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EPL thread for tomorrow's final round UCL matches. Chelsea v Valencia is huge; City are praying for a miracle; United may do lolz again.

At the weekend the major matchup is Chelsea vs City, and also El Clasico's on, guaranteeing enough petulance for the rest of the month.

The week after, the interesting matchups are on Sunday: things could either end very poorly or less poorly for Arsenal going to Eastlands, while Villa fans will attempt to kill Stewart Downing after finishing off Alex McLeish first.

6 months ago Aq9cmlwcmaaksxk_tiny jonthefon 163 comments 5 recs  | 

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So strange
Persie_Official
Nice CL eve coming up interesting to see how the english teams do tonight. Arsenal—→ sit back relax and enjoy ☺

by sprite on Dec 6, 2011 10:59 AM CST reply actions  

Yeah

It’s hard to imagine a scenario where he’d be forced into a meaningful game again. Gibbs and Sagna will be back eventually, so there will be four full fledged guys ahead of him again even if they can’t dump him.

I just cross my fingers and toes that Vermaelen never injures himself again.

by Brett Perryman on Dec 7, 2011 8:03 PM CST up reply actions  

Welp

Arsene managed to get Santos injured by playing him in a meaningless CL match. Starting Santos and Vermaelen was beyond dumb and it bit Arsene in the ass.

by jf55510 on Dec 8, 2011 1:34 AM CST up reply actions  

Freaky

Just rode on the elevator here at work with a guy who looked like Dirk Kuyt. Not quite as ugly, but otherwise, could have been his twin.

"Those cocksuckers asking me if I thought we were gonna go up there and try to work his fuckin’ pitch count ‘cause he’s on three fuckin’ days rest…you know what I told those cocksuckers? He pitch ball, ball cross plate, we gonna knock the shit out of it."

- Wash

by RCCook on Dec 6, 2011 3:12 PM CST reply actions  

Praying at the alter of the ACL gods.

Don’t care about the CL, because there’s no way they can win it, but no Vidic and you might as well crown City now.

by LiamP on Dec 7, 2011 2:58 PM CST via mobile up reply actions  

UCL Holy Shit

Lyon needed to not only win today, but needed Ajax to lose, and to make up the seven goals they were behind Ajax, in order to advance to the knockout round.

15 minutes to go in both matches, and Ajax is losing by two; Lyon are up five on Dinamo Zagreb. Fucking amazing.

"Those cocksuckers asking me if I thought we were gonna go up there and try to work his fuckin’ pitch count ‘cause he’s on three fuckin’ days rest…you know what I told those cocksuckers? He pitch ball, ball cross plate, we gonna knock the shit out of it."

- Wash

by RCCook on Dec 7, 2011 3:18 PM CST up reply actions  

And they just scored again!

7-1 after being tied 1-1 at the half. Allez Lyon!

"Those cocksuckers asking me if I thought we were gonna go up there and try to work his fuckin’ pitch count ‘cause he’s on three fuckin’ days rest…you know what I told those cocksuckers? He pitch ball, ball cross plate, we gonna knock the shit out of it."

- Wash

by RCCook on Dec 7, 2011 3:18 PM CST up reply actions  

Crazy

I noticed the ticker and was like wtf? Scored like 3 goals in 5 minutes

by sprite on Dec 7, 2011 3:25 PM CST via mobile up reply actions  

Worse still for United

Now it looks like City will be eliminated, which should improve their chances at winning the league.

Not mediocre. Right about average

by trza on Dec 7, 2011 3:31 PM CST up reply actions  

City and United???

MANCHESTER IN CRISIS

by sprite on Dec 7, 2011 3:31 PM CST via mobile reply actions  

United are done

Benfica are winning, and Basel just scored again. Have fun in the Europa, Fergie!*

  • now that I say this, they’ll probably go on and win the damn thing

"Those cocksuckers asking me if I thought we were gonna go up there and try to work his fuckin’ pitch count ‘cause he’s on three fuckin’ days rest…you know what I told those cocksuckers? He pitch ball, ball cross plate, we gonna knock the shit out of it."

