Feliz The Cheeez
by oc on Jan 30, 2010 10:23 PM CST
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Neffy puts it on a block of cheddar
While waiting in line I noticed Martin Perez signing more and more mug shots of himself instead of fan memorablia. This lead me to infer that he probably didn't speak very good English and that he probably wasn't talking much to the autograph seekers.
The best part of the video (few will get) is that I try to speak good Spanish to Perez to which he embarrases me with a 'thank you'. Then I go all city-slang on Feliz, which probably confused him (observe how Perez tries to help him out with 'mucho queso'). 
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Do people in Texas even know what Tillamook is?
It dominates grocery stores out here. It’s hard to find any cheese but, like, Kraft singles that isn’t Tillamook.
never heard of it.
lifelong Texan.
"...like some Russian priest fresh off a bottle of potato vodka and a box of cigars." -t ball
by rangerdanger on Jan 31, 2010 1:49 PM CST up reply actions
upgrade
from shopping at sack and save?
The sell it in all the big chain grocery stores. I’m pretty sure even Sams and Costco sell it.
go to a Houlihan's
"Hang-Dai, Wu...Hang-Fu$&ing-Dai"
by Walter Sobchak on Feb 2, 2010 10:10 AM CST up reply actions
Thinking the same thing
Fucking WalMart Cheese. Dude, Tilla is the heat. Dare I say Neftillamook.
Your 2009 Snow Monkey Ambassador
dang
If you are gonna have him sign some cheese at least buy the name brand. Cheap asshole went and bought the walmart generic.
"He's got one of those arms that could throw a marshmallow through a battleship."
- Anonymous Baseball Scout on Neftali Feliz
shakes magic eightball.
30 years later. OC is homeless on the streets of Dallas with only one item in his backpack, and it’s a 30 year old block of molded disgusting cheese with the autograph of one of the best pitchers of all time. If it wasn’t a danger to society he’d probably be a rich man, but sadly he wanders around Dallas with his sticky cheese, and crazy faces scaring children, and making grown men vomit at the smell that’s coming from his backpack.
I'm just goofin' new boot goofin'
Fail
Neftali Feliz says sit your 5 dollar ass down before he makes change...
Hi, Keith. Is this the year Edinson Volquez finally wins RoY?
by Brian Thomas on Jan 31, 2010 12:00 PM CST up reply actions
I don't see it as a fail, at all.
I’m sorry you feel that way, Brian.
I'm just goofin' new boot goofin'
Also
“Could I get ya to sign a block o’ cheeeeeeze because you bring the stinkin’ chedda’ brotha’?” has got to be one of the greatest things I’ve ever heard.
by brettgardner on Jan 30, 2010 11:26 PM CST up reply actions 6 recs
It's way, way better...
than the time I bumped into Bruce Campbell in Miami and instead of A) ignoring him as someone who doesn’t know him should have, or B), trying to interact with him like a regular human being would, instead, I hastily rattled off several titles ideas for his next book that I was coming up with off the top of my head while he looked increasingly more and more annoyed. These included: Every Which Way but Bruce, The Bruce is Loose, and Bruces Wild.
It ended with him saying, “Alright, get out of here, kid.”
by ghostofErikThompson on Jan 30, 2010 11:46 PM CST up reply actions 4 recs
That was outstanding
Neftali Feliz says sit your 5 dollar ass down before he makes change...
Hi, Keith. Is this the year Edinson Volquez finally wins RoY?
by Brian Thomas on Jan 31, 2010 12:04 PM CST up reply actions
lol
The 40 Trumps All!!!
"Don't let the haircut fool you. I'm exceedingly wealthy." -Bill Gates.
by thedirkatron on Jan 31, 2010 7:23 PM CST up reply actions
just his response in that voice alone
would’ve been worth it
"Hang-Dai, Wu...Hang-Fu$&ing-Dai"
by Walter Sobchak on Feb 2, 2010 10:12 AM CST up reply actions
Definitely.
"Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence." -- Vince Lombardi
OC,
How long did it take you to come up with this line, and how many times did you practice delivering it before you fired it off?
"...like some Russian priest fresh off a bottle of potato vodka and a box of cigars." -t ball
by rangerdanger on Jan 31, 2010 1:56 PM CST up reply actions
That reminded me of the Simpsons episode
where Homer is wearing the hidden camera in a huge hat at the Quickie Mart.
Freude, schoener Goetterfunken,
Tochter aus Elysium,
Wir betreten feuertrunken,
Himmlische dein Heiligtum.
ok
but it would still sound amateur, lol
by Brandon Wilson on Jan 31, 2010 12:43 AM CST up reply actions
I'll carry the camera next time
where the hell was that?
"Hang-Dai, Wu...Hang-Fu$&ing-Dai"
by Walter Sobchak on Feb 2, 2010 10:13 AM CST up reply actions
There is a buzzing sound coming from your hat, perhaps you have a bee in your bonnet.
