Kinsler: Call Your Agent Before You Head for the Lake
by WWMcClyde on Jul 11, 2011 12:43 PM CDT
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PrintIan Kinsler told ESPN Dallas reporter Master Tesfatsion yesterday that he plans to spend most of his All Star break at Lake Texoma. In addition to fishing, Kinsler apparently plans to spend quite a bit of time on a jet ski. Word to the wise: Kins, before you get on that jet ski, call your agent [Jay Franklin at BBI Sports Group] and ask him about paragraph 5(b) of the Unifiorm Player's Contract, which states:
"The Player and the Club recognize and agree that the Player's participation in certain other sports may impair or destroy his ability and skill as a baseball player. Accordingly, the Player agrees that he will not engage in professional boxing or wrestling; and that, except with the written consent of the Club, he will not engage in skiing, auto racing, motorcycle racing, sky diving, or in any game or exhibition of football, soccer, professional league basketball, ice hockey or other sport involving a substantial risk of personal injury."
Note that the language does NOT distinguish between snow skiing and water skiing. Also note that it does NOT except riding a jet ski from the prohibition on skiing.
Thus far this season, Kinsler is managing to do something that he's never done before -- stay off the DL. From 2006-2010, he missed an average of 41.2 days per season due to injury (and if you except 2009 when he was shelved for only 17 days, that average would be 47.3).
I wonder how Nolan and JD would feel about their starting second baseman and leadoff hitter getting on an aquatic motorcycle with a 1-game lead in the AL West?
(And if Kinsler has indeed obtained the requisite written consent, or negotiated it into his contract beforehand, the Rangers need to approach these issues with their injury-prone players with a considerably higher degree of caution.)
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He'll be alright.
"...out of the shadows of unprecedented success, the sun shines down upon this team waiting to thrill anew." - ghostofErikThompson
You're probably right...
…but why take chances like that in the middle of a pennant race? Seems like a judgment thing to me.
Because Jetskis are fucking awesome.
"beiacte like you hjave to read tha at ovie and then you read the eholwe thin g an d but ibecause you dont want to and then if when ifo u dont read te lyrics but inot becaise ists a song but its like the wordfs sand stuff wehat you do, but you read it, but when you dont whic that is the point of thwat i am saying you are so god fdam dammnit fucking , becauset now our ost yobecuasee ttyou havent read i , and then yo go iwht poprocrn!!!" - TagDon'tTweet, 06/23/11
by vfn on Jul 11, 2011 12:57 PM CDT up reply actions 9 recs
Understatement.
"I’d love to walk in and hug everybody every day, but that’s not critical to us winning." - Jon Daniels
by GhettoBear04 on Jul 11, 2011 1:09 PM CDT up reply actions
how am i the first rec for this?
Scout: He was a first-round pick right? Got a huge bonus?
KG: Oh yeah.
Scout: Well, he spent a lot of it on milkshakes.
by knockoutking on Jul 11, 2011 2:00 PM CDT up reply actions
Try not to be happy on a jet ski.
Just try it.
Ever been in a boardroom, or a gang fight? Ever save a life? Ever won a court case against the odds? Ever held a dying buddy in your arms?.- jackanape on "perspective," 11/8/2010.
"do you a jet ski rental place would work here" - Mike E, 5/10/2011, in response to me saying I would rather face the Thunder than the Grizzlies in the WCF.
IT IS UNPOSSIBLE
Scout: He was a first-round pick right? Got a huge bonus?
KG: Oh yeah.
Scout: Well, he spent a lot of it on milkshakes.
by knockoutking on Jul 11, 2011 2:22 PM CDT up reply actions
Fact.
It’s pretty hard to get hurt on one too, unless you’re just being fucking ignorant.
"The Angels are like the villain in the movie that isn't dead until he's been stabbed 150 times in the bath tub, yet he still might come back up one more time." - Eric Nadel
That's something I always wonder about with pro athletes
If I’m making millions of dollars to do something, then I’d like to think I could refrain from any and all remotely dangerous activities that might interfere with my availability. But then, on the other hand, it would suck to have to basically put life on hold for 6 months out of the year.
The Texas Rangers have been synonymous with explosive firepower ever since they emptied 130 rounds into Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow in 1934. - Alyssa Milano
/austin college students
Scout: He was a first-round pick right? Got a huge bonus?
