Cranky old man Bud Selig, who only cracks a smile when he extorts a new public-financed stadium out of a cash-strapped municipality, has found something new to complain about:

As cameras captured the Giants’ wild celebration, Selig frowned.

"This is something I am not happy about: spraying champagne all over," he said. "I’m not a fan of that."

Would he like to put a stop to it?

"I don’t know that we can," he said.

You’re the commissioner, he was reminded. Of course you could.

"We could," he said. "I understand that. It is something I have talked to the clubs about and will continue to talk to the clubs about. You want to have great celebrations, fine. But spraying each other with champagne is not that."

Just retire already, Bud.