Cataloguing the bizarre things that have happened this season
by Adam J. Morris on Aug 24, 2010 9:50 PM CDT
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PrintI've decided we need to make a list of all the really, really weird things that have happened this season.
This list, of course, is prompted by tonight's epicfail by the parachuter.
So we have...
1) Pre-game parachuter gets hung up on flagpole
2) Boy gets interviewed during a game because he has a mantis on his head
3) Bengie Molina hits for the cycle
4) Game is delayed because of a car on the field in Milwaukee
5) Dustin Nippert removed from the game because of a line drive to the head
6) The whole bankruptcy saga
7) Game delayed because guy falls out of the upper deck on his head. And lives.
8) Eric Byrnes misses a squeeze bunt, flees the clubhouse afterwards on a bicycle, and then is released.
9) Khalil Greene is signed, but never shows up for spring training because of anxiety issues.
10) Jon Daniels dyes his hair because he loses a bet with Elvis Andrus.
11) Jarrod Saltalamacchia, opening day catcher, ends up getting the "yips"
12) Two pitchers who were not allowed in the U.S. for half a decade are allowed back early in 2010, and end up contributing to the major league team
13) Grown man mashes kid into fence while going after home run on Green's Hill. Gives kid ball. Kid gets interviewed, is named fan of the game, and gives fan of the game prize to guy who mashed him into the fence.
14) Ron Washington admits to testing positive to cocaine.
15) @TagDontTweet is mentioned by Josh and Tom on the air.
16) Josh Lewin and Chuck Greenberg each visit LSB.
17) Colby Lewis sees a ghost in Milwaukee the night before his start.
18) Game delayed in Houston because someone was shining a laser pointer at Scott Feldman.
19) Jim Knox wipes out on a skateboard.
What else? I will add to the list as I get good suggestions.
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Not to rehash this...
Mark Cuban throwing his hat in the ring and going toe-to-toe against Nolan Ryan and fellow Pittsburgh guy Chuck Greenberg.
The auction taking 15 hours.
12 threads / 7,000 comments
Bob Simpson shows up at the courthouse like the Texas Millionaire on the Simpsons and seals the deal just before 1am.
It's baseball. You don't always get what you want, and you don't always want what you get. --Ed Coffin
The way the auction synchronized to the game was pretty bizarre.
Big homerun → big Greenberg bid.
Insurance runs → Cuban bowing out.
Dude falling from upper deck = not weird
Dude falling from upper deck and surviving? Now that’s weird.
"there's no money in triples" - CJ, 3.23.10
How can you say a man falling 30 feet from one deck to the next is not weird?
It is unusual, weird, and horrifying – amongst a variety of other adjectives.
"...like some Russian priest fresh off a bottle of potato vodka and a box of cigars." -t ball
by rangerdanger on Aug 25, 2010 9:31 AM CDT up reply actions
Joaquin Arias almost finding a way...
To stay with the ball club for an entire season
Matt (Denver, CO): Congratulations, I heard you won a gold glove!
Klaw (1:18 PM) : Thanks, I had a great year at the plate!
I think Jason Heyward is ready to be promoted to the AL. He’s mastered the NL - Matthew Carruth
Now Taking Suggestions for New Username
Sad thing is
He will get a WS ring
"The 2010 Rangers...winning despite Ron Washington"
In the interest of quicker games Ron should just tell the ump he's pulling the Feliz card and the ump should rule the inning over.--Sherman McCoy on Sept. 4, 2009
In his defense, you are a retarded cuntbag by LiamP on Mar 4, 2010
why is that sad?
I would give Chan freaking Ho freaking Park a Ring if it means winning a World Series
by blueballlefty on Aug 24, 2010 10:41 PM CDT up reply actions
That reminds me
of some of the weird things that were pretended to happen after the Red Sox won the 2004 world Series.
Guy getting his arm cut off.
Kids given away, etc.
testicals removed.
Mal: Well, quite a lot of fuss. If I didn't know better, I'd think we were dangerous.
both up "the stink"?
"...like some Russian priest fresh off a bottle of potato vodka and a box of cigars." -t ball
by rangerdanger on Aug 25, 2010 11:52 PM CDT up reply actions
Bizarre things
(Not necessarily weird, but bizarre)
1. Knox skateboard fail
2. Medusa showing up again
3. Eric Byrnes squeeze bunt fail
4. Scott Feldman starting on opening day
Note that googling “lonestarball” and “bizarre” produces over 7,000 results.
"there's no money in triples" - CJ, 3.23.10
Yeah...
Knox on the skateboard is all-time.
by ghostofErikThompson on Aug 24, 2010 11:16 PM CDT up reply actions 2 recs
What is even weirder
is we found out that TxStCa actually works in the same building as Medusa – and has the pics to prove it. No shit.
"...like some Russian priest fresh off a bottle of potato vodka and a box of cigars." -t ball
by rangerdanger on Aug 25, 2010 9:34 AM CDT up reply actions
um,
well then he works in the building next to her. He saw her outside at a fire drill and took pics.
"...like some Russian priest fresh off a bottle of potato vodka and a box of cigars." -t ball
by rangerdanger on Aug 31, 2010 11:50 AM CDT up reply actions
SHE CAME BACK?????
Scout: He was a first-round pick right? Got a huge bonus?
KG: Oh yeah.
Scout: Well, he spent a lot of it on milkshakes.
by knockoutking on Aug 25, 2010 10:33 AM CDT up reply actions
How did I miss all this?
Was it last week? I was on vacation.
"It’s Advil and beef in the Texas Rangers, you yankee bastard."
- Nolan Ryan
She's been seen a couple of times....
I walked right by her at a game earlier this season…… / shudders /
Ball....toss.....antlers....
by GhostofSteveFoucault on Aug 25, 2010 3:48 PM CDT up reply actions
I sat 15 feet from her when we played the White Sox
Lots of people were taking pics of her
Yeah, well, sometimes nothin' can be a real cool hand.
by Texas Jihad on Aug 25, 2010 11:24 PM CDT up reply actions
I'd fuck her.
Just for the experience of fucking something that bizarre.
"It’s Advil and beef in the Texas Rangers, you yankee bastard."