KG: Oh yeah.
Scout: Well, he spent a lot of it on milkshakes.
by knockoutking on Jul 11, 2011 2:01 PM CDT up reply actions
no reply jobu?
:(
Scout: He was a first-round pick right? Got a huge bonus?
KG: Oh yeah.
Scout: Well, he spent a lot of it on milkshakes.
by knockoutking on Jul 11, 2011 5:02 PM CDT up reply actions
...i think the count is up to 2 on texoma now
Scout: He was a first-round pick right? Got a huge bonus?
KG: Oh yeah.
Scout: Well, he spent a lot of it on milkshakes.
by knockoutking on Jul 11, 2011 10:12 PM CDT up reply actions
We all miss your cousin
The snozberries taste like snozberries!!
by Chrom on Jul 11, 2011 6:27 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
They're just called jet skis
It’s not skiing and it’s nothing like it. Far safer as long as he’s sober.
We need downvoting at LSB.
by Black Francis on Jul 11, 2011 1:11 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
I know what it is and isn't...
…but the contract says what it says. I’m sure he’s a very capable rider, but that’s not the point.
Apparently you don't.
Riding a jetski is not skiing. It has nothing to do with skiing. Personal watercraft – Jet Ski is just a brand – are perfectly safe unless the rider is being an idiot.
by Black Francis on Jul 11, 2011 1:27 PM CDT up reply actions 2 recs
This
What if he’s on a WaveRunner ™?
"Live like you’re already dead, man. Have a good time. Do your best. Let it all come ripping right through you."
by TheJeezus on Jul 11, 2011 1:48 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
Then he's running I guess, and that's okay.
by Black Francis on Jul 11, 2011 1:49 PM CDT up reply actions
I read once that it was a mosey
if you translate directly from the aramaic.
Some see a glass half empty, some a glass half full. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be. - George Carlin
hm
I think He probably ran, at least a little. I mean if you could walk on water you’re probably going to run and slide around and stuff on it, too, just for the lulz.
by Black Francis on Jul 11, 2011 4:07 PM CDT up reply actions 5 recs
but his contract said no skiing
Some see a glass half empty, some a glass half full. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be. - George Carlin
Exactly.
You’d have to be following behind boats and trying to do backflips on the wake and shit. If you’re just riding on the open water it’s pretty damn hard to wreck one of those things unless you accidentally hit a tree or something.
"The Angels are like the villain in the movie that isn't dead until he's been stabbed 150 times in the bath tub, yet he still might come back up one more time." - Eric Nadel
Or the dumbass on another Jetski is being a dumbass.
One of the major differences between young guys and us old folks is that it takes age to realize that shit happens even if YOU are being careful.
/oldGuyMiniRant
The Texas Rangers have been synonymous with explosive firepower ever since they emptied 130 rounds into Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow in 1934. - Alyssa Milano
same thing could happen in a fishing boat
Or in a car. Or while running along the Katy trail. Or riding a bike.
by Black Francis on Jul 11, 2011 2:48 PM CDT up reply actions
Which is why I'm holed up in a dark room, living through the internet
That outside world is SCAAAAAARY!!!
The Texas Rangers have been synonymous with explosive firepower ever since they emptied 130 rounds into Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow in 1934. - Alyssa Milano
by bking on Jul 11, 2011 2:57 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
a meteor could hit your house
and you’d die in that dark room.
Some see a glass half empty, some a glass half full. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be. - George Carlin
Not only that, Jet Ski is actually a Kawasaki trademark for a personal watercraft (so it's not really even called a jet ski unless it's that brand)
Sort of like Kleenex is a trademark for a brand of tissue or Dumpster is a trademark for a brand of trash bin.
Skiing isn't the same as being on a jet ski
Kinsler isn’t dumb. I’m sure he knows what’s in and not in his contract.
I'm not clicking it.
Is it Tosh?
"...out of the shadows of unprecedented success, the sun shines down upon this team waiting to thrill anew." - ghostofErikThompson
What if the fish hook
gets lodged in his knee, or pokes out his eye? That selfish bastard needs to get himself into a bubble.