- Wash

by RCCook on Dec 7, 2011 3:32 PM CST up reply actions  

Not a chance. They'll play their second team at best.

No one wants to deal with bullshit Thursdau Europa league matches.

by LiamP on Dec 7, 2011 3:41 PM CST via mobile up reply actions  

I wonder if City gives it a go

just to avoid/lower the possibility of drawing another pear group next season.

i tell the truth; i lie a lot

by jonthefon on Dec 7, 2011 3:49 PM CST up reply actions  

Doubt it.

Their focus will probably be the league too.

Total shock that the 0 CM, 5 defenders, 4 wide players and 1 CF strategy employed by SAF didn’t work. Had such promise.

by LiamP on Dec 7, 2011 3:54 PM CST via mobile up reply actions  

Of course

City’s second team is quality as well.

Was Fergie going to try and buy a central midfielder or two in January regardless of what happened?

i tell the truth; i lie a lot

by jonthefon on Dec 7, 2011 4:05 PM CST up reply actions  

Oh yeah

Pogba will play some Europa league matches, no?

i tell the truth; i lie a lot

by jonthefon on Dec 7, 2011 4:07 PM CST up reply actions  

Is De Gea getting ripped?

Szcz is defending him on the twitbox

by sprite on Dec 7, 2011 4:30 PM CST via mobile reply actions  

Supposedly ITV were gunning for the De Gea cockup angle all night.

Yet to see the goals but most think he didn’t do much wrong on either.

by LiamP on Dec 7, 2011 4:37 PM CST via mobile up reply actions  

Oh shit.
mattspiro
Having scored 2 goals in their first 5 games, Lyon hit 7 in 30 minutes in Zagreb. That despite resting some of their best players #fishy

mattspiro
Watching highlights, 2 Lyon goals looked offside (well done Clattenburg et al). Plus Ajax had 2 wrongly disallowed for offside #veryfishy

by sprite on Dec 7, 2011 6:35 PM CST reply actions  

Looks like it's being investigated

And Zagreb fired their coach this morning. As a Lyon fan, I hope they got through on their own merits, and not through any match-fixing.

"Those cocksuckers asking me if I thought we were gonna go up there and try to work his fuckin’ pitch count ‘cause he’s on three fuckin’ days rest…you know what I told those cocksuckers? He pitch ball, ball cross plate, we gonna knock the shit out of it."

- Wash

by RCCook on Dec 8, 2011 9:15 AM CST up reply actions  

wowowow

Scout: He was a first-round pick right? Got a huge bonus?
KG: Oh yeah.
Scout: Well, he spent a lot of it on milkshakes.

by knockoutking on Dec 8, 2011 9:17 AM CST up reply actions  

i am excited for sat.

El Clásico!

Scout: He was a first-round pick right? Got a huge bonus?
KG: Oh yeah.
Scout: Well, he spent a lot of it on milkshakes.

by knockoutking on Dec 8, 2011 7:46 AM CST reply actions  

Ouch

That’s quite a blow.

Not mediocre. Right about average

by trza on Dec 8, 2011 7:04 PM CST up reply actions  

Wow

have to think you’ll get someone in January.

by sprite on Dec 8, 2011 7:21 PM CST up reply actions  

Doubt it.

They’ll just have to stop playing Smalling and Jones out of position.

by LiamP on Dec 8, 2011 7:38 PM CST up reply actions  

Subotić?

I know there were rumors of him moving to England last winter.

by Outworlder47 on Dec 8, 2011 10:48 PM CST up reply actions  

Not likely.

Again, they have Rio/Smalling/Jones/Evans still. They might bring in an experienced CB but I don’t think they’ll buy another young CB. The problem isn’t the depth behind Vidic, it’s that none of them are as good as Vidic.

by LiamP on Dec 8, 2011 11:39 PM CST up reply actions  

no one else is as beastly as vidic

"I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it." - Mitch Hedberg

by rentz on Dec 9, 2011 7:46 AM CST up reply actions  

Did indeed.

