So earlier tonight I had one of those Marie Calendars Sweet and Sour Chicken dinners.
Anyway, I open the fucking thing up and the vegetable section contains practically nothing but broccoli stems.
I was beside myself.
Seriously, who in the flying motherfuck would pack nothing but broccoli stems into a TV dinner? What kind of cruel, debased motherfucker does this? Nobody likes broccoli stems, man. You know why? Broccoli stems fucking suck. That's how I know this was premeditated. No way was this some kind of accident. Some sadist back at the fucking Marie Calendars factory decided to jam all the fucking stems into one dinner and ship it off, knowing some poor sap such as myself would open it up, go to poke the requisite hole over the veggies and go "OH WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE?".
I don't know who the jackass who packed my dinner is, where he's from or what he looks like but I hope he falls into some sort of massive sorting machine, gets chopped into pieces and mailed to twenty different cities.
What a dick.