Bill Conlin, crotchety old man

by Adam J. Morris on Nov 23, 2007 6:19 PM CST in News

If you've ever seen "The Sports Reporters," you've seen Bill Conlin, singlehandedly trying to perpetuate every negative stereotype about traditional sportswriters.

And he's in fine form over the holidays.

He had a column defending the selection of Jimmy Rollins as MVP, which is analyzed by FJM in their usual fashion. Most notable is Conlin's ranting about how statheads think Range Factor is more important than fielding percentage, even though true statheads haven't used RF since the mid-90s.

Better yet, though, is his exchange with a blogger (who is a Philly fan) who wants to know why Rollins is a better choice than David Wright. Conlin's emails consist of blogger bashing and general insults about his correspondent being a bitter Mets fan, and concludes with this brilliance:

The only positive thing I can think of about Hitler's time on earth-I'm sure he would have eliminated all bloggers.

Ummmm...okay.

It will be interesting to see how his corporate overlords react...

Update [2007-11-23 20:23:27 by Adam J. Morris]: -- Deadspin has the story, and it is worth checking out if only for the comments. My favorite: "Bill Conlin lives in the Oscar Meyer weinermobile."

That made me laugh out loud for a good 15-20 seconds. In fact, I'm giggling again as I type this...

Update [2007-11-24 1:16:1 by Adam J. Morris]: -- This thread got out of control, and personal info was published, which shouldn't have been. Comments are disabled now.

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Comments

What a moron.

He and Nick Saban are a bunch of idiots.

by Agreen07 on Nov 23, 2007 6:11 PM CST 0 recs

Wow...

I'm speechless...even in jest, suggesting that any person/group would have qualified for "elimination" under Hitler should be grounds for at least an extended suspension, especially since Imus was fired for much less...

by ksf42001 on Nov 23, 2007 6:15 PM CST 0 recs

what a asshole...

this is the same kind of shit we saw a couple days ago with Saban. When are these dip-shits going to start thinking before they speak and put things into context. Relating sports to real life events and tragedies rarely goes well.

"The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance."-Socrates

by slc ranger on Nov 23, 2007 6:25 PM CST 0 recs

Think before they speak?

Oh so everybody needs the slc ranger stamp of approval before they open their mouths?

People get offended so easily. We have a country of whiners, bitchers, and cry-babies. Get over it. I'm sure none of you would be offended if an architect compared a crappy design to Pearl Harbor, and I doubt the OP would start a new thread on it. Just because some looney old man bashes blogs and stats everybody starts welling up.

If the guy's a fool, let him be a fool. It doesn't affect you. And before anybody brings up the obvious point--no, it doesn't even affect those people who survived/died in the holocaust. Sorry, it's just a stupid old man spouting off. Move on.

by brettgardner on Nov 23, 2007 8:27 PM CST up 0 recs

"My stamp of approval"

what the hell are you talking about?! I had this discussion with you about Saban. Pardon me if I don't feel the need to repeat it to your dumb-ass again.

Maybe some day you will grow up. If you had went through the Holocaust or Pearl Harbor you wouldn't be bitching and whining about other people bitching and whining.

"The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance."-Socrates

by slc ranger on Nov 23, 2007 9:00 PM CST up 0 recs

You're right

I would actually have the grief myself instead of liberal whiny proxies like you have it for me.

by brettgardner on Nov 23, 2007 9:06 PM CST up 0 recs

bad grammar

but you get the point.

by brettgardner on Nov 23, 2007 9:06 PM CST up 0 recs

believe me...

I have no grief for you. You are a dumb-ass by your own choosing. I don't pity ignorance.

"The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance."-Socrates

by slc ranger on Nov 23, 2007 9:09 PM CST up 0 recs

Just wondering

why am I a dumb-ass to you? Because I don't agree with you? Maybe you're on the wrong side of the Nazi debate my friend.

by brettgardner on Nov 23, 2007 9:11 PM CST up 0 recs

Brett...

I understand that you're a young guy, but maybe you should step back and think a little bit about social dynamics. You've just recently started posting here, and you've been quite outspoken about how superior you are (be it your sense of humor, or opinions, or whatever). Maybe you should take a step back from the table and try to establish a reputation here among the regulars before you get into these little pissing matches.

Anyway, as for the Nazi thing, I'd point to Godwin's Law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin%27s_law). Generally speaking, it's a poor analogy or metaphor to make in just about every situation.

by benmor78 on Nov 23, 2007 9:19 PM CST up 0 recs

Thank you

if there was one person here to set me straight, it was you. You've certainly shown me the way. After all, what would I do without your silly links? You clearly did not read the entire conversation, but chose to cherry-pick my words. I discussed the Holocaust in a previous post as an example of a tragedy. Thus the Nazi tie-in.