- Nolan Ryan
by Flynnyrd on Aug 26, 2010 9:38 AM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
WOW.
Just, wow.
"...like some Russian priest fresh off a bottle of potato vodka and a box of cigars." -t ball
by rangerdanger on Aug 26, 2010 9:39 AM CDT up reply actions
UIF is too anxious to play baseball
Look at the comments under Jeff Wilson's blog post on dallasnews.com. What a bunch of rocket scientists.- Keith Law
Did you call the hypothetical hardware store and buy a theoretical chain saw?
The Rangers traded Smoak and others
for the best pitcher in the league.
"Evolution happened, now get over it." Michael Shermer
That part of the story makes is all the more wonderful to me....
Ball....toss.....antlers....
by GhostofSteveFoucault on Aug 25, 2010 9:04 AM CDT up reply actions
Right as Big Stein dies, too
Making us all wonder what might have happened if Big Stein was still in charge and capable of firing people for losing Lee to the lowly Rangers.
THE RANGERS ARE FULL OF UNBELIEVEABLE SUCK GIVE UP NOW IT DOES NOT MATTER GOOD BYE.
"It has been said that baseball is to the United States what revolutions are to Latin America, a safety valve for letting off steam. I think baseball is more serious than any Latin American revolution. But, then, I am a serious fan." -- George F. Will
I read that as Ben Stein and wondered how I missed that.
by Past A Diving Michael Young on Aug 25, 2010 3:53 PM CDT up reply actions
SHIT!
ME TOO DUDE! I was like “Ben Stein is dead?!? Well that effing sucks. I always loved Ben Stein.”
"...like some Russian priest fresh off a bottle of potato vodka and a box of cigars." -t ball
by rangerdanger on Aug 25, 2010 11:50 PM CDT up reply actions
Jon Daniels loses a bet with Elvis
because we won 11 games in a row.
"Evolution happened, now get over it." Michael Shermer
Saltalamacchia's downfall due to the Yips
I don’t always have sex with men…but when I do, I prefer Josh Hamilton. - AJM
I just love the picture...
…in my mind of Eric Byrnes on his bicycle really mad.
Follow me on Twitter @ontherangers
by Brandon Wilson on Aug 24, 2010 10:25 PM CDT reply actions
no kidding
"Sometimes you just want to sit back and watch somebody throw 100." - Jeff Passan on Neftali Feliz
"Baseball's all that's real" - JB
by Cecilio's Guante on Aug 24, 2010 10:26 PM CDT up reply actions
said it before and I'll say it again...the biggest travesty of 2010 is that no video or photos of that were captured...
"Sometimes you just want to sit back and watch somebody throw 100." - Jeff Passan on Neftali Feliz
"Baseball's all that's real" - JB
by Cecilio's Guante on Aug 24, 2010 10:27 PM CDT up reply actions
Byrnes
We need to get the Taiwanese news animators on the case. They did a bang up job with Elin vs. Tiger and the Jet Blue guy.
Not mediocre. Right about average
They also tried the Australian federal election, with equal portions of hilarity
involving an AK-47, wrestling and Kevin Rudd getting kicked off of a cloud in the sky
Remember to retire Fin's number, Mark.
I'd like to see him riding off set to the ending music from the old Hulk TV show.
The Texas Rangers have been synonymous with explosive firepower ever since they emptied 130 rounds into Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow in 1934. - Alyssa Milano
I don't know if this counts
But Rich Harden’s Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde routine over and over again is pretty bizarre.
Not mediocre. Right about average
especially
considering that now both starters of that game are now Rangers.
Mal: Well, quite a lot of fuss. If I didn't know better, I'd think we were dangerous.
Now would be a good time to compose an alternative list of LSB memes
going off that unofficial list from earlier.
Remember to retire Fin's number, Mark.
Curious
is Colby Lewis now the best Japanese import pitcher since Hideo Nomo?
If so:
COlby Lewis being the best Japanese import pitcher since Hideo Nomo.
"If the Saints can reach the Superbowl, the Rangers can reach the World Series." - PhilKid
The Animated Ballpark in Arlington
by FirebatM3 on Aug 24, 2010 10:32 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
wasn't there a game colby lewis won completely on his own?
pitched a gem and also drove in several runs…
I can't stand people who are intolerant of other people's taste in music or people who like Nickelback.
jes
Genesis 1: 3-4 (Rangers Edition): And JD said "Let there be Lee," and there was Lee. And JD saw the Lee, that it was good: and JD divided the Rangers from the Angels. by Aquaman56
"Josey drives to games??? I always assumed he rides in on his high horse" jam0152
"dirkatron has his own evaluation metric: rapes above replacement." AJM
That Mariner's fan passing away
The one they always get a shot of on the tv broadcast. It’s not weird, but it’s certainly sad, and pretty significant.
That's why they call them business sox
Doh.
"...like some Russian priest fresh off a bottle of potato vodka and a box of cigars." -t ball
by rangerdanger on Aug 25, 2010 9:36 AM CDT up reply actions
yeah, he was a consistent piece of any broadcast in Seattle
much more enjoyable than the train
by kevinkinsler on Aug 26, 2010 8:07 AM CDT up reply actions
TagDon'tTweet mentioned on TV
"Jurick Profar is tired of practice!! I wanna play I wanna play….waiting for march 12 to go to spring training! to kill some pichers:D:D I am Jurickson Profar son of judeska and chesmond.. And I was born ready! ready to play baseball!!" - Jurickson Profar
Damn right.
"He recently scored as high as an 8.5 on the Ryin A Scale of Douchebaggery." -Ryan A on the douchebag that is Kevin Millar
by TagDon'tTweet on Aug 25, 2010 10:37 AM CDT up reply actions
Was it bizarre to have Josh Lewin come in and tell us to keep the swearing down?
"Jurick Profar is tired of practice!! I wanna play I wanna play….waiting for march 12 to go to spring training! to kill some pichers:D:D I am Jurickson Profar son of judeska and chesmond.. And I was born ready! ready to play baseball!!" - Jurickson Profar
by chrisR on Aug 24, 2010 10:46 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
It's still weird.
