Nick Tepesch is no Roy Oswalt. He pitched into the 8th inning in his debut, posting a WHIP of 0.95 and striking out 5.
Anthony Andro has a writeup of the young Tepesch's outing last night, and flirts with danger by invoking Scott Feldman. When you say his name three times in a column, Derek Lowe gets a spot start.
The random narrative table dictates that all local media stories about Nick Tepesh will mention his ... rolls dice, consults Monstrous Compendium, 2d... poise, and Drew Davison doesn't disappoint in his game story as he spins the tale of a wee lad of 6'4" who walked three in the second inning and bounced back to get the big W.
Matt Harrison has been dealing with lower back issues for the last two weeks and his status for Thursday is uncertain, meaning someone must have mentioned Scott Feldman a third time.
Drew Davison's notes column comes not to praise Julio Borbon, but to bury him.
T.R. Sullivan''s notes column also warbles a dirge for poor Borbon, who stupidly selected the Ron Washington Irritant perk at character creation, and discusses Matt Harrison's bad back.
Sullivan also writes up Tepesh's night, mentioning both his poise and composure as required by statute.
Joe Maddon looks at his What Would Ozzie Guillen Do bracelet and does the opposite.
Jon Daniels says that Julio Borbon handled his designation for assignment as well could be expected, which isn't surprising because now he can play for an organization whose requirements for centerfield do not preclude players start with J- and end with -ulio Borbon.
Evan Grant looks at your internet-addled attention span and said, "you guys need a bulleted list-style summary of the major issues from last night's game." He also isn't going to be the only reporter that talks about Nick Tepesch without mentioning his poise.
Hey, are you concerned about overworking your elderly closer in non-save situations? Well, Ron Washington isn't!
It appears that any time Craig Gentry or Leonys Martin get played to maximize platoon advantages will be pure happenstance
Derek Holland says he has his changeup back..
Finally, here's a link to some drug seizure items the Jacksonville (FL) Police Department are auctioning off, which includes (19-21) some diamond jewelry that commemorates the Spielberg opus E.T.