I NEED TO MAKE A SIGN FOR TODAY'S GAME!!!!!!!!!!!AAHHH!!
by oc on Oct 14, 2010 11:44 PM CDT
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PrintSo here's the deal... me and the fam got front row tickets in the upper decker tomorrow night
It's prime-time... national TV... its the Yankees... in our joint,...
...I'm thinking... ... I've got about four feet of railing to work with and about the width of six seats...
.....Time to get creative baby
THE PLAN
Our seats our roughly in the area outlined in the box below
Observe the camera-well at the very end of media row. If I was a betting man, and I'm not because I don't bet, I'd venture to bet that you've got Todd the TBS cameraguy occupying that space tomorrow evening from 7-11...in the PM
So you make a little noise...give the ol' vuvuzela a toot every now and then, throw that 3 x 5 Texas flag across your back, stretching it arm length to arm length, and that deadbeat from Los Angeles, whose lost so much money in his life by making bets, is bound to do a 180 and throw the lens on ya
I'm thinking... let's roll out a cropped banner of Jeter in his Broadway pose
Obviously you erase out everything but Jeter, (..i'm too fuckin lazy right now)... blow it up to four feet, and voilà...
Or to simplify the matter, you could just take your cropped picture of Jeter, twist some knobs in Photoshop by making him gold, and then paste him atop the base of an Oscar award
Or another idea I had was creating a big square whiteboard... then pasting it entirely with Monopoly money... EXCEPT... you leave an outline of negative space (blank board) for an interlocking N and Y
Again, I'm too lazy to draw this out. And it's about this time I should remind you that I'm lame and don't have a copy of PhotoshopanyonewannagivemeafreecopyofPhotoshop?
But if you should find yourself here on the eve of one of the greatest nights in Ranger history... excited, bored, stoned, horny or just feeling downright creative and wish to bring some of these brain manifestations to life to share with the rest of the class... please do so
Or by all means share some of your own
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And now, here's a side-by-side comparison of Don Mattingly with a St. Bernard
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The game is tomorrow
When you're drowning, you don't say 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,' you just scream.
by t ball on Oct 14, 2010 11:49 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
it's now past midnight and the timestamp on your comment was already passed midnight in one time zone
So thanks for laying a stinking pile of unremovable jackshit in my thread, thank you
I like these ideas....
hopefully, you’d spell ‘cheater’ correctly.
I always liked the A-Rod sign i saw a few years ago. I suppose it wouldn’t work as well, now.
“A-Rod Plays Like a Virgin”
(Wife) "So what do you want to watch on the T.V.? UFC or porn?"
(Husband) "Hmm... well, porn, I guess."
the spelling of 'cheater' is weird
my version probably comes off as ‘bad’, but it’s deliberatly bad to keep with the spelling of his last name
but someone probably would see it and say we’re uneducated, i get it
Jeter Wears Jorts
Jeter Is Below Average
CaNO More Pinstripes in Arlington
"What IS your fascination with my forbidden closet of mystery?"
Jeter is quite sub-par at fielding
Jeter has negative defensive value
"I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it." - Mitch Hedberg
I like these 2 ideas, basic and oversimplified
"Sometimes you just want to sit back and watch somebody throw 100." - Jeff Passan on Neftali Feliz
"Baseball's all that's real" - JB
So, word is you don't much care for this state.
'Waiting for a girl and she gets me into fights
Waiting for a girl we get drunk on Friday night'
Cry Me a Big Bag of Money
…could be used in the right situation… and to honor Josh.
(Wife) "So what do you want to watch on the T.V.? UFC or porn?"
(Husband) "Hmm... well, porn, I guess."
by mtex on Oct 15, 2010 12:39 AM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
secondeded
"Sometimes you just want to sit back and watch somebody throw 100." - Jeff Passan on Neftali Feliz
"Baseball's all that's real" - JB
I'd go pro-Ranger over anti-Yankee.
But the Mattingly/St. Bernard sim would be hilarious. NYC would be scratching their heads, then getting angry, calling in radio shows…
'Waiting for a girl and she gets me into fights
Waiting for a girl we get drunk on Friday night'
how about, "We're not all Cowboys fans"?
(Wife) "So what do you want to watch on the T.V.? UFC or porn?"
(Husband) "Hmm... well, porn, I guess."
"Derek Cheater" is low hanging fruit.
But that’s just me. Your Mattingly one is good, though it be cool if you find a picture of C.C. screaming, and put a picture of a hippopotamus next to it. Course, they’d find a way to call you racist for it, so I don’t know.
Pro-Ranger might be better, true. Maybe something with Lee, like a picture of him with “Gone To Texas” next to it. Or “Come and Take It” (you know, like that cannon in the Texas Revolution).
by Giant Space Ants on Oct 15, 2010 12:08 AM CDT reply actions
i believe that was Gonzales, good sir.
