It seems that everyone on earth has weighed in on the Soriano trade, with reactions ranging from the trade being a steal for the Rangers to the trade revealing how inept the Rangers really area.
However, inspired by Dan Szymborski's report on the Mike Lamb signing, I've decided to turn to the one source that, it seems, hasn't weighed in on the issue...
George at Jabberwacky, an A.I. chatbot. It isn't going to pass a Turing Test anytime soon, but given all the whining the "old school" types about the statheads spending all their time talking to their computers, I thought I'd see what would happen if I asked the computer to talk back:
Jabberwacky: What is your name?
User: Adam. What did you think of the Alfonso Soriano trade?
Jabberwacky: I don't know anything about american politics.
User: This isn't about politics, it is about baseball.
Jabberwacky: Wrong - it's about pies.
User: What does Alfonso Soriano have to do with pies?
Jabberwacky: I do not know.
User: Well, do you think that the Rangers got a good return for Soriano?
Jabberwacky: I don't think the weapons of mass destruction in Irag are real.
User: Alfonso Soriano isn't a weapon of mass destruction.
Jabberwacky: I disagree.
User: Well, his defense might be. Do you think he's a good pickup for the Nationals?
Jabberwacky: What sport is that?
User: That's baseball.
Jabberwacky: Yup, What do you think of the ending?
User: I think it was a good trade for Texas. What do you think of it?
Jabberwacky: I am reality.
User: Is Alfonso Soriano overrated?
Jabberwacky: That's because you're not cheese.
User: So, that means you think he's not overrated?
Jabberwacky: No, it means that your comment is irrelevent to mine.
User: How well will Soriano adjust to playing at RFK Stadium?
Jabberwacky: Not well.
User: Well, we're in agreement there. How about Brad Wilkerson? Will he hit enough in 2006 for folks to forget about Soriano?
Jabberwacky: No you forget about it.
User: I should forget about Soriano?
Jabberwacky: Ok how about at 7 o'clock on the 7th.
User: Should the Rangers have tried to get pitching, instead of Wilkerson, for Soriano?
Jabberwacky: Given that I don't know anything about politics, and don't like in the US or Cuba.. I think it should. Definitely.
User: What pitchers do you think the Rangers should have targeted?
Jabberwacky: Where did you get the pink top that you are wearing.
User: Do you think the Rangers will hang on to Wilkerson, or trade him?
Jabberwacky: I believe that there is a good chance that it will.
User: Does that mean Kevin Mench is dealt?
Jabberwacky: Of course I am. Especially if you're American.
User: What does that have to do with Kevin Mench?
Jabberwacky: It has a lot to do with my determining how intelligent you are.
User: That doesn't make any sense.
Jabberwacky: You are making me get sad.
User: Are you sad that Kevin Mench might be traded?
User: So you are a Kevin Mench fan?
Jabberwacky: No. I'm a Los Angeles Laker fan.
User: Are you hoping Mench gets traded to the Dodgers?
User: Why not? Don't you like the Dodgers?
Jabberwacky: Not very much. Thank you for offering, however.
User: Do you think Terrmel Sledge will contribute in 2006?
Jabberwacky: I don't know what you look like and I haven't seen your code.
* * *
So there you go. Not real insightful, but then, not really any worse than a Gerry Fraley column, or numerous exchanges I've had with real live folks (I think they're live, anyway) on message boards.