It's bad
…but I don’t think it’s as bad some of the Sharky and Miles fanposts that have showed up the last couple years.
by Black Francis on Jul 11, 2011 1:41 PM CDT up reply actions
I've posted much, much worse
like asking (towards the start of my visiting here in July of last year) if we should bring back Hank Blalock to play 1B. Boy that was a bad one…
Not likely to happen, but dreams are the foundation of baseball, so dream away. - JParks
"You know you're from Dallas if the Blue Book value on your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it."
Eric Prince, Director, Department of the Obvious
by Eric Prince on Jul 11, 2011 11:37 PM CDT up reply actions
From McClyde's profile
I’ve drawn paychecks in journalism, politics and law, which means that I’ve covered all the scumbag professions save one — and I don’t have the physique to be a male prostie. Graduate of UT and the UT Law School. Day job: partner in law firm. Dallas native living in Austin with wife and son.
Huh.
what is his night job?
Scout: He was a first-round pick right? Got a huge bonus?
KG: Oh yeah.
Scout: Well, he spent a lot of it on milkshakes.
by knockoutking on Jul 11, 2011 2:01 PM CDT up reply actions
Probably a contract law professor if I had to guess.
by Black Francis on Jul 11, 2011 2:13 PM CDT up reply actions
Drives a zamboni for
the International Culinary Institute (ICE).
Some see a glass half empty, some a glass half full. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be. - George Carlin
I don't see anything in that language that would govern use of a personal watercraft.
Colloquialisms aside.
Ever been in a boardroom, or a gang fight? Ever save a life? Ever won a court case against the odds? Ever held a dying buddy in your arms?.- jackanape on "perspective," 11/8/2010.
"do you a jet ski rental place would work here" - Mike E, 5/10/2011, in response to me saying I would rather face the Thunder than the Grizzlies in the WCF.
I searched the Texas Bar Assn site for "aquaman" and it returned no results.
by Black Francis on Jul 11, 2011 2:41 PM CDT up reply actions
I can give you my Bar # via email if you like.
Ever been in a boardroom, or a gang fight? Ever save a life? Ever won a court case against the odds? Ever held a dying buddy in your arms?.- jackanape on "perspective," 11/8/2010.
"do you a jet ski rental place would work here" - Mike E, 5/10/2011, in response to me saying I would rather face the Thunder than the Grizzlies in the WCF.
Nah, I can tell you're a lawyer.
What kind of lawyer are you, though? I may need one because I think the son of a bitch who’s representing me now is stringing me along.
by Black Francis on Jul 11, 2011 2:45 PM CDT up reply actions
I work for the federal government
But my practice area when I leave will be bankruptcy and corporate restructuring.
Ever been in a boardroom, or a gang fight? Ever save a life? Ever won a court case against the odds? Ever held a dying buddy in your arms?.- jackanape on "perspective," 11/8/2010.
"do you a jet ski rental place would work here" - Mike E, 5/10/2011, in response to me saying I would rather face the Thunder than the Grizzlies in the WCF.
Oh yeah I remember that.
This is a personal injury type thing. Auto accident. Fucking insurance companies.
by Black Francis on Jul 11, 2011 2:50 PM CDT up reply actions
Yeah...
I don’t have anything to do with that.
Ever been in a boardroom, or a gang fight? Ever save a life? Ever won a court case against the odds? Ever held a dying buddy in your arms?.- jackanape on "perspective," 11/8/2010.
"do you a jet ski rental place would work here" - Mike E, 5/10/2011, in response to me saying I would rather face the Thunder than the Grizzlies in the WCF.
I don't know about anybody here...
But I just went through somebody that took really good care of me. Give me your e-mail and I’ll send you his info.
"The Angels are like the villain in the movie that isn't dead until he's been stabbed 150 times in the bath tub, yet he still might come back up one more time." - Eric Nadel
email is on my site in the copyright page
I don’t put it on here anymore because someone sent me hate mail the last time I did.
by Black Francis on Jul 11, 2011 3:13 PM CDT up reply actions
Heh, alright give me a minute.
"The Angels are like the villain in the movie that isn't dead until he's been stabbed 150 times in the bath tub, yet he still might come back up one more time." - Eric Nadel
Sorry about that.
Ever been in a boardroom, or a gang fight? Ever save a life? Ever won a court case against the odds? Ever held a dying buddy in your arms?.- jackanape on "perspective," 11/8/2010.