"...like some Russian priest fresh off a bottle of potato vodka and a box of cigars." -t ball
by rangerdanger on Aug 26, 2010 9:45 AM CDT up reply actions
A few more...
Even though most of my suggestions have already been mentioned…
1) Cristian Guzman initially blocks a trade to the Rangers, eventually changes his mind, goes 3-34 with a .224 OPS, then goes on the DL…
2) Kendry Morales—the Angels best hitter—goes down for the year in the middle of celebrating a walk-off grand slam.
3) Most recently, the Colin Cowherd fiasco, in which an ESPN personality actually accuses Cliff Lee of tanking games while pitching for the Rangers.
by txtwstr7 on Aug 24, 2010 10:54 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
A few more things
The Marlins game with a Borbon walk followed by Treanor hitting a triple is about as bizarre as Molina’s cycle.
Wash’s cocaine admission in spring training belongs.
That Boston game with all the steals, and then losing anyway. ugh
CJ hitting what is surely the best case scenario any of us could have laid out before the season.
Harden so far has a better W-L than Lee as a Ranger despite a FIP more than twice as high.
Freude schöner Götterfunken, Tochter aus Elysium, Freude!
Agreed on Treanor
Also, Ogando’s base hit in his only AB.
by Outworlder47 on Aug 24, 2010 11:01 PM CDT up reply actions
That Boston game was terrible, forgot all about it...yuck
`
"Sometimes you just want to sit back and watch somebody throw 100." - Jeff Passan on Neftali Feliz
"Baseball's all that's real" - JB
by Cecilio's Guante on Aug 25, 2010 7:29 AM CDT up reply actions
Vlads infield hits
Hamilton scoring on the infield hit.
by RangerDC on Aug 24, 2010 11:04 PM CDT reply actions 2 recs
Not just scoring...
…but from second base!
"I said I got this guy out a couple of times already, I get him out historically and I really need to work on my neck tan," -- CJ Wilson getting pulled with 2 out in the 8th.
Chuck Greenberg posting on LSB.
"Fuck Tom Hicks. There is no aspect of my baseball universe that man hasn't shit on."
"and to Adam J. Morris and the Lone Star Ball regulars; go fuck yourself."- cmkelly29
by TooLegitToQuit on Aug 24, 2010 11:08 PM CDT reply actions
Yes...
I’m glad this is being cataloged. Let’s write a book about this season, Adam.
by ghostofErikThompson on Aug 24, 2010 11:09 PM CDT reply actions
Your animated gifs
can help us remember this awesome season.
The walk offs home runs, the sleeping kids in the stands, Jim Knox vs. the skateboard
It's baseball. You don't always get what you want, and you don't always want what you get. --Ed Coffin
No, I think I rate it appropriately.
Nice idea, never happen.
"...like some Russian priest fresh off a bottle of potato vodka and a box of cigars." -t ball
by rangerdanger on Aug 26, 2010 9:46 AM CDT up reply actions
If he writes it now
he can pull a Mitch Albom and write two endings.
I count myself as an LSBer and if I need to hate myself more than I already do, I need to be aware of why. ~ Evan Grant
by Jose Cardenal on Aug 25, 2010 10:53 AM CDT up reply actions
You'd sell so many if you could release it the day after we won the series
And it wouldn’t matter how good/bad it was
AKA BuckyB
Didn't he post .5 WAR in one game?
If so, that’s pretty bizarre.
by blakethegr8 on Aug 24, 2010 11:14 PM CDT up reply actions
Yes...
The Josh Hamilton game. While not bizarre really, was really memorable.
by ghostofErikThompson on Aug 24, 2010 11:17 PM CDT up reply actions
No, bizarre is the word.
Amazing,
Fantastic.
In-humane.
Ridiculous.
God-like.
Josh Hamilton. EOM.
"I don't really like pitchers." - Nelson Cruz
Oh dude...
Colby’s Ghost in Milwaukee!
by ghostofErikThompson on Aug 24, 2010 11:19 PM CDT reply actions
Ha!
"Fuck Tom Hicks. There is no aspect of my baseball universe that man hasn't shit on."
"and to Adam J. Morris and the Lone Star Ball regulars; go fuck yourself."- cmkelly29
by TooLegitToQuit on Aug 24, 2010 11:41 PM CDT up reply actions 5 recs
Yes, yes, yes!
I've been trying to convince my family of the magic of cumin. They won't listen to me. It makes almost everything better.- PhilKid3, 8/16/2010.
by Aquaman, Esq. on Aug 24, 2010 11:42 PM CDT up reply actions
Probably in my top 5 favorite photoshops on this site ever
by blakethegr8 on Aug 24, 2010 11:44 PM CDT up reply actions
He looks so excited and curious...
by ghostofErikThompson on Aug 24, 2010 11:47 PM CDT up reply actions
I hear him thinking
“Think about baseball. Think about baseball. Think about baseball.”
by blakethegr8 on Aug 24, 2010 11:51 PM CDT up reply actions
whats the story w/ this
Scout: He was a first-round pick right? Got a huge bonus?
KG: Oh yeah.
Scout: Well, he spent a lot of it on milkshakes.
by knockoutking on Aug 25, 2010 10:35 AM CDT up reply actions
I have not heard this either.
I am interested. Any links?
"...like some Russian priest fresh off a bottle of potato vodka and a box of cigars." -t ball
by rangerdanger on Aug 25, 2010 11:27 AM CDT up reply actions
Must have been discussed during the game.
Here is the game day thread where it started.
It's baseball. You don't always get what you want, and you don't always want what you get. --Ed Coffin
The laser pointer...
on Scott Feldman in Houston.
by ghostofErikThompson on Aug 24, 2010 11:22 PM CDT reply actions
The antlers and claw...
aren’t bizarre really, but they are unique and an unusual part of this season.
by ghostofErikThompson on Aug 24, 2010 11:25 PM CDT reply actions
Yes.
Greatness. But we have to stay on topic – are they weird? I think as far as baseball traditions and routines go – an argument could be made.
"...like some Russian priest fresh off a bottle of potato vodka and a box of cigars." -t ball
by rangerdanger on Aug 25, 2010 9:39 AM CDT up reply actions
yea
this needs to be included
Scout: He was a first-round pick right? Got a huge bonus?
