In the aftermath of the still-mysterious Matt Treanor trade, and in fevered anticipation of Opening Day, Joey Matches updates his much-fabled but seldom-seen Texas Rangers Playing Time Matrix™. Thrill to the optimism of Josh Hamilton, Ian Kinsler, and Nelson Cruz playing 154 games each! Ponder how David Murphy and the Mikes Napoli and Young will get their plate appearances! Learn the definition of the word "troika"! Don't delay, read now!
(The pie is a lie.)