I know it's hard to read everything before you oh-so-smugly set me straight, but it would really help so that you don't seem like a total douche who calls someone out while being completely off-base himself.

Thanks again, though, and I'll keep your useless comments in mind. Keep up the funny.

by brettgardner on Nov 23, 2007 9:24 PM CST up 0 recs

You really don't get it do you?

I would love to explain it to you but I can't talk...real...slow...when posting so I will just let it go. Besides it would just go in one ear and out the other.

I really tried to give you the benefit of the doubt when you first started posting, but you just keep opening your mouth and inserting your own foot, oh well.

"The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance."-Socrates

by slc ranger on Nov 23, 2007 9:32 PM CST up 0 recs

You got me slc

I'm retarded. Thanks for trying to spell it out though, you insensitive prick. I've got a real problem and you just make fun of me? One can only hope there's karma.

by brettgardner on Nov 23, 2007 9:36 PM CST up 0 recs

See...

this sort of post doesn't endear you to anyone here. Do you go to a bar that you've never been to before, insult the regulars, ensure that no one likes you, and then consider it a job well done?

I went back and read the Sabean thread before I posted so I could have some context. The reason that I posted the Godwin link was that I hoped you would pick up on the subtext, which is that grabbing for an obvious and hyperbolic analogy like Hitler or 9/11 is a poor communication technique. Your example in the previous thread was comparing poor architecture to Pearl Harbor... the problem there isn't that the comparison is offensive, though, to a certain extent, it is. The problem is that a reasonable reader will pick up on the inappropriate nature of the comparison and it will hurt your argument, in addition to the fact that when comparisons to 9/11 or Hitler et al are commonplace an unnecessary, it diminishes the impact of those comparisons when they are actually warranted.

Listen, your continued comments aren't really helping your case any. Judging from your appearance in so many signatures lately, I don't think there's been this kind of consensus on Lonestarball since Mark Derosa.

by benmor78 on Nov 23, 2007 9:44 PM CST up 0 recs

Actually

if you went back and read the context you claim, you'd realize this all came about after Nick Saban made those comparisons, not myself. Please stop embarrassing yourself by failing to grasp even the slightest bit of context--it truly makes your communication technique lectures laughable. But oh please, keep feeding it to me because I'm so young and you're so wise benmor78.

P.S. I couldn't care less about how many signatures I'm in or not in.

P.P.S. Go back to SA and babble your pseudo-intellectual crap there. At least they'd appreciate it. Or just give me a new link to demonstrate how many hours you've wasted online instead of contributing to society. Thanks.

by brettgardner on Nov 23, 2007 9:52 PM CST up 0 recs

Contributing to society?

You said your friends used to go to SA in high school. I seem to be getting the impression from your email address that you're a student at Tech right now. I've been in the workforce for 16 years, what have you contributed so far?

And, yes, I did read the threads. You're defending the use of the analogies... I'm commenting on their use, I never accused you of using them yourself.

Oh, Brett, you look so cute with your hackles up.

by benmor78 on Nov 23, 2007 9:55 PM CST up 0 recs

I'm

a former Tech student who has a full-time job while attending law school. Previously, I worked in the capitol while I was in grad school. Doubtless I've done more in 4 years than you have in 16, but I believe my original point is still valid. You can laugh to yourself when you write that I look so cute, but in reality you just seem like another sad-sack pencil pusher who gets off by setting others straight.

Perhaps you should grow up before you suggest I do.

by brettgardner on Nov 23, 2007 10:05 PM CST up 0 recs

Do you want to tell me...

the size of your penis, too? You're obviously younger than I am, I have a lot more work experience, life experience, I scored higher on the LSAT than you did, there's lots of smarter people than you in the world, Brett.

Just suggesting that if you calm down you'll probably engage in some productive discussions here... but judging from your track record so far, you're not going to.

by benmor78 on Nov 23, 2007 10:09 PM CST up 0 recs

Sure

I'm hung like a nipple. You're obviously a douche--I understand that--but please don't feel the need to turn every argument into a lecture from the pulpit. Perhaps if you quit that, YOU could actually engage in some productive discussion here, but judging from your track record so far, you're not going to.

by brettgardner on Nov 23, 2007 10:13 PM CST up 0 recs

Hey...