KG: Oh yeah.
Scout: Well, he spent a lot of it on milkshakes.
by knockoutking on Aug 25, 2010 10:35 AM CDT up reply actions
"Pears"
And Joeactor’s FanPosts
"Don't confuse the outcome that a decision produces with the intelligence that went into making that decision."--Tony LaRussa
and NONE of those things is as bizarre as last year
when young C.J. Ramsey caught not one but TWO foul balls in the same Josh Hamilton AB.
We will see 3 more Benji Molina cycles before we see that again.
Greatest Inventions Ever? 1. TiVO, 2. Boobs, 3. Baseball
The eric byrnes story is one of those stories that are funny everytime I hear it.
I'm just goofin' new boot goofin'
oh and that time at Suite Night on 8/28
when Adam and Ben posed for a picture with an unsuspecting Chuck Greenberg in which both of them sneaked glances at Chuck’s junk with Ben holding up his hands about 10 inches apart.
Greatest Inventions Ever? 1. TiVO, 2. Boobs, 3. Baseball
I haven't seen this pic.
I would like to.
"...like some Russian priest fresh off a bottle of potato vodka and a box of cigars." -t ball
by rangerdanger on Aug 25, 2010 9:40 AM CDT up reply actions
This pic needs to happen.
"The Angels are like the villain in the movie that isn't dead until he's been stabbed 150 times in the bath tub, yet he still might come back up one more time." - Eric Nadel
Ron Washington and the coke thing. Guess it was too obvious
Plus keeping his job ala Marion Barry.
Which, I was in favor of btw.
here's a strange one:
I was cleaning out my car with my son on Sunday for the first time in like a year (I know…filthy vehicle), and I found underneath my passenger seat the Happy Meal toy from the Kung Fu Panda movie – MANTIS.
A couple hours later, Mantis is all over the broadcast and a few days later, we are 3-0 post-Mantis.
I have a new good luck charm. He will be coming to the playoffs with me.
Greatest Inventions Ever? 1. TiVO, 2. Boobs, 3. Baseball
by willamos2 on Aug 25, 2010 12:14 AM CDT reply actions 5 recs
Mantisings
Genesis 1: 3-4 (Rangers Edition): And JD said "Let there be Lee," and there was Lee. And JD saw the Lee, that it was good: and JD divided the Rangers from the Angels. by Aquaman56
"Josey drives to games??? I always assumed he rides in on his high horse" jam0152
"dirkatron has his own evaluation metric: rapes above replacement." AJM
Ha!
"Fuck Tom Hicks. There is no aspect of my baseball universe that man hasn't shit on."
"and to Adam J. Morris and the Lone Star Ball regulars; go fuck yourself."- cmkelly29
by TooLegitToQuit on Aug 25, 2010 12:50 AM CDT reply actions 4 recs
"I did not have lullaby relations with that girl"
I'm just goofin' new boot goofin'
by iorange555 on Aug 25, 2010 1:36 AM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
That reminds me
I don’t always have sex with men…but when I do, I prefer Josh Hamilton. - AJM
by LSJ on Aug 25, 2010 2:22 AM CDT up reply actions 4 recs
I was so fascinated with the girl...
..that I didn’t notice the complete and total creepazoid to her left until someone else mentioned him. I’m convinced he’s an alien.
what about the alien to her right
who is wearing his sunglasses so that the eyes on the back of his head are covered?
Greatest Inventions Ever? 1. TiVO, 2. Boobs, 3. Baseball
this isn't as I remember it...
I thought he leanded in to kiss her and you could clearly read her lips saying “no.”
"...like some Russian priest fresh off a bottle of potato vodka and a box of cigars." -t ball
by rangerdanger on Aug 25, 2010 9:42 AM CDT up reply actions
watch the guy on the right's expressions
reminds me of charlie’s on the hundred dollar baby episode of always sunny after taking roids when hes eating in the bar
Scout: He was a first-round pick right? Got a huge bonus?
KG: Oh yeah.
Scout: Well, he spent a lot of it on milkshakes.
by knockoutking on Aug 25, 2010 10:37 AM CDT up reply actions
This one and the sleeping girl
Best .gifs of the year, and that’s saying something.
By 2028, Mark Teixeira will be in the HOF.
"I am one of the biggest Texas Ranger fans out there but I'm also one of the smartest. Deal with it."
-The Outlaw
Nah
That home run melee of the kid getting plastered up against the railing is better than sleeping girl.
"...like some Russian priest fresh off a bottle of potato vodka and a box of cigars." -t ball
by rangerdanger on Aug 25, 2010 11:29 AM CDT up reply actions
My fave is Blanco pointing at/mocking the Detroit cop, while Elvis bounces around like a kangaroo.
'Waiting for a girl and she gets me into fights
Waiting for a girl we get drunk on Friday night'
by scoop16 on Aug 25, 2010 11:35 AM CDT up reply actions 5 recs
Oh yeah that is so epic.
"...like some Russian priest fresh off a bottle of potato vodka and a box of cigars." -t ball
by rangerdanger on Aug 25, 2010 12:22 PM CDT up reply actions
It is wheels off dugout celebrating
at it’s finest. Hopefully the right person reads this…
"...like some Russian priest fresh off a bottle of potato vodka and a box of cigars." -t ball
by rangerdanger on Aug 25, 2010 2:40 PM CDT up reply actions
so, so, so great
"Sometimes you just want to sit back and watch somebody throw 100." - Jeff Passan on Neftali Feliz
"Baseball's all that's real" - JB
by Cecilio's Guante on Aug 25, 2010 5:52 PM CDT up reply actions
Thank you.
Holy shit, that’s awesome.
'Waiting for a girl and she gets me into fights
Waiting for a girl we get drunk on Friday night'
cause you know that Detroit cop was talking shit to them the whole game...
"Sometimes you just want to sit back and watch somebody throw 100." - Jeff Passan on Neftali Feliz
"Baseball's all that's real" - JB
by Cecilio's Guante on Aug 26, 2010 9:01 AM CDT up reply actions
we need a 10 min version of this on youtube
much like the “I ALREADY WORK AROUND THE CLOCK” video….
Scout: He was a first-round pick right? Got a huge bonus?
