by ghostofErikThompson on Dec 11, 2009 8:57 PM CST
Email
Print
Ode to Rich Harden
By ghostofErikThompson
"Harden, o Harden
Yes, it is you, Rich Harden freshly signed Texas Rangers that I implore
o mighty stiffener, 'tis ace I see yonder?
The staff has never been this hard
tRA and FIP cannot overstate what will be a Hardened (mill)wood
#40 on your back #1 on the mound
Do you kickbox Harden, o Harden?
o Harden you astound
o Harden with your captivating array of pitches and eyes that twinkle
What does a kid from Canada want with making us love him?
The heat you will experience in Texas summers rival only what we've felt the last few wintery days
An ace on a team full of clubs
A strikeout rate so dreamy
A contract fair and just, a gift wrapped from the Cubs
You be the prince on a payroll for paupers
You're a dreamboat on the murky MRI seas
Fragile be your arm but deafening is your quickened pace
Your crooked smile melts the hearts of men and and women alike
o Harden, you're as winsome as you are an ace
Harden, o Harden
For adding insult to your injuries to the Mariners I chuckle
Firm is your touch your walk rate will attest
200 innings they say, that's for a man without a spluckle
Take the hill and give us seven
Impressive is your Ks per 9
10 long years, a return to heaven
Your MPH are lofty but not as great as your heartbeats skipped per hour
All we ask is 170 innings and that winning smile
And if you'd like, take the ball in October and stay awhile
Harden, o Harden"
Welcome to the Texas Rangers, Rich Harden.
34 comments
|
15 recs |
Do you like this story?
Comments
You amaze me
in a good way.
"we’re a bunch of knee-jerking yahoos who like new and shiny things." -- FirebatM3 July 10, 2009
lol
fag…
j/k
thinking of a creative scheppers name for my new profile
by hurlerhurley on Dec 12, 2009 7:53 PM CST up reply actions
Is this an attempt at a joke?
I failed my LSB ethics test.
"WHAT A SHITLOAD OF FUCK" - LL's "Poochie" on Rich Harden signing with Texas over Seattle
This is the only thing I can say...
by ghostofErikThompson on Dec 11, 2009 9:23 PM CST up reply actions 8 recs
x
"I was going to say, 'You’re gay for Elvis.' But then I realized that I, too, am gay for Elvis." ~Adam J. Morris.
by Kinslerhomer on Dec 11, 2009 9:28 PM CST up reply actions
damn...
bend his ass over
oh just stop it now… i;ve had enough
thinking of a creative scheppers name for my new profile
by hurlerhurley on Dec 12, 2009 7:56 PM CST up reply actions
yeah...
u like that ass
thinking of a creative scheppers name for my new profile
by hurlerhurley on Dec 12, 2009 7:57 PM CST up reply actions
ummm if you weren't a DRUNK...
you’d actually be able to see that I was commenting on the picture above it,
Mr. Foster Brooks
So who's todays mistress? They're coming out of the Woodswork!
by BigGuns on Dec 12, 2009 8:22 PM CST up reply actions 2 recs
I'll be honest, I prefer i.oranges shenanigans over this one.
Nice attempt though.
"Blister please, with those wings in your spine.
Love to be with a brother of mine.
How he'd love to find your tongue in his teeth,
In a struggle to find secret songs that you keep,
Wrapped in boxes so tight, sounding only at night as you sleep." ~Jeff Mangum; Neutral Milk Hotel
by jdh90 on Dec 11, 2009 9:34 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
Strange.
I failed my LSB ethics test.
"WHAT A SHITLOAD OF FUCK" - LL's "Poochie" on Rich Harden signing with Texas over Seattle
His poems kinda flow for me.
I read this one and it was all over the place for me.
"Blister please, with those wings in your spine.
Love to be with a brother of mine.
How he'd love to find your tongue in his teeth,
In a struggle to find secret songs that you keep,
Wrapped in boxes so tight, sounding only at night as you sleep." ~Jeff Mangum; Neutral Milk Hotel
Like trades of Kevin Millwood...
odes aren’t written in a vacuum.
by ghostofErikThompson on Dec 11, 2009 9:54 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Seriously?
Someone could post a transcript of a Wade Phillips press conference, and it would be better that anything i.orange has ever posted.
by Anonymous New Guy on Dec 14, 2009 10:04 AM CST up reply actions
*rumbles of noise*
Reporter: Wade…Wade…Wade how are you?
Wade: I’m good, thanks.
I'm just goofin' new boot goofin'
Also I love how you use that instead of than
It really brings out something in your text. Brings a nice balance of flair, and stupidity. I like it.
I'm just goofin' new boot goofin'
So I made a typo
what’s your excuse?
by Anonymous New Guy on Dec 14, 2009 11:43 AM CST up reply actions
Sometimes...
it’s OK to have a good time.
by ghostofErikThompson on Dec 12, 2009 2:44 AM CST up reply actions
Just now starting?
I failed my LSB ethics test.
"WHAT A SHITLOAD OF FUCK" - LL's "Poochie" on Rich Harden signing with Texas over Seattle
Yeah, no joke
If you’ve read a while and are just now getting scared, I wonder whether you’ve paid close enough attention.
Surely you haven’t read any GDTs. 75% of the people who post on them have made comments that should require them to be put on suicide watch or have a restraining order taken out by a player they love just a little too much. Sometimes they make both types of comments in the same at-bat.
"Dying ain't hard. It’s living in the wake of a thorough public humiliation that’s hard.--JDT217
Internet greatness http://www.lonestarball.com/2009/11/10/1125340/will-carroll-calls-out-josey-wales
And the CPP's
Lots of disturbing sexual references to underage latinos in there
Look at the comments under Jeff Wilson's blog post on dallasnews.com. What a bunch of rocket scientists.- Keith Law
by Keynes on Dec 12, 2009 1:27 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Z's internet posting history is one giant disturbing sexual reference to underage latinos
"Dying ain't hard. It’s living in the wake of a thorough public humiliation that’s hard.--JDT217
Internet greatness http://www.lonestarball.com/2009/11/10/1125340/will-carroll-calls-out-josey-wales
+1
Scout: He was a first-round pick right? Got a huge bonus?
KG: Oh yeah.
Scout: Well, he spent a lot of it on milkshakes.
by knockoutking on Dec 12, 2009 3:27 PM CST up reply actions
Comments For This Post Are Closed
Secondary Sidebar
User Tools
Related FanPosts on Lone Star Ball
FanPosts
Community blog posts and discussion.
Certain photos copyright © 2012 by Associated Press or Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Associated Press and Getty Images is strictly prohibited.
