Ben is off presumably getting ready for his All Hallows' pagan rituals by buying full-sized candy bars for the cool kids and boxes of Sun-Maid raisins for the nerds for tomorrow. Therefore, you're stuck with me again.
But you're also in luck because here's a video about Halloween:
Let's begin with the elephant dressed up like a red bird in the room. Mike Napoli is one win away from winning the World Series against the St. Louis Cardinals - again. Richard Durrett has quotes from Nap about those feels we're all feeling.
"I think about it all the time," Napoli told the newspaper. "I'll be home, sitting on the couch watching baseball, and you always play the what-ifs. What if I called a slider there (to Freese)? Or what if Nelly caught that ball? You go through that all the time. It hurts to this day. It was so close. That's the closest you could possibly be, and I was right there -- twice. For me, it took a while to get over. I don't think I'll ever get over it."
Durrett also continues the Defining Dozen series with moment No. 7: "Marwin Gonzalez...yeah, that's a person." It was Lone Star Ball Coke Corner night at the Maid and Yu Darvish was making his first start of the 2013 season. Yu rewarded us with an amazing performance that fell only a two-out single by someone named Marwin Gonzalez away from being perfect. When we left Minute Maid after the game, we were treated to a flash flood that never felt more apropos.
In an ESPN Insider article, Dan Szymborski takes a look at some of the more difficult impending qualifying offer calls, and, specifically to us, the decision the Rangers must make on Joe Nathan.
Durrett notes that Manny Machado usurped Adrian Beltre for the American League third base Gold Glove Award. Prediction: Next season the Rangers have three or more Gold Glove winners.
Since this has all been sort of bummer news, we could use a laugh. Here's an ESPN Dallas slideshow showing all the weird and wacky ways that the Dallas Cowboys have lost in the last decade or so.
Finally, the DMN asks - Which costume is better: Kliff Kingsbury Kid or Li'l Ron Washington? (It's Li'l Wash, of course. The kid had to shave his head for crying out loud.)