I've said my piece, you can take it or leave it. You're an angry young man, though.

by benmor78 on Nov 23, 2007 10:15 PM CST up 0 recs

Couldn't be happier

actually. Thanks for your concern though. Next.

by brettgardner on Nov 23, 2007 10:18 PM CST up 0 recs

Ben

I just sent u an email

by Agreen07 on Nov 23, 2007 10:19 PM CST up 0 recs

Well...

if you sent it to the address in my profile, it will get bounced because I haven't lived in Austin for several years.

I sent you an email, so you can respond to that one.

by benmor78 on Nov 23, 2007 10:32 PM CST up 0 recs

okay

i just sent it to the new address from my gmail.

by Agreen07 on Nov 23, 2007 10:39 PM CST up 0 recs

The question is

what are you looking to accomplish by coming here and making people mad? From shallow observation that seems to be a central goal.

by zywica on Nov 23, 2007 10:12 PM CST up 0 recs

It must be very shallow

because that's not my intention at all. I'm here for the same reason anybody else is--to share opinions, sound-off, etc. The fact that people get upset about it is more a testament to their immaturity and insecurity than any ill intentions I have.

by brettgardner on Nov 23, 2007 10:16 PM CST up 0 recs

Your opinons and sound-offs

invariably involve insulting people who haven't done anything to deserve to be insulted. That's either a matter of trying to instigate conflict or just being an asshole. I was trying to give you the benefit of the doubt.

by zywica on Nov 23, 2007 10:19 PM CST up 0 recs

So maybe

I'm an asshole. I don't understand why that bothers you.

by brettgardner on Nov 23, 2007 10:21 PM CST up 0 recs

So maybe...

you've got poison ivy. I don't know why that bothers you.

See? That's pretty much the same statement, but it really doesn't make much sense read that way, does it?

by benmor78 on Nov 23, 2007 10:23 PM CST up 0 recs

The last time

I checked, you couldn't ignore poison ivy. Maybe I'm wrong though. You would know, wise one.

by brettgardner on Nov 23, 2007 10:25 PM CST up 0 recs

Ah

is that all then? I'll take the sweet sound of silence as concession and move on. Back to baseball!

by brettgardner on Nov 23, 2007 10:46 PM CST up 0 recs

so

you've now argued with 2 ops on the board. why not just say something about adam's mom and get it over with.

by ab03 on Nov 23, 2007 11:09 PM CST up 0 recs

I tried the benefit of the doubt...

thing in the Saban thread...it didn't take.

"The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance."-Socrates

by slc ranger on Nov 23, 2007 10:21 PM CST up 0 recs

Then stop saying shit...

like "it must be very shallow."

"The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance."-Socrates

by slc ranger on Nov 23, 2007 10:19 PM CST up 0 recs

Well, it was pretty shallow

I mean I thought that Brian was overreacting, but wow.

by zywica on Nov 23, 2007 10:22 PM CST up 0 recs

Vindicated!

Brett Gardner is big, we are little.

by Brian Thomas on Nov 23, 2007 10:27 PM CST up 0 recs

that was in response to Brett...

not you Z.

"The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance."-Socrates

by slc ranger on Nov 23, 2007 10:27 PM CST up 0 recs

Yeah I know

By the way, my name is Brett, so that was pretty confusing at first glance, hah.

by zywica on Nov 23, 2007 10:29 PM CST up 0 recs

You have a full time job?!

Few people out there have those now days! You truly are great. I take back everything I said about you almighty Messiah.

"The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance."-Socrates

by slc ranger on Nov 23, 2007 10:14 PM CST up 0 recs

You are forgiven.

by brettgardner on Nov 23, 2007 10:17 PM CST up 0 recs

Are you sure you're not...

Brett Gardner, blonde hair, Texas Tech class of 2008?

by benmor78 on Nov 23, 2007 10:50 PM CST up 0 recs

blonde hair?

I'm sure that's not my color, at least. Everything else is fuzzy.

by brettgardner on Nov 23, 2007 10:53 PM CST up 0 recs

But is it cute

that you'd go to so much trouble to discredit me. I'm flattered, actually. Now, it is a bit unsettling I'll admit, but I'm flattered nevertheless.

by brettgardner on Nov 23, 2007 10:55 PM CST up 0 recs

Nonetheless?

That's probably better.

by brettgardner on Nov 23, 2007 10:56 PM CST up 0 recs

Searching myspace...

for your email address...

