Oh, Rangers, I can't stay mad at you.
Jeff Wilson's recap focuses on Matt Garza and his postgame news conference, wherein he laid to bed any suspicions you might have had that Garza is a fan of losing. T.R. Sullivan's postgame story also sings Garza's praises, not to mention unlikely heroes A.J. Pierzynski, who drove in both runs against lefty Pettitte, and David Murphy, who is terrible. Evan Grant says that Matt Garza's debut was reminiscent of John Burkett's, which makes Garza the Dr. Wow of intermediate quality between Cliff Lee's Dr. Pepper and Ryan Dempster's Dr. Thunder (seriously, Dr. Thunder, 8 Facebook likes? That's less than chlamydia). Todd Wills has his rapid reactions and compares Matt Garza to Cliff Lee and Todd Stottlemyre.
Jeff Wilson has a notes column where we learn that (surprise!) the Ranges are in the market for a right handed bat, and that Lance Berkman sees a return to game action in his "distant future," a future we can all assume involves medical wizardry indistinguishable from magic.
T.R. Sullivan's notes also talk about right-handed bats, particularly Alex Rios, and Matt Harrison feeling good after his first bullpen session.
Evan Grant tells us that Neil Ramirez is going on the DL with a biceps issue, though it's unlikely to keep him from going to the Cubs. He also says that Nelson Cruz has some tough decisions to make about appealing any possible BioGenesis decision.
Todd Wills' notes column tells us that the guy who finished a game with a ruptured testicle is somehow managing to play well through the pain, and that Lance Berkman's future is a riddle wrapped in an enigma stuffed inside his gimpy knees.
Finally, a UK team has designed a mission to Mars, complete with artificial gravity thanks to two tethered ship components and a magnetosphere provided by superconductors.