Josey Wales: The Movie (The sequel)
by benmor78 on Jun 25, 2010 11:40 AM CDT
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Like Quentin Tarantino, there's approximately 5 - 10 years between my movie releases. I hope you like my new effort, which is entitled "It's a Wonderful Lonestarball." I really feel like the guy playing me found the emotional "center" in this role. I want to take action - but my hands are tied! Just beautifully acted by that fellow. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy it.
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Wow.
That’s even better than the first one. Now I don’t want Josey to go away, because I can’t wait for volume 3 (in five years).
Not mediocre. Right about average
Awesome
I like the little dance the astronaut does.
Freude schöner Götterfunken, Tochter aus Elysium, Freude!
EPIC!!!
You hear about the "Electric Arms", they're all the rage.
"If the Rangers have marked improvement in 2010, I'm going to need to give JD credit." Josey Wales, Feb. 10, 2010 11:45 AM CST
I love this.
"...he’s subliterate and needs to have a cork on his fork to keep from hurting himself when he eats" - AJM on Ron Washington
by Anonymous New Guy on Jun 25, 2010 12:01 PM CDT reply actions
So awesome
"I was going to say, 'You’re gay for Elvis.' But then I realized that I, too, am gay for Elvis." ~Adam J. Morris.
Holy cow that's epic
So many great references. And the ending just killed me.
"LSJ is jealous that the M’s fans have a sucky team that they can whine and snark about. We’re stuck with a good team in first place." -- Adam Von Marriagesmasher
"I’m gonna go on record here and say a great many things excuse throwing a chair at someone." – D.A. Tron
Absolute genius...
I’m calling the Academy© right now.
Grieve: The Yanks have struggled so far. - Lewin: Yeah, cry me a bag of money.
ElectricOkra.com
Love it
"JD gets complete blame or credit for what happens in 2010 and I think Nolan wants it that way. JD is paid to be a real GM and needs to start performing like one." - Josey Wales
The sequel was better than the original.
"Don’t want to spend my night waiting in line unless it’s for more beer."
--EssBee, on LoneStarBall, Jan. 21, 2010
Absolutely
The original was amusing, but this, this…
Not mediocre. Right about average
The ending makes it.
Mike Olt - 2013 A.L. Rookie of the Year.
He declined to accept the award as to not show up his fellow rookies. Incentives earned from being named ROY were donated to a local charity. He did not report this donation on his tax return.
No I mean
Why isnt she making me dinner and hanging out with her friends, the broom and the dustpan?
Not exactly Godfather II but good
I’m mostly wondering if this is based on actual comments? I don’t think so unless it was really, really cut and pasted.
But I agree with the moral of the story.
"You promised me, Eckstein, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I noticed that during the most trying periods of my life, there have only been one set of prints in the sand. Why, when I have needed you most, have you not been there for me?" David Eckstein replied, "Because my little legs had gotten tired, and you were carrying me." And I looked down and saw that I was still carrying David Eckstein.
Then he grounded out weakly to second.
No, it's not based on actual comments.
It’s just a riff on It’s a Wonderful Life.
"Blalock in the cleanup spot makes gives me agita." - Dustin
Needs more rape whistle!!!
The 40 trumps all!
"WHY IS LIAM POPPINS STICKING. IT'S AN ABSURDLY BAD NICKNAME"
-LiamP(oppins)
by thedirkatron on Jun 28, 2010 9:48 PM CDT up reply actions
Pear whistle
"Josey drives to games??? I always assumed he rides in on his high horse" jam0152
"dirkatron has his own evaluation metric: rapes above replacement." AJM
Ah, yes... Sorry, I did forgettings.
The 40 trumps all!
"WHY IS LIAM POPPINS STICKING. IT'S AN ABSURDLY BAD NICKNAME"
-LiamP(oppins)
by thedirkatron on Jun 28, 2010 10:07 PM CDT up reply actions
Good job guy.
"Sometimes you just want to sit back and watch somebody throw 100." - Jeff Passan on Neftali Feliz
"Baseball's all that's real" - JB
Wow...
Hilarity at it’s finest
"Hell's frozen over, Pigs are flying! The Saints have won the Super Bowl"
Shreveport Captains in LSB H2H Fantasy League
haha
That was awesome!!!
http://www.examiner.com/x-50872-Dallas-Stars-Examiner
^ Updated often. Check back often for articles :)
Those movies are always hilarious if done well.
There was a series of them on Baylorfans back in the day about a poster who was very Josey-like in his effect on other posters. They were classic.
This was very good as well.
"When I want my men to remember something important, to really make it stick, I give it to them double dirty."- General George S. Patton
So is Little Brother a little bit more macho
in this one or is he Rip Taylor Redux?