"do you a jet ski rental place would work here" - Mike E, 5/10/2011, in response to me saying I would rather face the Thunder than the Grizzlies in the WCF.
by Aqua on Jul 11, 2011 3:14 PM CDT up reply actions 2 recs
That was you?
What you said could probably get you disbarred, dumbass. I won’t pursue it though.
by Black Francis on Jul 11, 2011 3:19 PM CDT up reply actions
NO! I was joking.
Ever been in a boardroom, or a gang fight? Ever save a life? Ever won a court case against the odds? Ever held a dying buddy in your arms?.- jackanape on "perspective," 11/8/2010.
"do you a jet ski rental place would work here" - Mike E, 5/10/2011, in response to me saying I would rather face the Thunder than the Grizzlies in the WCF.
what was said?
Scout: He was a first-round pick right? Got a huge bonus?
KG: Oh yeah.
Scout: Well, he spent a lot of it on milkshakes.
by knockoutking on Jul 11, 2011 3:36 PM CDT up reply actions
In brief, that they were going to hunt me down and kill me
by Black Francis on Jul 11, 2011 3:42 PM CDT up reply actions
what a douche
regular poster?
Scout: He was a first-round pick right? Got a huge bonus?
KG: Oh yeah.
Scout: Well, he spent a lot of it on milkshakes.
by knockoutking on Jul 11, 2011 3:45 PM CDT up reply actions
Well I do have an idea
…but it’s only speculation.
by Black Francis on Jul 11, 2011 3:47 PM CDT up reply actions
wlel, sry about that
Scout: He was a first-round pick right? Got a huge bonus?
KG: Oh yeah.
Scout: Well, he spent a lot of it on milkshakes.
by knockoutking on Jul 11, 2011 3:47 PM CDT up reply actions
Adam should come in here and post
“Do not kill or threaten to kill fellow posters.”
by Black Francis on Jul 11, 2011 3:51 PM CDT up reply actions
Did you mean you were joking just now and that you didn't send the email?
Or did you mean that what you said in the email was a joke?
I’m not taking it seriously, but I’d sort of like to know who sent that, and from the five minutes I spent investigating it I don’t think it was you. I’m no expert, though.
by Black Francis on Jul 11, 2011 3:41 PM CDT up reply actions
I was joking just now.
I didn’t send you that email.
Ever been in a boardroom, or a gang fight? Ever save a life? Ever won a court case against the odds? Ever held a dying buddy in your arms?.- jackanape on "perspective," 11/8/2010.
"do you a jet ski rental place would work here" - Mike E, 5/10/2011, in response to me saying I would rather face the Thunder than the Grizzlies in the WCF.
Cool.
I’m not really that worried about it. Curious about it, though.
by Black Francis on Jul 11, 2011 3:48 PM CDT up reply actions
Alright check your e-mail.
"The Angels are like the villain in the movie that isn't dead until he's been stabbed 150 times in the bath tub, yet he still might come back up one more time." - Eric Nadel
Working for the federal government
explains why your comment total is so high! I kid.
My boss told me to take today off because he's out of town.
Ever been in a boardroom, or a gang fight? Ever save a life? Ever won a court case against the odds? Ever held a dying buddy in your arms?.- jackanape on "perspective," 11/8/2010.
"do you a jet ski rental place would work here" - Mike E, 5/10/2011, in response to me saying I would rather face the Thunder than the Grizzlies in the WCF.
Judging by the number of comments you've had
you’re boss must never work! Okay….I’ll stop with the bad jokes now.
Oddly enough
If you just go by the Uniform Contract as quoted above, a player can engage in an amateur boxing or wrestling match. I supposed he could also fly a hang glider or an ultralight. Or go mountain climbing. Wrestle alligators (but not professionally).
When Mitch hits it big, we probably need to include a clause restricting his ability to calf rope or alligator wrastle.
Ever been in a boardroom, or a gang fight? Ever save a life? Ever won a court case against the odds? Ever held a dying buddy in your arms?.- jackanape on "perspective," 11/8/2010.
"do you a jet ski rental place would work here" - Mike E, 5/10/2011, in response to me saying I would rather face the Thunder than the Grizzlies in the WCF.
yes
Rodeo activities should definitely be off limits to Mitch. I’d hate to see him trying to outrun a pissed off bull.
by Black Francis on Jul 11, 2011 3:26 PM CDT up reply actions
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