Wednesday Morning Links

The glass is round, the jar is round, why do they call it Ovaltine? - USA TODAY Sports

Yu Darvish jokes about Pierzysnki and Andrus, follows up with 10 minute routine about Ovaltine.

Yu Darvish unveiled his sense of humor after Tuesday's intrasquad game, making some jokes about A.J. Pierzysnki being a hothead douchebag and Elvis Andrus having a metal glove, one of which is verbal irony and the other is just observational humor. At least he's not a prop comic.

Neither Lance Berkman nor Adrian Beltre played in Tuesday's intrasquad game. Beltre is being cautious with an inflamed right calf and Berkman will begin playing when the team orders him a Hoveround to drive around the bases.

Jeff Wilson also mentions Beltre's and Berkman's day off, as well as some comments from Washington to the effect that Ian Kinsler is his preferred lead off hitter, and that while his center fielders possess lead off type skills, Leonys Martin and Craig Gentry are too inexperienced and Julio Borbon can "go eat a bag of dicks."

Wilson also has an extended love letter to Kinsler, Andrus, bunting and base stealing.

David Murphy says that Lance Berkman "doesn't have a filter," as Berkman was doing some World Series scoreboarding, although Lance Berkman is no Lenny Bruce.

Dave Magadan has some blandly positive things to say about what the Rangers need to do to improve on last season, and Ian Kinsler has some blandly positive things to say about Dave Magadan.

Here, without any accompanying commentary, reaction shots, or accompanying footage of the hitters, is Ron Washington throwing batting practice, and here is 2 minutes of Ron Washington repeatedly saying that Lance Berkman will begin playing when the team feels he's ready.

I have never had much feeling about Matt Harrison one way or the other, but this profile of he and his wife Meghan by T.R. Sullivan paints a picture of a genuinely pleasant and folkspun couple. The picture that caps the link on the Rangers MLB.com page includes a picture of Harrison, his wife, and his daughter Addie, who looks way more like Matt Harrison than I thought was possible for a two year old girl. It's hard to imagine, after reading that profile, that Meghan Harrison would commission a screenplay about her husband.

Sullivan also has a notes column, wherein we learn that Washington was happy with Martin Perez's outing yesterday and that Wilmer Font is being limited to flat ground work due to shoulder inflammation.

You guys know how I love slideshows! The DMN has one about Joe Nathan's favorite things, and if you're hoping that his favorite cartoon is something edgy like Aeon Flux you are going to be sadly disappointed.

Speaking of Joe Nathan, he is apparently like a video game area effect weapon because he has a limited number of uses, so they are starting him slow and he will be about a week behind the other pitchers this spring. Of course, at the end of last season Washington said he was going to limit his usage and then rode his arm like it was Sasha Grey, so find yourself a grain of salt.

Evan Grant said, in a chat on Tuesday, that the only way he sees Julio Borbon making the 25 man is as a 5th outfielder until the fifth starting pitcher is needed, and then only as a ploy to sneak him through waivers. Whatever it is that you did, Julio, I hope you're very sorry.

Over the winter, Nelson Cruz worked on adding a leg kick to his swing as a timing mechanism. Says Dave Magadan, "I'm not a big fan." Maybe we don't need to worry about a Cruz suspension or a Cruz injury, but simply Cruz being terrible. We'll always have the season of walkoffs, Nellie.

Richard Durrett has some comments from Alexi Ogando working on a changeup. He says that now that he's going to be returning to the rotation, it's more important than ever for him to have a pitch to throw to lefties.

Richard Durrett has notes from the intrasquad game, including some extended comments about Alexi Ogando throwing his changeup.

Josh Hamilton, if Tim MacMahon says you're being a douche, you're probably being a douche. If there's a member of the Dallas sports media machine that could survive a Daubert challenge on douchery, he's the one.

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