Richard Durrett continues his spring questions by asking who will be the closer in 2014, if you're the type that is concerned about bullpen roles and hasn't heard Adam's speech about the best reliever needing to be used in the highest leverage situations like 1,000 times.
Durrett also has the quotes from Michael Young about homosexuals in the locker room where Michael Young does that thing he does where he says all the right things and cartoon hearts shoot out of beat reporters' heads.
Anthony Andro has a story about Nolan Ryan joining the Asros, where he is expected to immediately step into the number two spot in the rotation.
Gerry Fraley speculates that Nolan Ryan's new job may give new meaning to the intrastate rivalry but probably not because the Astros are still terriblle.
Fraley also has a story about Pudge Rodriguez serving as general manager of Mayaguez, the Puerto Rican representative in the Caribbean World Series.
Finally, scientists believe they have found the purpose of the appendix, which is to store a reserve of your normal gut biota in case you poop it all out.