KG: Oh yeah.
Scout: Well, he spent a lot of it on milkshakes.
by knockoutking on Aug 26, 2010 10:34 AM CDT up reply actions
"Fuck Tom Hicks. There is no aspect of my baseball universe that man hasn't shit on."
"and to Adam J. Morris and the Lone Star Ball regulars; go fuck yourself."- cmkelly29
by TooLegitToQuit on Aug 25, 2010 3:53 PM CDT up reply actions
Ultra Hyped Guy in Centerfield is my favorite.
by FuturePants on Aug 25, 2010 11:40 AM CDT up reply actions
Didn't we decide that that gif
was from the ’09 season?
"...like some Russian priest fresh off a bottle of potato vodka and a box of cigars." -t ball
by rangerdanger on Aug 25, 2010 12:23 PM CDT up reply actions
Timeless it is
Genesis 1: 3-4 (Rangers Edition): And JD said "Let there be Lee," and there was Lee. And JD saw the Lee, that it was good: and JD divided the Rangers from the Angels. by Aquaman56
"Josey drives to games??? I always assumed he rides in on his high horse" jam0152
"dirkatron has his own evaluation metric: rapes above replacement." AJM
by RangersSD on Aug 25, 2010 2:45 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
It was from the night Hank Blalock...
hit a walk off homer against the Angels in ’09 to pull the Rangers to within a game.
by ghostofErikThompson on Aug 25, 2010 3:22 PM CDT up reply actions
Jon -
Is this gif in reverse? I could swear that in the original the guys are reversed and blondie with the sunglasses is on the girl’s left and leans into his right to kiss her…
"...like some Russian priest fresh off a bottle of potato vodka and a box of cigars." -t ball
by rangerdanger on Aug 25, 2010 12:50 PM CDT up reply actions
I think a reversed and photoshopped version was floating around,
but I think this is the original one. After all, they’re all using their right hands to hold their drink/eat, and the majority of people are right-handed.
The photoshopped version is reversed and involves the great Nyjer Morgan.
GoET made it.
"I don't really like pitchers." - Nelson Cruz
Yes...
That’s the original. Here’s the reversed one I made for the Nyjer thread:
I wonder if Nyjer Morgan knows that thread exists.
by ghostofErikThompson on Aug 25, 2010 3:25 PM CDT up reply actions 4 recs
in reverse it looks like she says "yum"
"I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it." - Mitch Hedberg
I never noticed the backwards "6" seat number behind the blond dude
It's baseball. You don't always get what you want, and you don't always want what you get. --Ed Coffin
See,
to me it looks like he’s leaning in to kiss her and she looks away and says “…no.”
"...like some Russian priest fresh off a bottle of potato vodka and a box of cigars." -t ball
by rangerdanger on Aug 25, 2010 11:47 PM CDT up reply actions
That was the best .gif thread ever
by blakethegr8 on Aug 25, 2010 4:13 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
Yes it was.
I would like a link to revisit it.
Genesis 1: 3-4 (Rangers Edition): And JD said "Let there be Lee," and there was Lee. And JD saw the Lee, that it was good: and JD divided the Rangers from the Angels. by Aquaman56
"Josey drives to games??? I always assumed he rides in on his high horse" jam0152
"dirkatron has his own evaluation metric: rapes above replacement." AJM
Yes
Best Ever!
"There are two girls that can take a pounding!" Tom Grieve
by Spadedsnake on Aug 25, 2010 10:27 PM CDT up reply actions
Visit that "starting a meme" thread linked above
many, many amazing gifs.
Freude schöner Götterfunken, Tochter aus Elysium, Freude!
The dude on the far right looks like a character in a movie
He’s the cool guy’s best friend, he’s geeky, he loves 80’s metal, and he is VERY unsure of himself around the ladies.
"...like some Russian priest fresh off a bottle of potato vodka and a box of cigars." -t ball
by rangerdanger on Aug 25, 2010 2:43 PM CDT up reply actions
I'd have to say the "Let's Go Rangers" chants ON THE ROAD
especially when it happened in Boston, and the Ranger flag was flown. I get goose bumps thinking about the pissed off Boston fans. That was a bizarro world. We’ve had a couple other Let’s Go Rangers chants as well.
A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.
by NothinG on Aug 25, 2010 12:57 AM CDT reply actions 2 recs
This fucking rocks.
"...like some Russian priest fresh off a bottle of potato vodka and a box of cigars." -t ball
by rangerdanger on Aug 25, 2010 9:43 AM CDT up reply actions
The Hamilton bomb
that was re-measured by a physicist in order to take a record away from Jose-off-the-head-Canseco
respice adspice prospice
by FormerDriller on Aug 25, 2010 1:04 AM CDT reply actions 2 recs
Or for that matter...
The Hambone shot that wasn’t thanks to the umps deciding replay was below their perfect eyes.
by ghostofErikThompson on Aug 25, 2010 1:06 AM CDT up reply actions
The day the Gut failed us all
respice adspice prospice
by FormerDriller on Aug 25, 2010 1:08 AM CDT up reply actions
Damn that's right.
Hamilton has 30 HR’s right now, not 29.
"The Angels are like the villain in the movie that isn't dead until he's been stabbed 150 times in the bath tub, yet he still might come back up one more time." - Eric Nadel
Yes please
"The Angels are like the villain in the movie that isn't dead until he's been stabbed 150 times in the bath tub, yet he still might come back up one more time." - Eric Nadel
We will never forget this Gem...
And his last post..
;’-(
"Fuck Tom Hicks. There is no aspect of my baseball universe that man hasn't shit on."
"and to Adam J. Morris and the Lone Star Ball regulars; go fuck yourself."- cmkelly29
by TooLegitToQuit on Aug 25, 2010 4:17 PM CDT up reply actions 2 recs
I'm glad we took his advice about getting a stud pitcher
now just gotta go find Chloe
by kevinkinsler on Aug 26, 2010 8:14 AM CDT up reply actions
The mysterious of Neftali Perez..........