Part about Ferdinand is spot on but the rest of it is basically bollocks.

by LiamP on Dec 9, 2011 5:25 PM CST up reply actions  

Or as great at picking up red cards against Liverpool

"Those cocksuckers asking me if I thought we were gonna go up there and try to work his fuckin’ pitch count ‘cause he’s on three fuckin’ days rest…you know what I told those cocksuckers? He pitch ball, ball cross plate, we gonna knock the shit out of it."

- Wash

by RCCook on Dec 9, 2011 4:44 PM CST up reply actions  

Santos

Thanks Arsene, this is what happens when you play starters in a give up game, idiot. From @arsenal:

Wenger: “The bad news we have is that we lost Santos for a while. The ankle injury is more severe than expected. More than three weeks.”

by jf55510 on Dec 9, 2011 12:23 PM CST reply actions  

The only thing I didn't like

is that his uniform looks like it’s just casual shorts and t-shirt. They show a crest, but just the way it’s shaped. Adams’ at least looks like what he looked like in uniform.

by Brett Perryman on Dec 9, 2011 10:01 PM CST up reply actions  

No one can finish today

Everyone’s eith making an extra pass or not passing to an open man when they should

"I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it." - Mitch Hedberg

by rentz on Dec 10, 2011 9:36 AM CST up reply actions  

Finishers

This game shows the inability of Walcott and Gervinho to finish. They’ve blown around four excellent chances because those two can’t finish.

by jf55510 on Dec 10, 2011 9:37 AM CST up reply actions  

Also

How many offsides for Aresenal today? They need to get their shit together.

by jf55510 on Dec 10, 2011 9:39 AM CST up reply actions  

I blame gervinho

"I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it." - Mitch Hedberg

by rentz on Dec 10, 2011 9:48 AM CST up reply actions  

I blame Walcott

Is he really this bad a finisher?

by jf55510 on Dec 10, 2011 10:17 AM CST up reply actions  

Good man.
swish41
Watchin arsenal for a bit. Now off to second practice. Then rush home and enjoy el clasico. Should be a great one.

by sprite on Dec 10, 2011 9:25 AM CST reply actions  

That looked like an Henry goal

"I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it." - Mitch Hedberg

by rentz on Dec 10, 2011 10:50 AM CST up reply actions  

yup was a great pass

"I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it." - Mitch Hedberg

by rentz on Dec 10, 2011 12:49 PM CST up reply actions  

TWC is sweet

I set two different DVRs to be sure that their buggy software wouldn’t screw it up. Naturally, Fox Soccer, Fox Soccer HD and Fox Sports Espanol have all been on “ONE MOMENT PLEASE This channel should be available shortly.” the entire game, along with about half of my other channels.

I’m going to have to forgive Directv for their billing BS some day just for my own sanity.

by Brett Perryman on Dec 10, 2011 10:50 AM CST up reply actions  

Well

When that happens to me with TWC I first turn off the cable set top box and that usually fixes it. If that doesn’t work then I just reset the cable box top and that fixes.

by jf55510 on Dec 10, 2011 11:07 AM CST up reply actions  

Thanks for making me feel stupid, Justin

hah

I still hate TWC with a passion, and the problem still was that I wasn’t there until the very end, so I wouldn’t have been able to fix it anyway.

by Brett Perryman on Dec 10, 2011 11:13 AM CST up reply actions  

Well

Well, once time about half of my channels including all of my hd channels got that one moment please and I couldn’t figure out how to fix it. So I called into customer service, waited on hold for 30 minutes and they just told me to turn off the box or reset it. I felt like a fucking moron.

by jf55510 on Dec 10, 2011 11:28 AM CST up reply actions  

Oh, Bellers

Not even on the pitch a minute, and he’s already telling someone to “fuck off.” Hopefully we can get a second soon- this 1-0 lead is making me nervous…

"Those cocksuckers asking me if I thought we were gonna go up there and try to work his fuckin’ pitch count ‘cause he’s on three fuckin’ days rest…you know what I told those cocksuckers? He pitch ball, ball cross plate, we gonna knock the shit out of it."

- Wash

by RCCook on Dec 10, 2011 10:37 AM CST reply actions  

Pretty awesome soccernet headline
O’Neill dreams of playing like Barca
December 10, 2011

By ESPNsoccernet staff
Sunderland manager Martin O’Neill has outlined his ambition to have a team that plays with the style of Barcelona, though admitted “pragmatism has to be the order of the day” for the struggling Wearsiders at the moment.

