FanPost

Red Panda Mojo For The Rangers

I suppose it's best if I introduce myself first. My name is Justin Biehle, and I'm one of the Editor/Admins for the SB Nation site for the San Antonio Spurs, PoundingTheRock. Around those parts, we've been known to delve into all sorts of asinine, if not completely occult superstitions concerning the large games we've had there in the past. Coupled with my own admittedly bizarre insistences on game day, it makes for a tidal wave of good luck charm hunting that probably resembles the floor in a teenage girl's room, as clothes are feverishly strewn about as she attempt to decide what to wear to the mall in a panic. 

Most recently, we co-opted a peculiar ritual from our friends running the Detroit Pistons site (which was probably stolen from somebody else, because they're from Detroit), and began posting images of red pandas whenever we needed a big shot, or simply for Tim Duncan's decrepit body to not give out. The trickle quickly became a flood, and most definitely reached a point where I, myself, was unable to discern whether or not our success was met because of the Red Pandas, or because of the myriad other rituals I was busy distracting myself with. Whatever the case, we've gotten a championship out of the deal, so I figured it was worth it. 

I'm throwing some Red Pandas onto this post, in part because I'm at least sure it maintains a Sex Panther-esque rate of effectiveness, which is definitely better than 0%. I'm also doing it because, since this is my first post here (depsite being a member for a long time, and a lifelong Ranger fan), I'm not entirely certain the pre game speech I texted to my friends before gametime radio silence would be seen as acceptable. To put it bluntly, it was an immaturely and perhaps violently hostile rant, littered with needless (and therefore humorous) profanity. That though, as they say, is neither here nor there. 

Here's a Red Panda:

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Note how he appears sad and even forlorn, sitting alone, as if he were the last fan to leave Busch Stadium after the Rangers won their first championship. 

The deafening silence of defeat rings in his ears. 

Yes. Let us project the personifications of a defeated Cardinal fan upon him and mock his pain. His tears taste like Joy!

 

Have at it, LSBallers! 

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