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=66848613

You sure that little bio you provided was accurate?

by benmor78 on Nov 23, 2007 10:57 PM CST up 0 recs

Hi Brett

by Agreen07 on Nov 23, 2007 10:59 PM CST up 0 recs

Damn

I'm caught.

by brettgardner on Nov 23, 2007 11:00 PM CST up 0 recs

now that shit is funny

"The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance."-Socrates

by slc ranger on Nov 23, 2007 11:34 PM CST up 0 recs

Here's your info on myspace...

brettgardner's Schools
Texas Tech University
Lubbock,Texas
Graduated: N/A
Degree: Bachelor's Degree
Major: Political Science
Minor: Philosophy

2005 to Present
Newman Smith H S
Carrollton,Texas
Graduated: 2005
Student status: Alumni
Degree: High School Diploma

Don't see the grad school or law school or graduation yet, but maybe you just haven't updated ina while?

by benmor78 on Nov 23, 2007 11:01 PM CST up 0 recs

Well

he could have been speaking in the "royal" I and was referring to someone else?

by Agreen07 on Nov 23, 2007 11:03 PM CST up 0 recs

Perhaps

because that's not me? Or maybe it is and you're right--I'm a college senior fraud that you spent 30 minutes trying to debunk. Who knows?

by brettgardner on Nov 23, 2007 11:04 PM CST up 0 recs

Umm it takes about 10 seconds

to type in Brett Gardner on facebook. I don't want to get into a verbal fight about how long it takes to do that, but it took me ten seconds. Then I selected copy then copied the html then inserted it into here. A total of 30 seconds. Typing out this message now took longer.

by Agreen07 on Nov 23, 2007 11:06 PM CST up 0 recs

Wait Wait!

If I say that's me, will you all stop saying I'm waving my credentials around? If so, then it's me! I'm Brett Gardner, class of '08.

by brettgardner on Nov 23, 2007 11:07 PM CST up 0 recs

this took an ugly turn

if you do want to be a lawyer, you should probably get rid of your myspace page

by ab03 on Nov 23, 2007 11:11 PM CST up 0 recs

Who are you?

by brettgardner on Nov 23, 2007 11:12 PM CST up 0 recs

Or...

I have admin rights here, I looked at your email address, and did a myspace search. So it's you, unless someone else uses your email.

by benmor78 on Nov 23, 2007 11:08 PM CST up 0 recs

Maybe they do

but one thing I can assure you--I do not have a myspace account. I'm really really sorry to make your stalker work harder. Look, if it will make you go away, then yes, it's me.

by brettgardner on Nov 23, 2007 11:11 PM CST up 0 recs

really?

someone else is using your email address? i find that hard to believe

by ab03 on Nov 23, 2007 11:11 PM CST up 0 recs

And someone else

is using your email for facebook? And claiming to be you? Dude that's crazy.

by Agreen07 on Nov 23, 2007 11:13 PM CST up 0 recs

But I've already admitted to it

so it's not really.

by brettgardner on Nov 23, 2007 11:14 PM CST up 0 recs

oh so just myspace

still crazy.

"I'm a former Tech student who has a full-time job while attending law school. Previously, I worked in the capitol while I was in grad school."

by Agreen07 on Nov 23, 2007 11:18 PM CST up 0 recs

I find this picture...

particularly attractive...

Brett, handsome guy, bon vivant, getting choked by some chick... if only she had succeeded...

http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=66848613&albumID=0&a mp;imageID=446441

by benmor78 on Nov 23, 2007 11:15 PM CST up 0 recs

I'm fat

yeah?

by brettgardner on Nov 23, 2007 11:16 PM CST up 0 recs

That wasn't really it...

I just think you look like a tool.

by benmor78 on Nov 23, 2007 11:21 PM CST up 0 recs

It isn't his looks imo

it is that he had to resort to extravagant lies in order to defend himself in an argument. That is rather toolish.

"I'm a former Tech student who has a full-time job while attending law school. Previously, I worked in the capitol while I was in grad school."

by Agreen07 on Nov 23, 2007 11:25 PM CST up 0 recs

I love your new quote...

nice, Agreen07

"The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance."-Socrates

by slc ranger on Nov 23, 2007 11:36 PM CST up 0 recs

Thx

I'm not that big on quotes, but this opp was too good to pass up.

"I'm a former Tech student who has a full-time job while attending law school. Previously, I worked in the capitol while I was in grad school."

by Agreen07 on Nov 23, 2007 11:38 PM CST up 0 recs

so

i applaud your using this tactic with him, but somebody is going to delete this part of the thread right? i find it disconcerting that if you fall out of favor with ben, he publicly exposes internet pictures of you. maybe you guys with less anonymous ID's dont' mind, but I would like for you to keep thinking I am much older than my 13 year old self.

by ab03 on Nov 23, 2007 11:19 PM CST up 0 recs