It's an off day. The Cubs won a close 1-0 affair. And JeffWooWoo is no doubt celebrating with a victory lap dance somewhere. It's time for Lone Star Ball to relive their favorite WooWoo memories.
Who would have thought on that fateful day of April 19, 2010, that a cry for "HELP!" about bars near our beloved Ballpark in Arlington would cause a cross-league kinship between surly Internet Rangers fans and a lone Cubs fan named JeffWooWoo? I certainly couldn't have predicted such a kindling of camaraderie born from within the flames of baseball ferocity.
But then, a mere five days later, WooWoo returned to ask the monumental question on the lips of travelers everywhere: Is this true?? Can't non-Texans buy beer in the ballpark? WooWoo was to enjoy his time in Texas lubricated or else. Baseball, you see, is a talking sport. Never, though, was it said it had to be talked about with non-slurred speech.
Almost when his memory had begun to fade, WooWoo returned on May 1st to secure his legacy. When are we gonna get some pitching up in here isn't really a question or concern for the WooWoo, instead, he next asked himself and us, "Where am I gonna get a naked woman to gyrate up in here?" And thus, NudieGate was born. To nude, or not to nude? That was the question. One man, JeffWooWoo, had come and split a once flaccid community into factions. Battles raged. Alliances were formed. Topless women were discussed. Definitions of what exactly "enthusiastic" entailed were hashed out. In the wake of the hostilities, all had emerged enlightened. Though no one had been touched, as that was against the rules.
Days passed, however. No WooWoo in sight. WooWoo withdraws became palpable. When almost all hope was lost, WooWoo, on May 18th, came back to us with a rack of ribs and a case of Sweet Baby Ray's and humbly asked: How is tailgating before the Texas games? Nothing could have been more WooWoo.
WooWoo has left a lasting impression of a man, a conqueror, a relic to times passed. He wanted five things and five things alone:
- More Beer
- Naked Enthusiastic Woman
- And most importantly, Baseball
So here's to you JeffWooWoo. I officially announce today, May 27, 2010, as WooWoo Day at LSB. May the Rangers eventually defeat the Cubs mightily in many World Series to come.
In honor of WooWoo Day, I invite you to view this moving tribute video: