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Normally I wear protection...

...but then I thought, "When am I gonna make it back to Haiti?"

From the Boston Globe:

The last missing piece [for the Red Sox] is the closer. The Sox may try to wrest Mike Gonzalez from the Pirates, or give Chan Ho Park, another Boras client, a chance.

Chan Ho Park, closing for the BoSox.

There are a few body parts I'd give up to make this happen. My appendix, tonsils, and two remaining wisdom teeth, at least.

The thought of the Ho closing in Boston, dealing with the fans, the media...

It is things like this that make being a baseball fan worthwhile.

Please, please, please...God, Buddha, Zoroaster, the Virgin Mary, the ghost of Branch Rickey...I'm imploring any and all of you to make this happen.