Ball....toss.....antlers....
by GhostofSteveFoucault on Aug 25, 2010 7:53 AM CDT reply actions
To be seen:
But the year we won:
Rookie of the Year, Cy Young, MVP, Manager of the Year, and Executive of the Year
AKA BuckyB
yeah, I don't know if it's considered 'bizarre'
but CJ’s virtually seamless transition from pen to rotation is an awesome story line.
"Drinks are on me if Lewis posts >168IP and an era lower than 3.86." by RangerMad on Jan 20, 2010 12:36 PM PST
I think it is bizarre
if anyone said one year ago that the Rangers would be coasting into the playoffs off the strength of exceptional seasons by their co-#1’s Colby Lewis and CJ Wilson, they’d have been laughed right off LSB.
Go Rice Owls!
Especially that CJ is one good start away from having enough innings to qualify for the ERA title
and his ERA is low enough to be in contention for that title.
And Cliff Lee!
Remember, we freaking got Cliff Lee! Most of us thought it was only a nightly fantasy of GoET’s.
Identifying the top three starters in this rotation one year ago today would blow all our minds.
THE RANGERS ARE FULL OF UNBELIEVEABLE SUCK GIVE UP NOW IT DOES NOT MATTER GOOD BYE.
"It has been said that baseball is to the United States what revolutions are to Latin America, a safety valve for letting off steam. I think baseball is more serious than any Latin American revolution. But, then, I am a serious fan." -- George F. Will
oh, my bad, just saw this
"Drinks are on me if Lewis posts >168IP and an era lower than 3.86." by RangerMad on Jan 20, 2010 12:36 PM PST
That was incredibly bizarre, yes
He did it the first time, and I thought, “Wow, it’s been awhile since I’ve seen that happen.” Then, his next time up, he does it again!
by Outworlder47 on Aug 25, 2010 9:38 AM CDT up reply actions
x
Jon Daniels admitting on Newberg Night that they wear red to every home game vs. the Angels just to piss them off.
by FuturePants on Aug 25, 2010 8:55 AM CDT reply actions 6 recs
Thats badass
THE RANGERS ARE FULL OF UNBELIEVEABLE SUCK GIVE UP NOW IT DOES NOT MATTER GOOD BYE.
"It has been said that baseball is to the United States what revolutions are to Latin America, a safety valve for letting off steam. I think baseball is more serious than any Latin American revolution. But, then, I am a serious fan." -- George F. Will
He would stop on #28
"Support the Dutch Oven"
by RangerFloppy on Aug 25, 2010 9:19 AM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
He would finish it after winning our franchise 10th world title
In 2019.
THE RANGERS ARE FULL OF UNBELIEVEABLE SUCK GIVE UP NOW IT DOES NOT MATTER GOOD BYE.
"It has been said that baseball is to the United States what revolutions are to Latin America, a safety valve for letting off steam. I think baseball is more serious than any Latin American revolution. But, then, I am a serious fan." -- George F. Will
Hamilton hitting a HR
and it being called a double, not reviewed, and Ron Washington seemingly doesn’t care and does not argue at all
Ian Kinsler getting tossed.
He took a called third strike, and even though he obviously didn’t like the call and was pouty, he didn’t say anything to the umpire, and wasn’t even looking at him. He takes off his batting gloves, throws them towards his own dugout and is tossed.
How about the Chuck Greenberg/LSB coded message
exchange on the Norm Hitzges show?
"...like some Russian priest fresh off a bottle of potato vodka and a box of cigars." -t ball
Jon Daniels' first line at Newberg Night.
"Don’t want to spend my night waiting in line unless it’s for more beer."
--EssBee, on LoneStarBall, Jan. 21, 2010
"I am still the guy that traded Adrian Gonzalez"
in response to a standing ovation. Classic
Godwin's Law Version 2.0 (Rangers Edition)
"As a Ranger discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Danks, Volquez, or Young approaches one."
by LBBRangerFan on Aug 25, 2010 10:34 AM CDT up reply actions
LOL.
Man, when I start making more money I’m going to go to more of these gatherings. That’s awesome.
"The Angels are like the villain in the movie that isn't dead until he's been stabbed 150 times in the bath tub, yet he still might come back up one more time." - Eric Nadel
What about when (I think it was Blanco's) ball got caught inside (I forget the 2nd baseman)'s shirt and Blanco was safe with an infield hit?
that was bizarre
"Drinks are on me if Lewis posts >168IP and an era lower than 3.86." by RangerMad on Jan 20, 2010 12:36 PM PST
Vlad's
"He recently scored as high as an 8.5 on the Ryin A Scale of Douchebaggery." -Ryan A on the douchebag that is Kevin Millar
by TagDon'tTweet on Aug 25, 2010 10:43 AM CDT up reply actions
that's right...
"Drinks are on me if Lewis posts >168IP and an era lower than 3.86." by RangerMad on Jan 20, 2010 12:36 PM PST
that was funny as hell...
any time we get to hear TAG giggle, it’s a good day
"He recently scored as high as an 8.5 on the Ryin A Scale of Douchebaggery." -Ryan A on the douchebag that is Kevin Millar
by TagDon'tTweet on Aug 25, 2010 2:10 PM CDT up reply actions
Anytime we get to hear TAG it's a good day.
Genesis 1: 3-4 (Rangers Edition): And JD said "Let there be Lee," and there was Lee. And JD saw the Lee, that it was good: and JD divided the Rangers from the Angels. by Aquaman56
"Josey drives to games??? I always assumed he rides in on his high horse" jam0152
"dirkatron has his own evaluation metric: rapes above replacement." AJM
This
THE RANGERS ARE FULL OF UNBELIEVEABLE SUCK GIVE UP NOW IT DOES NOT MATTER GOOD BYE.
"It has been said that baseball is to the United States what revolutions are to Latin America, a safety valve for letting off steam. I think baseball is more serious than any Latin American revolution. But, then, I am a serious fan." -- George F. Will
what about when the ball got stuck in the cushioning at the top of the wall on a bounce w/ hamilton in LF?
not deserving of this list probably, but havent seen that happen quite like that ever
Scout: He was a first-round pick right? Got a huge bonus?
KG: Oh yeah.
Scout: Well, he spent a lot of it on milkshakes.
Pudge Rodriguez
stuck one into the padding of the wall during an All Star game in the 90’s. The only time I can remember it happening.