Did that really need to be written?

by Brett Perryman on Dec 10, 2011 11:14 AM CST reply actions  

Ugh espn3 is taking forever to load this match

"I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it." - Mitch Hedberg

by rentz on Dec 10, 2011 3:17 PM CST reply actions  

All this flopping and arguing is silly

Having to watch on my iPad can’t get espn3 to load on the Xbox

"I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it." - Mitch Hedberg

by rentz on Dec 10, 2011 3:37 PM CST up reply actions  

done be hatin'

"I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it." - Mitch Hedberg

by rentz on Dec 10, 2011 3:45 PM CST up reply actions  

Cesc

well that was unexpected.

by sprite on Dec 10, 2011 4:23 PM CST reply actions  

King mong

i tell the truth; i lie a lot

by jonthefon on Dec 10, 2011 4:27 PM CST via mobile reply actions  

Casillas is hilarious

Sees nothing immediately available via throw, so starts cursing at his team while walloping it downfield to Valdes.

by LiamP on Dec 10, 2011 4:45 PM CST reply actions  

I love David Moyes as a manager

but that one forward line-up is starting to become an absolute joke. He managed the game like he wanted to just hand it to Arsenal

Dallas Stars Examiner
used to be under name hinduplaya

by MayurP on Dec 10, 2011 8:53 PM CST reply actions  

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Scout: He was a first-round pick right? Got a huge bonus?
KG: Oh yeah.
Scout: Well, he spent a lot of it on milkshakes.

by knockoutking on Dec 11, 2011 11:05 AM CST reply actions  

in hindsight

probably the wrong pic to post. but sums up how i felt after the game brilliantly.

Scout: He was a first-round pick right? Got a huge bonus?
KG: Oh yeah.
Scout: Well, he spent a lot of it on milkshakes.

by knockoutking on Dec 12, 2011 7:13 AM CST up reply actions  

Woah
mattspiro
RMC reporting PSG and Man City have agreed a fee of 27m euros for Tevez. PSG now need to convince the player

by sprite on Dec 11, 2011 12:26 PM CST reply actions  

Santos out for 3 months

Good thing Gibbs is a fast healer.

by sprite on Dec 12, 2011 11:43 AM CST reply actions  

Well

Well, until about 20 minutes into his first match when Gibbs gets hurt again. Arsene needs to go buy a left full back or twenty.

by jf55510 on Dec 13, 2011 12:08 AM CST up reply actions  

from sid lowe's article on the guardian
Twenty-three seconds and he had gifted Madrid the opening goal. Not just any opening goal, either: the first in the world’s biggest rivalry, one that sent tectonic plates crashing into each other. Madrid, so deadly on the counter, so imperious, a goal up (it had been almost 70 games since they’d taken the lead and failed to win), were winning

havent thought about this much recently, but wow. 70 games is a hell of a long time.

Scout: He was a first-round pick right? Got a huge bonus?
KG: Oh yeah.
Scout: Well, he spent a lot of it on milkshakes.

by knockoutking on Dec 12, 2011 12:36 PM CST reply actions  

The Danish Wonder
Nicklas Bendtner was forced to go begging for his pizza among strangers on Saturday night.

Stopping at a pizzeria in Copenhagen the Sunderland striker, on loan from Arsenal, turned to desperate methods when his credit card wouldn’t work.

Danish newspaper Ekstrabladet reported that Bendtner tried to get the pizzas for free, even asking staff: “Don’t you know who I am? I can buy the whole pizzeria.”

A member of staff, who did not want to be named, is quoted by the paper as saying: “We told him that it did not matter who he was. If he could not pay, there was no pizza.”

A customer told the paper: “He was f***ing arrogant acted as if he owned the place. All the people just stood and looked at each other and shook their heads over the way he behaved.”

by sprite on Dec 13, 2011 12:07 AM CST reply actions  

xx
"We told him that it did not matter who he was. If he could not pay, there was no pizza."