"Dying ain't hard. It's living that's hard."
"The Influence continues." Josey Wales (1/18/10)
"Now run along, my question was for Jamey and not the diminutive, sawwed off little twerp from Arkansas who no longer sees the team up close."
isn't Rip Taylor the one who drunkenly attempted the rob a bank a few months ago
or was he the weird confetti guy from “Match Game?”
"Does this effectively hide my thunder?"
Rip Torn, Officer Bob.True greatness on The Larry Sanders Show.
Rip Taylor was the uber effeminate comedian on the old Tonight Show who would come out prancing while throwing out confetti on the audience.
There was never a doubt which team he played for…NTTAWWI.
"Dying ain't hard. It's living that's hard."
"The Influence continues." Josey Wales (1/18/10)
"Now run along, my question was for Jamey and not the diminutive, sawwed off little twerp from Arkansas who no longer sees the team up close."
by Josey Wales on Jun 25, 2010 11:56 PM CDT up reply actions
that's right
I remember when I read about Rip Torn doing that mess, I first thought he was Charles Nelson Riley. And I couldn’t stop laughing. Then I thought it was Rip Taylor, and all I could think about was a guy stumbling into a bank throwing confetti all over the place screaming “This is a robbery, bitches!” I always get Torn and Taylor confused.
"Does this effectively hide my thunder?"
The "actor" I chose to play me...
was Ghandi in their “historical figures” list. I’m not sure if Ghandi is gay or not.
"Blalock in the cleanup spot makes gives me agita." - Dustin
Thanks, my observation
was made before I saw your latest flick.
"Dying ain't hard. It's living that's hard."
"The Influence continues." Josey Wales (1/18/10)
"Now run along, my question was for Jamey and not the diminutive, sawwed off little twerp from Arkansas who no longer sees the team up close."
Come on, Josey...
“that’s gay” is so 1990.
"Blalock in the cleanup spot makes gives me agita." - Dustin
so is his baseball analysis
Freude schöner Götterfunken, Tochter aus Elysium, Freude!
by t ball on Jun 26, 2010 7:49 AM CDT up reply actions 9 recs
When I think of Ben
I think of Ghandi, so it all works out.
"Look, we're basically on earth to shit and fuck. So unless your job's to help people shit or fuck, it's not that important, so relax."-https://twitter.com/shitmydadsays
Truly outstanding.
"Take all that clubhouse [stuff] and all that, throw it out the window. Every writer in the country has been writing about that [nonsense] for years. Chemistry don't mean [anything]." - Jim Leyland
It is hilarious yet at the same time somewhat pathetic that I get these inside jokes.
we're from Texas
CJ says "Relax"
x
“We’ve been coming to the same party for the last 12 years now – and in no way is that depressing!”
"Take all that clubhouse [stuff] and all that, throw it out the window. Every writer in the country has been writing about that [nonsense] for years. Chemistry don't mean [anything]." - Jim Leyland
Fuck
all forms of soccer.
"Dying ain't hard. It's living that's hard."
"The Influence continues." Josey Wales (1/18/10)
"Now run along, my question was for Jamey and not the diminutive, sawwed off little twerp from Arkansas who no longer sees the team up close."
by Josey Wales on Jun 26, 2010 1:40 PM CDT up reply actions 2 recs
Even Foosball?
"Sometimes you just want to sit back and watch somebody throw 100." - Jeff Passan on Neftali Feliz
"Baseball's all that's real" - JB
THE NEXT STEP
TAKE IT
The 40 trumps all!
"WHY IS LIAM POPPINS STICKING. IT'S AN ABSURDLY BAD NICKNAME"
-LiamP(oppins)
by thedirkatron on Jun 28, 2010 9:49 PM CDT up reply actions
Pure...
genius. My favorite line was the Max Ramirez-Kenny Lofton joke.
"Are you watching this? The Rangers are not good, they're great!..." -Skip Bayless
The Jamey/Buffalo Bill
reference seals this one. 5 stars and oscar worthy.
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
Why the hell did it take me so long to click this and see what all the fuss was about? Epic.
Pitching coach Mike Maddux on Darren Oliver’s 0.00 ERA this spring:
"Economical work. He ain’t getting paid by the hour."
He's a beating.
But in true “It’s a Wonderful Life” fashion, Rangers100 / TexasDawg came along and showed us that Josey, in the big scheme of things, isn’t that bad.
"Blalock in the cleanup spot makes gives me agita." - Dustin
Yes, yes.
Yes.
PENIS.
The 40 trumps all!