I agree that any Texas history factuals should be overused in this series. Though, some revolutionary sayings could be misconstrued as racist these days.
“Remember the Alamo! Remember _______!”
“You can go to Hell! I’m going to Texas!”
(Wife) "So what do you want to watch on the T.V.? UFC or porn?"
(Husband) "Hmm... well, porn, I guess."
I think you're looking for "Goliad" after the Alamo...
The Come and Take It flag with the ALCS logo in place of the cannon would be great.
by Mike the Grate on Oct 15, 2010 12:39 AM CDT up reply actions
This. A thousand times this.
You want a Texas flag tattoo? Get this one say I.
"...like some Russian priest fresh off a bottle of potato vodka and a box of cigars." -t ball
by rangerdanger on Oct 15, 2010 12:55 AM CDT up reply actions
obviously... i couldn't remember Goliad
I was only born on effin’ San Jacinto day.
I was hoping the creative types could fill in the blank after remembering the Alamo.
(Wife) "So what do you want to watch on the T.V.? UFC or porn?"
(Husband) "Hmm... well, porn, I guess."
This is the sign I went with, did anyone see it?
On TV?maybe????
by oc on Oct 16, 2010 1:53 AM CDT up reply actions
I could barely see that from my seats
I was trying to find your sign but all the signs on the upper deck were so small.
I saw something resembling a hand with a yankee emblem and thought it might be you
"I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it." - Mitch Hedberg
We were in line with the skycam and smacking the sign whenever a Ranger got a hit
Yeah it was small, couldn’t have been any bigger than 44″×44″ .. Guess we were hoping it would look bigger than it was
by oc on Oct 17, 2010 4:10 AM CDT up reply actions
I was at the game and thin I saw it
"Sometimes you just want to sit back and watch somebody throw 100." - Jeff Passan on Neftali Feliz
"Baseball's all that's real" - JB
What section were in? Did you have a vuvuzela?
I thought I saw you one section over, but we never get to see any of the signs on our level unless we walk around.
"I’ve been a Rangers fan all my life and I can tell you there’s been plenty of fucking crying in baseball…" - WhipSmart, 6.3.08
331, row 1... Yeah we had a vuvuzela... We also had a Texas flag we threw in the air every now and then
by oc on Oct 17, 2010 4:13 AM CDT up reply actions
Definitely you I saw then.
"I’ve been a Rangers fan all my life and I can tell you there’s been plenty of fucking crying in baseball…" - WhipSmart, 6.3.08
How's this...?
“We stole Cliff Lee like we stole your bike!”
“We have an Ace, you have an Ace of Chubs.”
“Our thirdbasemans OPS is better than yours!” <——That’s for you, philkid
“Mystique and Aura don’t work here. We’re a family team and don’t allow strippers.”
"I don't really like pitchers." - Nelson Cruz
This saddens me.
And after I defended you from tball at the beginning of this thread.
"I don't really like pitchers." - Nelson Cruz
Constructive criticism
These phrases are too long and require too much interpretation
you gotta keep it short and on-point
These were mainly attempts at humor and building on previous jokes in earlier posts.
When did you get all serious on us?
This is what happens when you wait until the night before to do your homework that’s due the next day…
"I don't really like pitchers." - Nelson Cruz
Just make sure you get there super early
you don’t want any New York Turd to hand up their shitty sign first
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Knock it over, thump your chest and say "THIS IS OUR HOUSE BITCH!"
Then fire a beer on them.
"The Angels are like the villain in the movie that isn't dead until he's been stabbed 150 times in the bath tub, yet he still might come back up one more time." - Eric Nadel
Here you go
I just submitted this into a contest if I win something I’ll split it with you.
"There's really no way of knowing... Sometimes when I see their big eyes looking up from my lap I think, that's definitely a homeless guy in a fur coat." Betty White on SNL
by Pocket Ninja on Oct 15, 2010 1:08 AM CDT reply actions 7 recs
I got one.
A white posterboard or sign with the Texas T in the middle and over shadowing it are the words……
NEW BLOOD RUNS RED!!!!!
or
IT’S TIME……FOR NEW BLOOD!!!!!
You knock out the Rangers mantra and the halloween allure all at the same time….
"Back in Irish's day you had to kill a man before you were taken seriously in polite society." - Aquaman56 06/25/10
by Samuel_L_Bronkowitz on Oct 15, 2010 9:41 AM CDT reply actions
you know you like it.
"Back in Irish's day you had to kill a man before you were taken seriously in polite society." - Aquaman56 06/25/10
by Samuel_L_Bronkowitz on Oct 15, 2010 9:47 AM CDT up reply actions
"You tell em I'm coming, and hell's coming with me!!!!"