Bee?! Aaahh!
Greetings from the Humungus, the Ruler of the Wasteland, the Ayatollah of Rock and Roll-A. I laugh at your puny plans.
by Lord Humungus on Jan 31, 2010 2:45 PM CST up reply actions
How are you going to keep that thing from molding?
The Camera seems pretty creeperish, btw.
by TooLegitToQuit on Jan 31, 2010 1:06 AM CST via mobile reply actions
Freeze it
And keep it in Arizona with Ted Williams’ head. Then pray nobody in Glendale asks for head cheese in 2027.
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912) also -
"Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance."
~Ambrose Bierce
by Ed Coffin on Jan 31, 2010 1:24 AM CST up reply actions
Wow
"There is the Vegetarian Hot Pocket for those of us who don't want to eat meat, but would still like diarrhea." Jim Gaffigan
by Suicide Prince on Feb 1, 2010 11:57 AM CST up reply actions
Saw Martin's interview in spanish from that day.
He said that he started pitching at the age of 9 and it was his mother who encouraged him. I can’t footage of it, if anyone finds it, I could translate it.
i was like 5 people behind you in line
we both thought you were stupid for standing in line for that long for something that will be green and moldy in a week.
Greatest Inventions Ever? 1. TiVO, 2. Boobs, 3. Baseball
I've had some cheese in my refrigerator for a year
It doesn’t look molded and it’s never been opened so it doesn’t smell. I don’t know why it’s not all disgusting, but it’s not, so perhaps there is some hope for the future of OC’s autographed cheese.
by Black Francis on Jan 31, 2010 12:20 PM CST up reply actions
Cheese is a magnificent food product.
Very underrated in my opinion.
"grilled cheese punches like a bitch" -Gdawg
"i feel like k-rod after a save." -by reagan on Jan 23, 2010, that glorious day Hicks was out of our lives.
naw man,
people freakin love cheese.
"...like some Russian priest fresh off a bottle of potato vodka and a box of cigars." -t ball
by rangerdanger on Jan 31, 2010 1:54 PM CST up reply actions
Says the guy who's never heard of Tillamook
Sheesh, hit a Tom Thumb sometime, wouldja…
"Back on the scene, with a gangsta lean" RW
"When you have a weapon on your shoulder like he has, you can be cool." RW on Perez
And the little bastard threw it for a swinging strike three in a 3-2 count. He’s blessed. And ballsy.
ha.
Tom Thumb is gaheeeetto. ;)
"...like some Russian priest fresh off a bottle of potato vodka and a box of cigars." -t ball
by rangerdanger on Jan 31, 2010 2:45 PM CST up reply actions
I believe
we’re forgetting the most important, and classiest, cheese of them all….cottage cheese. But I have never seen a pitcher bring the “cottage cheese”
Rusty, the bed was very soft- Clark W. Griswold
by AndrusImpersonator on Jan 31, 2010 8:43 PM CST up reply actions
You've obviously never seen Eddie Guardado pitch
I'm just goofin' new boot goofin'
by iorange555 on Jan 31, 2010 9:04 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Zing...
"grilled cheese punches like a bitch" -Gdawg
"i feel like k-rod after a save." -by reagan on Jan 23, 2010, that glorious day Hicks was out of our lives.
HEY-OOOOOOOOOO
Rusty, the bed was very soft- Clark W. Griswold
by AndrusImpersonator on Feb 1, 2010 12:00 AM CST up reply actions
There will be plenty of other opportunities to get him to sign something that he signs for everyone else
by oc on Jan 31, 2010 2:01 PM CST up reply actions
oh, so you're assuming now that
nobody will follow your lead and get their cheeses signed by Feliz?
If they did, would you throw yours out?
Greatest Inventions Ever? 1. TiVO, 2. Boobs, 3. Baseball
Have him sign a cracker
with some of that spray can Easy Cheese. In fact, maybe I’ll just start calling Feliz Easy Cheese.
Freude, schoener Goetterfunken,
Tochter aus Elysium,
Wir betreten feuertrunken,
Himmlische dein Heiligtum.
uh
I'm just goofin' new boot goofin'
by iorange555 on Jan 31, 2010 11:23 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
he looks pretty amused, that has to be the first time and probably the last..
time he signs a block of cheese LOL
I did not ask you if you have herpes. I said is that a hairpiece?!?
nerves
"Hang-Dai, Wu...Hang-Fu$&ing-Dai"
by Walter Sobchak on Feb 2, 2010 10:16 AM CST up reply actions
'Mucho Queso'
will one day be LSB’s tagline.
'Waiting for a girl and she gets me into fights
Waiting for a girl we get drunk on Friday night'
for now it's part of my sig ha
"Josey drives to games???
I always assumed he rides in on his high horse"
jam0152
Martin Perez, "Mucho queso"
This post is losing its punch
Like a block of uneaten cheese
by oc on Feb 6, 2010 8:24 PM CST up reply actions
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