With apologies to The Nails...(and if you don't know who they are, this will make no sense...
Teixeira was a power bat
He hit until the bitter end
Nix was a different type
He told the doc to stick it in
DeRosa was good-field no-hit
I was afraid of guys like that
Barajas called the pitches
Crouching down like a catcher sat
Standridge was a faceless guy
An all-too-fleeting memory
Torres was a speed freak
But at the plate, misery
Brocail had a special way
Of causing things to go all wrong
Botts was here just two days
He was a Ranger not too long
Dominguez was an archetype
Of how to bring down Chiti's wrath
Karsay thought Frisco second best
To being on the Rangers staff
Blalock was an all-star snub
He really had a good first half
Dickey thought the knuckleball
Would get him back upon the path
Almanzar was another guy
Who learned to say "Tommy John"
McDougall liked to warm the bench
Was here a while, now is gone
Dellucci learned to draw a walk
At a rather advanced age
Astacio was also old
At last the team turned that page
Soriano hit real well
Inspired by those New York lights
Drese was on the waiver wire
Though all said not cuz of the fight
Mahay struggled all year long
And the team's not satisfied
Tejera came and went so fast
He never even said goodbye
Colbrunn has a house in Zona
Where he goes on with his rehab
Baldwin had a house in Maryland
The Rangers thought, he's worth a stab
Gryboski thought he was a Brave
Til he came to fill the empty pen
Wasdin was in Oklahoma
Until they brought him back again
Eraser's life has not been simple
On the roster, then he's off
Laird's life has been complicated
Victim of management's plot
Riley went to surgery
Got to get his elbow straight
Young epitomized the season
Tagged by Kendall at the plate
Matthews played some center field
That's his father's legacy
Wilson was this season's Narron
In a crazy kind of urgency
Regilio liked to pitch
For Rangers, Hawks, Rangers again
Benoit's strange obsession
Was for only pitching from the pen
Rodriguez was a former Dodger
Who got trouble with pitches up
A-Gone's trouble was his hitting
Didn't get on base enough
Alomar had no such problems
Spent a day a week behind home
Cordero comes in in the 9th
Knows that he's out there alone
Allen stuck around awhile
Buck liked the way he wore his socks
Rogers, who went all nuts
Got to know lawyers and cops
Chan Ho gave up lots of hits
Makes one be a nihilist
Menchie was much more my style
He's perfect for a song like this
Hidalgo went like 40 days
Hitting nothing the whole way
Chris Young, new deal, more pay
And pitching like he wants to stay
Kam Loe came from round two-oh
Teams that passed, think they missed
Kinsler, he needs a chance
I chose him to end this list