"Back in Irish's day you had to kill a man before you were taken seriously in polite society." - Aquaman56 06/25/10
by Samuel_L_Bronkowitz on Oct 15, 2010 9:49 AM CDT reply actions
this would be great
if the title said “and the championship rings are coming with me” and you had photo-shopped Nolan Ryan’s or Jon Daniels’ face onto this.
Go pro-Rangers. I'd much rather hear 'Let's Go Ranger's' tonight rather than 'Yankees Suck'. Show some support for our team, rather than negativity on the opposition.
That said, the Yankees do suck and they and their fans can go fuck themselves.
by Witt(less) on Oct 15, 2010 9:54 AM CDT via mobile reply actions
You're not allowed to say "suck" in the stands.
At least, Rangers fans aren’t allowed to. Last time Cliff Lee pitched versus the Yankees in Arlington, a Yankess fan a few seats over told Berkman to go fuck himself (for not throwing him the ball upon completion of the third out, of all things….god forbid Berkman threw it to a kid instead of a balding guido) and there was no consequence.
by FuturePants on Oct 15, 2010 10:03 AM CDT up reply actions
alds game 1
my section and the few around it were doing a “you suck you suck” when the ump made a crap call.
no one said a word.
"I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it." - Mitch Hedberg
meh.
"Back in Irish's day you had to kill a man before you were taken seriously in polite society." - Aquaman56 06/25/10
by Samuel_L_Bronkowitz on Oct 15, 2010 10:00 AM CDT reply actions
I hate you PB, so much.
"Back in Irish's day you had to kill a man before you were taken seriously in polite society." - Aquaman56 06/25/10
by Samuel_L_Bronkowitz on Oct 15, 2010 10:00 AM CDT up reply actions
Honestly, I think it would be pretty fucking funny if you printed out a Pbucket bandwith exceeded notice and took it to the game.
I don't care what you say
Cause your lovely words decay
by LSJ on Oct 15, 2010 11:20 AM CDT up reply actions 2 recs
not a bad idea, actually.
"Back in Irish's day you had to kill a man before you were taken seriously in polite society." - Aquaman56 06/25/10
by Samuel_L_Bronkowitz on Oct 15, 2010 11:53 AM CDT up reply actions
hey-o!
Just thought of one when the song came on the radio…..
Have a sign of a road with the Rangers party wagon passing one sign with the TB logo crossed out and two signs in front of it – one being the NY sign and the next being the World Series logo.
The caption would read – “THE ROAD GOES ON FOREVER, AND THE PARTY NEVER ENDS!!!!”
"Back in Irish's day you had to kill a man before you were taken seriously in polite society." - Aquaman56 06/25/10
by Samuel_L_Bronkowitz on Oct 15, 2010 10:33 AM CDT up reply actions
So, what song was it?
It's baseball. You don't always get what you want, and you don't always want what you get. --Ed Coffin
very funny doctah jones.
"Back in Irish's day you had to kill a man before you were taken seriously in polite society." - Aquaman56 06/25/10
by Samuel_L_Bronkowitz on Oct 15, 2010 10:52 AM CDT up reply actions
i have game 7 tickets, and if the matchups hold....
i’m going to be on the front row across from first base holding up this:
EYES OF A GOAT
http://www.burnmonkeyburn.com/2010/10/andy-pettittes-eyes-of-goat-call.html
ugh.. the link makes you look at a picture of Rome for an extended period of time.
(Wife) "So what do you want to watch on the T.V.? UFC or porn?"
(Husband) "Hmm... well, porn, I guess."
no, the audio is there... just hard getting away from Rome's trance.
(Wife) "So what do you want to watch on the T.V.? UFC or porn?"
(Husband) "Hmm... well, porn, I guess."
eh?
"Back in Irish's day you had to kill a man before you were taken seriously in polite society." - Aquaman56 06/25/10
by Samuel_L_Bronkowitz on Oct 15, 2010 10:58 AM CDT reply actions
I'm not good at paint and don't have a knack for photshop, so excuse the mess....
"Back in Irish's day you had to kill a man before you were taken seriously in polite society." - Aquaman56 06/25/10
by Samuel_L_Bronkowitz on Oct 15, 2010 10:59 AM CDT up reply actions
thought #2
"Back in Irish's day you had to kill a man before you were taken seriously in polite society." - Aquaman56 06/25/10
by Samuel_L_Bronkowitz on Oct 15, 2010 11:03 AM CDT reply actions
I wouldn't do the monopoly money thing
From far away, it will just look like the NYY logo.
"I wanted to go out there and punch Julio," Washington said. - After Borbon dropped a fly ball with one out in 9th of the AL West clinching game against Oakland As. 09/25/10
"If I had caught it, the force would have taken me through the fence." -- Rockies outfielder Ryan Spilborghs about a Nelson Cruz line drive.
by NorCalRangersFan on Oct 15, 2010 1:30 PM CDT reply actions
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