Elvis Andrus - 2009 AL Rookie of the Year
Mitch Moreland -Tom Grieve Rangers Minor League Player of the Year
Martin Perez - Nolan Ryan Rangers Minor League Pitcher of the Year

"[Font} doesn't turn 19 until the end of May and his heater can already hit 99 on the gun. That's baseball porn." - Jason Parks

"The House That Ruth Built, 85 years old, goes out as The House That Hamilton Knocked Down"

It's baseball. You don't always get what you want, and you don't always want what you get. --Ed Coffin

"Damn right. damn right, great idea or maybe just make the punk his bitch right on the mound so all the christers in the audience can start praying and speaking in tongues and perhaps handling snakes – kind of like the scene in Bruno in the cage fight" –Stuntman Mike, on the idea of putting a hardened criminal on the team as an enforcer, and what it would be like to watch him charge the mound.

"How about during the 7th inning stretch from now on we have mass abortions on the field!!???!! Gritty nom nom nom baby JESUS donkey fuck spectacular!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We can dig up TY COBBS BONES!!!AND USE THEM TO EVACUATE SOME LUCKY FANS UTERUS!!!!" –Section 339, in response to Stuntman Mike

"When he came up with that ball, hop or not, he looked exactly like a homeless guy who had found a long cigarette butt – only to discover it was soaked with gasoline. He could not have thrown out anyone there, even though Cust moves at about the speed of soil erosion." - Ed C.