August 1, 2012; Arlington, TX, USA; I'm sorry I called your season pedestrian, Nellie, I just can't quit you. Mandatory Credit: Jim Cowsert-US PRESSWIRE
And that's why we watch baseball, folks, because Tuesday I was ready to burn The Ballpark down and today I want to name my first born child Nelson Cruz Mitch Moreland Elvis Andrus Morris.
Richard Durrett seduced me by saying there was a feeling in the Rangers clubhouse before the 10th inning that hadn't been present in two months. I thought he was going to say the feeling was "healthy forearm and/or elbow ligaments," but it turns out the feeling was "not sucking." Durrett also has his rapid reax, where he notes Darvish's continuing problems with walks and Nelson Cruz's offensive and defensive heroics. As a matter of fact, ESPN Dallas wasn't content to just shame Darvish briefly in Durrett's post-game column, they have a whole column by David Collier dedicated to Darvish, walks, and walks plaguing Darvish.
Speaking of Darvish, Gerry Fraley quotes him saying "I have to change." When Darvish identifies his problem (giving up a bunch of walks), he proposes a solution (not walking people). He doesn't say that hitters know he's going to throw pitches out of the zone and that when he's going well they'll swing at them anyway. Fraley also has quotes from Ryan Dempster regarding Albert Pujols and points out Dempster's poor career numbers against him, though pointing out a National League pitcher has been vulnerable to Pujols over the last few years is like saying deer have been vulnerable to bullets. According to Evan Grant, Elvis Andrus wasn't worried about losing last night because he can be awesome on demand. Behind the paywall, Grant has a story apparently focusing on Nathan's and Darvish's continuing struggles, but I'm not letting that bring me down.
Joe McIntyre's notes column talks about Dempster's debut having pretty big implications, C.J. Wilson's tips for pitching in the Texas heat, and Neftali Feliz's surgery being "successful," though I would object to that characterization at this point. If I said I was going to give him an experimental procedure to repair his UCL by kicking him in the balls, you wouldn't call the procedure a success right after I kicked him in the balls. You would wait until he pitched again to laud my ball-kicking UCL procedure, unless I performed it on Jonathan Papelbon. There's also a recap by Lyle Spencer, though if you turned this game off in disgust and are relying on a recap you should be kicking yourself.
Jeff Wilson tells us that Neftali Feliz doesn't blame his transition to the rotation for his injury. On a related note, I don't blame my parents' horrible genetics for my clownishly short stature (I blame cigarettes and booze and Paramite dip), it certainly didn't help.
Also, some kid named Mike Olt was called up yesterday. So is this an Elvis Andrus moment? An Adrian Beltre moment? Is Michael Young's new position going to be cheering from the bench while wearing his hat backwards? Jeff Wilson says the Rangers "didn't say" what Olt's role will be during the stretch run, while T.R. Sullivan says they believe Olt will get more playing time than Snyder. Jon Daniels tells Gerry Fraley that the promotion was made to improve the bench, which seems possibly maybe to be a euphemism. I hope. Richard Durrett's post has a quote from Michael Young: "He's a good kid."
Yay! Last night was awesome! Here's a cute girl covering Nicki Minaj on the ukelele.