Ephesians 1:3-10
This would fall under the bankruptcy saga
but Young hitting a grand slam minutes apart from the winning bid being submitted was pretty cool.
Another weird thing I missed.
Is this linked anywhere?
Also, is there video/gif of the parachute guy getting hung up on the flag pole?
"...like some Russian priest fresh off a bottle of potato vodka and a box of cigars." -t ball
by rangerdanger on Aug 25, 2010 11:31 AM CDT up reply actions
Felt like this one had to be mentioned on its own...
Josh scoring from second on a grounder by Vlad.
The Rangers hanging a loss or a blown save in Arlington...
for the very first time on Mariano Rivera.
pretty bizarre how our closer STBF to begin the season
Then was replaced as closer by a rookie and moved into a set up role, and both relievers immediately flourished in the new roles.
It's fun to do bad things.
How is rally amputee not on there yet?
"Support the Dutch Oven"
by RangerFloppy on Aug 25, 2010 1:58 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
The David Murphy game, with the 57.4 WPA
Genesis 1: 3-4 (Rangers Edition): And JD said "Let there be Lee," and there was Lee. And JD saw the Lee, that it was good: and JD divided the Rangers from the Angels. by Aquaman56
"Josey drives to games??? I always assumed he rides in on his high horse" jam0152
"dirkatron has his own evaluation metric: rapes above replacement." AJM
O ya CJ's ball dive antlers
Genesis 1: 3-4 (Rangers Edition): And JD said "Let there be Lee," and there was Lee. And JD saw the Lee, that it was good: and JD divided the Rangers from the Angels. by Aquaman56
"Josey drives to games??? I always assumed he rides in on his high horse" jam0152
"dirkatron has his own evaluation metric: rapes above replacement." AJM
"Ball. Toss. Antlers."
Not really bizarre. More just PURE AWESOME.
by Closure GT on Aug 25, 2010 2:37 PM CDT up reply actions 2 recs
I knew I had part of it wrong.
Genesis 1: 3-4 (Rangers Edition): And JD said "Let there be Lee," and there was Lee. And JD saw the Lee, that it was good: and JD divided the Rangers from the Angels. by Aquaman56
"Josey drives to games??? I always assumed he rides in on his high horse" jam0152
"dirkatron has his own evaluation metric: rapes above replacement." AJM
No one mentioned that Chuck Morgan posted on LSB also and ripped Tom Hixxs.
Well then... I would like to see this Jeff Sullivan pornagraphy.
by ghostofErikThompson on Aug 11, 2010 10:35 PM PDT
by Feliz es bueno on Aug 25, 2010 2:15 PM CDT via mobile reply actions
Ya Chuck's been here a few times this year.
Genesis 1: 3-4 (Rangers Edition): And JD said "Let there be Lee," and there was Lee. And JD saw the Lee, that it was good: and JD divided the Rangers from the Angels. by Aquaman56
"Josey drives to games??? I always assumed he rides in on his high horse" jam0152
"dirkatron has his own evaluation metric: rapes above replacement." AJM
The ripping of the previous regime, though, was a one of a kind experience
THE RANGERS ARE FULL OF UNBELIEVEABLE SUCK GIVE UP NOW IT DOES NOT MATTER GOOD BYE.
"It has been said that baseball is to the United States what revolutions are to Latin America, a safety valve for letting off steam. I think baseball is more serious than any Latin American revolution. But, then, I am a serious fan." -- George F. Will
Very true.
Genesis 1: 3-4 (Rangers Edition): And JD said "Let there be Lee," and there was Lee. And JD saw the Lee, that it was good: and JD divided the Rangers from the Angels. by Aquaman56
"Josey drives to games??? I always assumed he rides in on his high horse" jam0152
"dirkatron has his own evaluation metric: rapes above replacement." AJM
So. Awesome.
DJ, thanks for including me in the real deal list.
If it is not already clear, Rangers fans are going to love Chuck Greenberg as the Managing General Partner of this franchise.
It is such a relief to have someone in an ownership position that understands the game and really cares about the fans having a good time when they come to the ballpark. For years I have presented proposal after proposal to improve the fan experience at the ballpark and in everything that we do, finally somebody that cares and listens.
Thanks
Chuck Morgan
“LSB Peeps Kicking it in a Suite” thread
Chuck Greenberg has some posts there, too.
It's baseball. You don't always get what you want, and you don't always want what you get. --Ed Coffin
by txranger7 on Aug 25, 2010 10:44 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
TAG's love affair with Kleenex boxes
"The Angels are like the villain in the movie that isn't dead until he's been stabbed 150 times in the bath tub, yet he still might come back up one more time." - Eric Nadel
T is for tissue
"He recently scored as high as an 8.5 on the Ryin A Scale of Douchebaggery." -Ryan A on the douchebag that is Kevin Millar
by TagDon'tTweet on Aug 25, 2010 2:48 PM CDT up reply actions
The Red Sox's game with the New Owners
And Wakefield getting boomsticked
Matt (Denver, CO): Congratulations, I heard you won a gold glove!
Klaw (1:18 PM) : Thanks, I had a great year at the plate!
I think Jason Heyward is ready to be promoted to the AL. He’s mastered the NL - Matthew Carruth
Now Taking Suggestions for New Username
Did someone mention JD saying on a chat that Arias had incriminating pictures?
Well then... I would like to see this Jeff Sullivan pornagraphy.
by ghostofErikThompson on Aug 11, 2010 10:35 PM PDT
by Feliz es bueno on Aug 25, 2010 3:02 PM CDT via mobile reply actions
Yes
I don’t know of who “C Wumpus” is. I have played “Wumpus”, though.
"What ... 92 miles per hour?" Feldman scoffed. "That's not gas. Feliz throws gas."
"If I had caught it, the force would have taken me through the fence." -- Rockies outfielder Ryan Spilborghs about a Nelson Cruz line drive.
by NorCalRangersFan on Aug 25, 2010 4:34 PM CDT up reply actions
Incriminating pictures of what?
"...like some Russian priest fresh off a bottle of potato vodka and a box of cigars." -t ball
by rangerdanger on Aug 26, 2010 9:54 AM CDT up reply actions
Cleaning the kitchen.
