You know things have gone very, very wrong when discussing Prince Fielder's glistening, naked body is preferable to discussing any other aspect of the Rangers.
Remember how cute and ridiculous the Silver Boot used to seem when there was never any chance that the Astros would win it? Yeah, so does Matt Mosley. He takes a look at the disaster that is the season and advises that the team needs to do a better job of preparing for the worst, perhaps by having an entire 25 man roster of major league starters in cryogenic storage.
Anthony Andro says the Rangers were doomed from the start last night, though doomed seems a charitable appraisal for a game started by whoever that was last night.
Oh, yeah, his name was Phil Irwin, Thanks, T.R. Sullivan. Now I know the name to add to Arya Stark's endless list of people to murder.
According to Sullivan's notebook, Jim Adduci is on pace to break his pinkie finger again sometime in the next couple of weeks and, since we're sucking and nostalgic for the comparatively fat times of the early 2000's, Soriano is available to DH for whoevs.
Tim Cowlishaw wants to pick your scabs so he pontificates about who is the better team going forward, Rangers or Astros.
Jon Heyman lists 60 players who could potentially be traded and (look away, Adam) among them are Elvis Andrus, Joakim Soria and Jason Frasor.
Shin-Soo Choo answered some questions on Twitter yesterday, but not the one I asked. That's bullcrap, I think we all want to know if the team is filming the latest installment of the Final Destination franchise.
Who or what is a Jake Smolinski, you ask? Evan Grant has an answer for you: he's just some guy.
Evan observes that Phil Irwin became the 12th pitcher to start a game this season, but points out that 2004 was worse.
Yu Darvish was hit in the head during batting practice because apparently some of you haven't repented your sins.
Randy Jennings at ESPN has a notes column about Smolinski and Shin-Soo Choo and Monday night's game taking three hours because, as Clevenger noted, misery makes time pass much more slowly.
Jennings also reacted rapidly to last night's game and also had a post-game story.
Finally, more validation of Clevenger's theory, with scientists saying that small mammals with fast metabolisms perceive time as passing more slowly.