Jul 31, 2012; Arlington, TX, USA; 2012 Texas Rangers turning into Mr. Burns' team of ringers, Holland checks self for giganticism. Mandatory Credit: Tim Heitman-US PRESSWIRE
Scott Feldman wishing upon a cursed monkey paw for a permanent spot in the rotation isn't working out as well as he'd hoped. (Incidentally, The Bottle Imp by Robert Louis Stevenson is a similar story and is available on Google Books).
Richard Durrett has a post bidding adieu to July with quotes from the players about how they hope to turn things around. Michael Young says they just have to keep playing hard and David Murphy says they need to come out fired up and play the game the right way with their socks up high or something. Strangely, there are no quotes referencing the gypsy curse Arte Moreno put on them or the Indian burial ground that TBiA was apparently erected upon. Durrett also has his rapid reactions to the game, with home runs and more home runs and thank god I didn't give up cough syrup when I stopped drinking. There's also a post quoting various players on the trade deadline acquisitions, which is about as free of content as you would expect a bunch of quotes from ballplayers about trade deadline acquisitions to be.
At the DMN, we have Jon Daniels saying that Scott Feldman has earned the right to stay in the rotation, probably fearing a plague of locusts and all the soda fountains running red with blood if he didn't set Scott Feldman free. Evan Grant has some notes and quotes about Holland and the offense that you shouldn't read before you take your psych meds, and there's a post quoting Ron Washington saying that Geovany Soto will get a lot of playing time.
T.R. Sullivan talks about the Ryan Dempster trade being made possible by minor league depth and has a recap of the game which incredibly consists of more than THIS GAME WAS FULL OF UNBELIEVABLE SUCK GOODBYE.
Jeff Wilson at the FWST Foul Territory blog details the Dempster deal, saying it came down to the wire, and Drew Davison has a recap of the game, but why don't you watch this cute dog play with a catapult instead?
Finally, everybody had stuff about Feliz and his traitorous ligament, so here's the DMN, the FWST, T.R. Sullivan, and ESPN, but the short version is that Feliz needs Tommy John because you keep touching yourself, so I hope you're happy.
And finally, in honor of the apocalyptic mood I'm in about the Rangers right now, here's my favorite song about the end of the world.