"WHY IS LIAM POPPINS STICKING. IT'S AN ABSURDLY BAD NICKNAME"
-LiamP(oppins)
Pen15 club
"Josey drives to games??? I always assumed he rides in on his high horse" jam0152
"dirkatron has his own evaluation metric: rapes above replacement." AJM
Are you going to do the community prospect rankings this summer?
by Adam J. Morris on Jun 28, 2010 10:02 PM CDT up reply actions
I'd like to.
Why?
Are you gonna do hates on me about that, too?
The 40 trumps all!
"WHY IS LIAM POPPINS STICKING. IT'S AN ABSURDLY BAD NICKNAME"
-LiamP(oppins)
by thedirkatron on Jun 28, 2010 10:06 PM CDT up reply actions
Just wondering when it would kick off
by Adam J. Morris on Jun 28, 2010 10:31 PM CDT up reply actions
Last year started around the beginning of the month of July.
Figured we’d keep it like that.
The 40 trumps all!
"WHY IS LIAM POPPINS STICKING. IT'S AN ABSURDLY BAD NICKNAME"
-LiamP(oppins)
by thedirkatron on Jun 28, 2010 10:37 PM CDT up reply actions
Funny sub-thread.
From yelling PENIS, to a very demure, “I’d like to. Why?” Ending with the facts.
'Waiting for a girl and she gets me into fights
Waiting for a girl we get drunk on Friday night'
Ted Lilly Game Score of 64 in last start
Troy Glaus .950 OPS in month of June.
"Dying ain't hard. It's living that's hard."
"The Influence continues." Josey Wales (1/18/10)
"Now run along, my question was for Jamey and not the diminutive, sawwed off little twerp from Arkansas who no longer sees the team up close."
Kris Medlen has a 3.85 xFIP in June
And Aubrey Huff has a .990 OPS on the month.
Wait, this is the subthread where we announce the recent performances of totally unrelated players who nobody here cares anything about, right?
"Take all that clubhouse [stuff] and all that, throw it out the window. Every writer in the country has been writing about that [nonsense] for years. Chemistry don't mean [anything]." - Jim Leyland
What was his game score
when he got his shit stomped by the Angels in June? You failed to mention that one…
"calmer than you are dude" Walter (Big Lebowski)
"Hello Win Column!!!"
by Arlington Stadium Legend on Jun 29, 2010 7:06 AM CDT up reply actions
The Silence was deafening
"LSJ is jealous that the M’s fans have a sucky team that they can whine and snark about. We’re stuck with a good team in first place." -- Adam Von Marriagesmasher
"I’m gonna go on record here and say a great many things excuse throwing a chair at someone." – D.A. Tron
His GS v the Angels was 26
but he put up a salty 82 v the White Sox before that.
Last six starts Game Scores – 73, 57, 78, 82, 26, 64.
I’ll take the 26 Game Score if the other 5 Game Scores average 70.8.
"Dying ain't hard. It's living that's hard."
"The Influence continues." Josey Wales (1/18/10)
"Now run along, my question was for Jamey and not the diminutive, sawwed off little twerp from Arkansas who no longer sees the team up close."
If that 26 is against the Angels
I don’t want any part of it.
By 2028, Mark Teixeira will be in the HOF.
"I am one of the biggest Texas Ranger fans out there but I'm also one of the smartest. Deal with it."
-The Outlaw
He'd be an ok pickup
for a team looking for a league average innings guy. His BaBIP against is an unsustainable .243, and his FIP and xFIP are both higher than Scott Feldman’s and indicate a close to league average pitcher. Great time to sell high for the Cubs.
Freude schöner Götterfunken, Tochter aus Elysium, Freude!
Stick the xFIP up your ass.
Ted Lilly rocked a Game Score of 65 tonight.
"Dying ain't hard. It's living that's hard."
"The Influence continues." Josey Wales (1/18/10)
"Now run along, my question was for Jamey and not the diminutive, sawwed off little twerp from Arkansas who no longer sees the team up close."
by Josey Wales on Jun 30, 2010 12:38 AM CDT up reply actions
Yay, beat those Pirates!
The heart of a champion, I tell ya.
Freude schöner Götterfunken, Tochter aus Elysium, Freude!
And yet...
Colbyashi and Vlad are still far better signings.
JD wins this battle.
Time for you to heal.
"The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance."-Socrates
Actually
JD chose signing VPadilla to a 3 year / $ 34 million contract, Kenny Lofton ($ 6 million) & Eric Gagne ($ 8 million) instead of Ted Lilly (4 years / $ 40 million).
That mistake was compounded by the JD fuck up in trading John Danks for Brandon McCarthy.
Time for you to learn your history, Atheist.
"Dying ain't hard. It's living that's hard."
