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So, yeah

These sorts of games make me wonder why I want to be a fan of a team, at least at the level that I am.  When I think I'd be happier being more of a surface fan, deriving my opinions from sound bites on talk radio and not feeling so emotionally invested in what goes on.

Getting down by a ton early is demoralizing.  Having a good pitching performance, but with an offense that can put no runs on the board, is demoralizing. 

But having a game in hand, a good offensive performance and a stellar starting pitching performance, with what appears to be an outing that will right the ship and keep the team above .500, and have it fall apart by a bullpen meltdown late in the game?

That's a gut punch. 

I'm just glad I wasn't watching the game, was following it on my Blackberry, frantically hitting refresh and hoping against hope the Rangers would find some way to get out of the inning, even though I knew -- I knew -- when Adam Everett singled after being down 0-2 it was a loss.

And I remember listening on the radio in the car, as the Rangers mounted threats, up 4-0, only to see them fizzle out, and thinking, this is going to come back to haunt.

Good grief, I hate games like this. 

All the good feeling I had from the opening series is completely gone right now.