FanPost

2/6/14 OT 2 Ice Force Level 2


Welcome to our second ever live weather blog, where the news is made up and the weather doesn't really matter. Here are the facts -- it's cold. How cold, you ask? Well, imaginary internet person, it's really very cold. Cold enough that, were Jack Nicholson to head outside with an axe right now and encounter a complex maze, he would be unlikely to survive long enough to murder anyone.

Do we have facts for you, figures, maybe? No. We do not. We are not competent meteorologists, or even journalists. What we do have for you, though, is rampant speculation, self-pity, some pictures of snow, and if you're lucky, there will be a dog or two frolicking in a winter wonderland. So stay tuned.

WFAA's wonderfully named Bryan Titsworth reports that there are no delays at DFW Airport right now, although there is some serious de-icing going on.

Dallas County have also just announced there will be no refuse collections today --

"Due to deteriorating weather conditions Sanitation Services is suspending collection services (garbage & recycling) for Thursday, February 6, 2014"

So, if your dinner last night smelled really bad and you want it gone, you'll just have to bury it in snow for the next two days, because they won't be around until Saturday.

In more serious news, the wheel on my computer mouse has stopped working. Speculation on whether it has iced over or not is rampant within the Cleaver household, with opinion split.

*****

11:50

We at the Dallas Observer would like to announce that we've hired our own weather forecaster. He will read you the news in simple words, while illustrating said weather with appropriate clothing. Here he is.

rsz_dogeweather.jpg
dogeweather.com
Such weather.

He will only accept payment in milkbones.


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