Also, D. A. Tron’s most epic response the night of the draft.
If Brad Pitt is playing Beane who do you want playing you?
JD: Eddie Guardado.
certainly bizarre...
"Drinks are on me if Lewis posts >168IP and an era lower than 3.86." by RangerMad on Jan 20, 2010 12:36 PM PST
Pears
Genesis 1: 3-4 (Rangers Edition): And JD said "Let there be Lee," and there was Lee. And JD saw the Lee, that it was good: and JD divided the Rangers from the Angels. by Aquaman56
"Josey drives to games??? I always assumed he rides in on his high horse" jam0152
"dirkatron has his own evaluation metric: rapes above replacement." AJM
What response?
Well then... I would like to see this Jeff Sullivan pornagraphy.
by ghostofErikThompson on Aug 11, 2010 10:35 PM PDT
by Feliz es bueno on Aug 25, 2010 3:08 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
"THE DRAFT IS FULL OF UNBELIEVABLE SUCK, JUST GIVE UP NOW IT DOES NOT MATTER GOOD BYE"
Unless he’s talking about something he said within the draft thread
"The Angels are like the villain in the movie that isn't dead until he's been stabbed 150 times in the bath tub, yet he still might come back up one more time." - Eric Nadel
He pretty much just lost his mind across all the draft threads and capped it with that great re-titling of his last draft thread
I adopted an amended version as my signature during the dark depths of last week. I feel like I ought to change it now, but I don’t want to anger the Mantis Overlord.
THE RANGERS ARE FULL OF UNBELIEVEABLE SUCK GIVE UP NOW IT DOES NOT MATTER GOOD BYE.
"It has been said that baseball is to the United States what revolutions are to Latin America, a safety valve for letting off steam. I think baseball is more serious than any Latin American revolution. But, then, I am a serious fan." -- George F. Will
Who could forget The Great TheDirkatronMeltDown2010?
"Fuck Tom Hicks. There is no aspect of my baseball universe that man hasn't shit on."
"and to Adam J. Morris and the Lone Star Ball regulars; go fuck yourself."- cmkelly29
by TooLegitToQuit on Aug 25, 2010 5:11 PM CDT up reply actions 3 recs
Where has he been anyway? Should we call out a dsheppard type manhunt? Do we need to check the South Carolina police reports?
THE RANGERS ARE FULL OF UNBELIEVEABLE SUCK GIVE UP NOW IT DOES NOT MATTER GOOD BYE.
"It has been said that baseball is to the United States what revolutions are to Latin America, a safety valve for letting off steam. I think baseball is more serious than any Latin American revolution. But, then, I am a serious fan." -- George F. Will
trailer?
It’s a 10×12 wood shack with no running water..,..similar to Ben’s.
"Sometimes you just want to sit back and watch somebody throw 100." - Jeff Passan on Neftali Feliz
"Baseball's all that's real" - JB
by Cecilio's Guante on Aug 26, 2010 10:48 AM CDT up reply actions 3 recs
This is underrated.
Genesis 1: 3-4 (Rangers Edition): And JD said "Let there be Lee," and there was Lee. And JD saw the Lee, that it was good: and JD divided the Rangers from the Angels. by Aquaman56
That's because you weigh about a buck twenty five...
…and the wind ends up blowing you down the road faster than Bengie can run. AJM on Aug 30, 2010
Opening day
Fan jumping from center field wall and diving into second base. Then evades security before giving up.
by BClary on Aug 25, 2010 3:27 PM CDT via mobile reply actions
What actually happened with the car on the field in Milwaukee? I missed that
THE RANGERS ARE FULL OF UNBELIEVEABLE SUCK GIVE UP NOW IT DOES NOT MATTER GOOD BYE.
"It has been said that baseball is to the United States what revolutions are to Latin America, a safety valve for letting off steam. I think baseball is more serious than any Latin American revolution. But, then, I am a serious fan." -- George F. Will
Almost getting no-hit on Opening Day
And Salty gets the walk-off with what would become his last hit for the Rangers.
by Past A Diving Michael Young on Aug 25, 2010 3:58 PM CDT reply actions
Elvis Andrus
Elvis Andrus’s cornrows were weird.
Saltalamacchia’s only hit as a Ranger this season being a walk off hit on Opening Day.
I was at the game the man fell from the upper deck and watched happen. Weird does not begin to describe it.
Ephesians 1:3-10
Ohhh.
I thought you were talking about Elvis throwing a ball and hitting LaPorta in the dome. You mean when Elvis was running and caught him with an elbow. That was cool.
"...like some Russian priest fresh off a bottle of potato vodka and a box of cigars." -t ball
by rangerdanger on Aug 26, 2010 9:57 AM CDT up reply actions
Daddy's Baby Girl!
"There are two girls that can take a pounding!" Tom Grieve
by Spadedsnake on Aug 25, 2010 10:31 PM CDT up reply actions
elvis on an elephant
even though i think it was already mentioned
JJT says that nobody obsesses about the Texas Rangers.
by Past A Diving Michael Young on Aug 25, 2010 11:01 PM CDT reply actions
Pretty sure that was last year.
I don’t always have sex with men…but when I do, I prefer Josh Hamilton. - AJM
That was written almost 4 years ago
October 6, 2006 – after Buck Showalter was fired.
Daniels must make a bold hire.
That type of move is the only way for the Rangers to break the spell of mediocrity that has made them inconsequential of late.
No one obsesses over the Rangers. There’s no passion for a team that has one playoff win in 35 years and hasn’t been to the postseason since 1999.
If the Rangers disappeared today, would anyone circulate a petition to bring them back? Would anyone sign it?
The right hire will make the Rangers relevant again, just like they were in the late ’90s when they won three division titles in four seasons and had the Dallas-Fort Worth area buzzing.
It's baseball. You don't always get what you want, and you don't always want what you get. --Ed Coffin
which happened after a Julio Borbon walk.
"Blister please, with those wings in your spine.
Love to be with a brother of mine.
How he'd love to find your tongue in his teeth,
In a struggle to find secret songs that you keep,
Wrapped in boxes so tight, sounding only at night as you sleep." ~Jeff Mangum; Neutral Milk Hotel