What's going on in the new center field sports bar photo?

I included this "computer-generated photo illustration" of what will be the new Vandergriff Plaza sports bar in the Morning Links thread because it amused me. Now, here I sit, still mesmerized by it.

I figure the only way I will get it out of my system is to break down everything going on in this Imaginationland version of what will surely be the place to be seen at The Ballpark next season.

 

  1. Do these enthusiastic gentlemen know that the game is probably visible to their left? Are they watching excitedly at TV monitors? Did Nolan bring back Chuck Greenberg's beer blue light special?
  2. "Well, I've had just about enough of this whole baseball thing. Come on, honey."
  3. I think this might be Willem Dafoe.
  4. I think this might be a gas station beer model cardboard cutout.
  5. I wonder if this guy knows he's leering at the side-butt of a gas station beer model cardboard cutout?
  6. Tom Cruise from Cocktail!?
  7. Jon Daniels: Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  8. Why is this man so unbelievably sad?
  9. This guy should hang out with the sad guy instead of getting ignored at the bar while the bartender talks to the pretty lady on the other side of the room.
  10. This is probably John Rhadigan.
  11. Kids are welcome!
  12. You shouldn't be so startled that the Rangers bunted in the fourth inning down two runs, guy. They do it all the time.
  13. This man appears to have a boombox or is delivering a pizza.
  14. METAL!
  15. Bonus: Attractive lady - "Please come to our sports bar."

Additionally, the file name for the image was: DEMOLITIONRANGERS02 - So the place already has a pretty good name.

The only thing I truly know for sure about the new center field sports bar is people from this website are going to end up drunk in it. 

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