Dale Doback: Okay, here's the shot out of the cannon: Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one, go!
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Dale Doback: [as they are called back into the office for their first interview] We're here to fuck shit up!
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Brennan Huff: Robert better not get in my face... 'cause I'll drop that motherfucker!
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Brennan Huff: I'm going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you!
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Derek: So, what do we do now?
Brennan Huff: We could hug?
Derek: Yeah, you'd like that, you faggot!... I'm sorry, I'm new to this.
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Brennan Huff: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls, Gardocki!
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Dale Doback: [after hearing Brennan sing] You have the voice of an angel. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.
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Brennan Huff: I have a belly full of white dog crap in me, and now you lay this shit on me?