Scout: He was a first-round pick right? Got a huge bonus?
KG: Oh yeah.
Scout: Well, he spent a lot of it on milkshakes.

by knockoutking on Dec 13, 2011 7:28 AM CST up reply actions  

i am so tempted to make this my sig

Scout: He was a first-round pick right? Got a huge bonus?
KG: Oh yeah.
Scout: Well, he spent a lot of it on milkshakes.

by knockoutking on Dec 13, 2011 7:28 AM CST up reply actions  

Not a good week for the world class Dane
Sunderland players Nicklas Bendtner and Lee Cattermole have been arrested by police on suspicion of damaging cars near the stadium of Premier League rival Newcastle.

by sprite on Dec 16, 2011 5:50 PM CST up reply actions  

xx
Pep Guardiola took over as coach at FC Barcelona in 2008. Since that time he has faced Real Madrid seven times in Liga Clasico matches. Out of the 21 points in play in these games, Real Madrid have snatched just one.

Scout: He was a first-round pick right? Got a huge bonus?
KG: Oh yeah.
Scout: Well, he spent a lot of it on milkshakes.

by knockoutking on Dec 13, 2011 7:52 AM CST reply actions  

lol

if this happened, would the soccer threads on LSB end? lol

Scout: He was a first-round pick right? Got a huge bonus?
KG: Oh yeah.
Scout: Well, he spent a lot of it on milkshakes.

by knockoutking on Dec 16, 2011 7:59 AM CST up reply actions  

4-6 mo evidently

“fractured shin”

Scout: He was a first-round pick right? Got a huge bonus?
KG: Oh yeah.
Scout: Well, he spent a lot of it on milkshakes.

by knockoutking on Dec 16, 2011 7:59 AM CST up reply actions  

Donovan!

Back to Everton for 8 weeks after the new year.

by Outworlder47 on Dec 15, 2011 4:13 PM CST via mobile reply actions  

Too bad we can't afford him

All in the life of a bankrupt team. Ah well, maybe Moyes can finally start playing 2 up top now /wishful thinking

Dallas Stars Examiner
used to be under name hinduplaya

by MayurP on Dec 15, 2011 7:48 PM CST up reply actions  

Not gonna happen

He’ll be back to the Galaxy for the 2012 season.

Not mediocre. Right about average

by trza on Dec 16, 2011 8:58 AM CST up reply actions  

UCL draw

Arsenal (vs Milan) and Chelsea (vs Napoli) both get tough fixtures. Yikes, probably the toughest matchups possible out of all the runner-ups.

i tell the truth; i lie a lot

by jonthefon on Dec 16, 2011 5:26 AM CST reply actions  

Can we rent Cesc for this matchup?

Memories… At least we should have Wilshere by then.

by sprite on Dec 16, 2011 7:46 AM CST via mobile up reply actions  

Tevez

He played in one of City’s early CL matches, so he’d be ineligible to play for Milan if they manage to sign him in January. That is fortunate for Arsenal.

Not mediocre. Right about average

by trza on Dec 16, 2011 9:50 AM CST up reply actions  

Speaking as a neutral

It’s a very tasty fixture. Quite looking forward to it.

Not mediocre. Right about average

by trza on Dec 16, 2011 2:44 PM CST up reply actions  

Valencia vs. Stoke

Can’t wait for those Spanish ponces to get knocked around in the away leg.

by LiamP on Dec 17, 2011 5:37 PM CST up reply actions  

Liverpool-Villa

2-0 Reds 15 minutes in- Bellers and Skrtel with the goals. Glad I woke up early!

"Those cocksuckers asking me if I thought we were gonna go up there and try to work his fuckin’ pitch count ‘cause he’s on three fuckin’ days rest…you know what I told those cocksuckers? He pitch ball, ball cross plate, we gonna knock the shit out of it."

- Wash

by RCCook on Dec 18, 2011 8:22 AM CST reply actions  

Nasri starts

have a feeling he’s going to do pears.

by sprite on Dec 18, 2011 9:37 AM CST reply actions  

Poor

Man, Arsenal have been poor inside the box this second half.

by jf55510 on Dec 18, 2011 11:40 AM CST reply actions  

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