"The Influence continues." Josey Wales (1/18/10)
"Now run along, my question was for Jamey and not the diminutive, sawwed off little twerp from Arkansas who no longer sees the team up close."
Yep...
and JD is responsible for almost every player on this roster right now, as well as all the kids that will come up in the next few years.
This team has the second best record in baseball, and JD is a huge reason for that. There isn’t a GM in the league who hasn’t made a mistake. However JD’s positives far out weight the negatives. You need to deal with it.
Time for you to learn to accept you were wrong about him and enjoy the future success of this franchise.
"The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance."-Socrates
Problem is that JD has that pesky track record from 2005-2008
that sits on his resume like a big squirty pile of dogshit and he’ll never get credit for the turnaround because it didn’t happen until Massive Changes were Implemented.
"Dying ain't hard. It's living that's hard."
"The Influence continues." Josey Wales (1/18/10)
"Now run along, my question was for Jamey and not the diminutive, sawwed off little twerp from Arkansas who no longer sees the team up close."
by Josey Wales on Jun 29, 2010 11:18 AM CDT up reply actions
Let the healing being old fart
"Josey drives to games??? I always assumed he rides in on his high horse" jam0152
"dirkatron has his own evaluation metric: rapes above replacement." AJM
The proof is in the playoffs.
We’ll know the true answer in a few months.
In the meantime, we finally have some very good contending regular season baseball.
Only took 5 years
and a HOF (who knew what the hell he was doing) to hold JD’s hand and show him what to do.
"Dying ain't hard. It's living that's hard."
"The Influence continues." Josey Wales (1/18/10)
"Now run along, my question was for Jamey and not the diminutive, sawwed off little twerp from Arkansas who no longer sees the team up close."
by Josey Wales on Jun 29, 2010 12:52 PM CDT up reply actions
Yes
and it is an embarassing mark on Josey’s posting resume
"calmer than you are dude" Walter (Big Lebowski)
"Hello Win Column!!!"
by Arlington Stadium Legend on Jun 29, 2010 2:36 PM CDT up reply actions
Correction
and it is an embarassing mark onJosey’s posting resumeLSB
"Josey drives to games??? I always assumed he rides in on his high horse" jam0152
"dirkatron has his own evaluation metric: rapes above replacement." AJM
So you like JD's 2005-2008 track record?
That 2008 season (consequences of JD’s work before Nolan arrived) was an abortion and it’s easy to see why we had another losing record and why the fans turned their backs on the product (attendance was the lowest in 20 years).
OT – Apparently Hodson, the sawed-off little NMLR fidget who also sucks off Tom Hicks in public whenever he can, does indeed lurk LSB.
He alerted everybody at NMLR about Little Brother’s masterpiece.
"Dying ain't hard. It's living that's hard."
"The Influence continues." Josey Wales (1/18/10)
"Now run along, my question was for Jamey and not the diminutive, sawwed off little twerp from Arkansas who no longer sees the team up close."
by Josey Wales on Jun 30, 2010 11:45 AM CDT up reply actions
THE NEXT STEP
TAKE IT
The 40 trumps all!
"WHY IS LIAM POPPINS STICKING. IT'S AN ABSURDLY BAD NICKNAME"
-LiamP(oppins)
by thedirkatron on Jun 30, 2010 5:00 PM CDT up reply actions
New shtick...ask Santa.
And trim the fucking beard while we’re at it, ya hobo.
"Dying ain't hard. It's living that's hard."
"The Influence continues." Josey Wales (1/18/10)
"Now run along, my question was for Jamey and not the diminutive, sawwed off little twerp from Arkansas who no longer sees the team up close."
by Josey Wales on Jun 30, 2010 11:11 PM CDT up reply actions
THE NEXT STEP
TAKE IT
The 40 trumps all!
"WHY IS LIAM POPPINS STICKING. IT'S AN ABSURDLY BAD NICKNAME"
-LiamP(oppins)
Oh irony, how I love thee
New shtick…ask Santa.
by Josey Wales on Jun 30, 2010 9:11 PM PDT
"LSJ is jealous that the M’s fans have a sucky team that they can whine and snark about. We’re stuck with a good team in first place." -- Adam Von Marriagesmasher
"I’m gonna go on record here and say a great many things excuse throwing a chair at someone." – D.A. Tron
holy shit
that little dance move he does after “glorious, glorious I tell you”… well, it made my day. How am I just now watching this?
"Drinks are on me if Lewis posts >168IP and an era lower than 3.86." by RangerMad on Jan 20, 2010 12:36 PM PST
You saw Josey Wales and ran
"Josey drives to games??? I always assumed he rides in on his high horse" jam0152
"dirkatron has his own evaluation metric: rapes above replacement." AJM
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