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The Sports Guy on The Brawl

There's a new mailbag column up from Bill Simmons today. Which shouldn't be surprising to anyone who has been following him of late, since he's been mailing it in since the end of the NCAA Tournament. I'm just wondering when the official announcement that he's leaving ESPN is coming...

Anyway, "Mailbag" columns are great for a columnist who is mailing it in, since the writer doesn't have to come up with a topic, and since half the column has already been written by your readers. And this week's Simmons mailbag is even a pretty halfass version of a mailbag column anyway.

It disappoints me because, for a while, Simmons was reliably one of the funniest, most entertaining sports columnists I has sort of gotten to be like the last couple of years of "The Far Side," when everyone paid lip service to how good Gary Larson supposedly was, when in reality he had jumped the shark some time ago.

In any case...I am still going to bring up Simmons' latest mailbag, because it features this Q&A on the Scott Feldman/Adam Kennedy imbroglio:

Q: I would like to officially nominate the Adam Kennedy/Scott Feldman slapfest as the sissiest sports fight ever. It looked like Kennedy was trying to scratch Feldman's eyes out rather than punch him, and his helmet actually falls in front of his face as he is unleashing his estrogen rage. Meanwhile, Feldman throws a left chicken wing somewhere into his ribs. I couldn't tell whether there was bad blood between the two teams or Kennedy was upset because Feldman used his pink razor in the shower.
--Ian, Windsor Locks, Conn.

SG: Good e-mail. I loved how Feldman waited until there was two outs in the ninth to throw at Kennedy (only the smallest guy on the Angels). He should have been suspended an extra 10 games just for being a wuss.

Good news is Kennedy and Feldman tearfully make up in the deleted scenes of the "America's Next Top Model -- Season 6" DVD.