Richard Durrett's Hot Stove Talk looks at Nelson Cruz, and we all know what Nelson Cruz is. He's an attractive girlfriend with whom you've always had incredible sex, but a gypsy fortune teller told you that she would eventually kill her husband. Probably with fire. Obviously, the incredible sex is "walkoffs!" and the gypsy fortune teller is the inexorable march of time in this metaphor, I don't need another letter from Nelson Cruz's attorney.
Jim Bowden takes a look at ten moves that still need to be made, and apparently believes that the only way for the Angels to remove themselves from the hole of onerous contracts they've dug is get themselves a backhoe named Matt Garza.
Matt Harrison's Christmas dinner sounds awfully familiar, with Papa Wash opining "he lost all that fat from the operations."
Finally, in casting about for an apt analogy for signing Nelson Cruz I also considered The Bottle Imp, a story by Robert Louis Stevenson.