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Mitch Moreland hits decisive homerun because all he knows how to do is win and make grilled cheese sandwiches.

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He's probably still mediocre.
He's probably still mediocre.

These west coast games will definitely screw with your bedtime.

Joe Nathan did his best to raise our blood pressure but a solo homer from Mitch Moreland was enough for the win. Here's a recap from Jeff Wilson, one from T.R. Sullivan,

In Jeff Wilson's notes column, we learn that A.J. Pierzynski thinks the 15 day DL is for sissies (he's ready to play now, dammit!) and that Yu Darvish is not satisfied with his season thus far because his ERA is not 0.00.

For those of you playing "Baseball Cliche Bingo," Mitch Moreland came into spring training this year in the best shape of his life, says there are going to be ups and downs in every season, and that he just wants to go up there and compete. He's still no Chris Davis, amirite ladies?

In T.R. Sullivan's notes column, we learn that Leonys Martin and Yoenis Cespedes have a bromance, Lance Berkamn said he isn't afraid to bunt while cartoon hearts shot out of the top of Ron Washington's head, and Elvis Andrus was just new-boot goofin' when he grabbed his hamstring Monday night.

Justin Grimm says, of his last three outings, that winning is better than losing.

Gerry Fraley, in a notes column that's formatted like the Zimmerman Telegram, tells us that Washington told Andrus to stop running when down 4 runs with the heart of the order coming up and that the Rangers are scouting Japanese RHP Masahiro Tanaka.

Yu Darvish is going to eat Justin Verlander's soul, Ron Washington isn't giving Beltre any time off, and Washington says A.J. Griffin pitched a great game.

Washington also says that you have to trust your gut when deciding whether to give a player a night off..

Finally, the benevolent autocrats in China who value individual human lives highly and would never do anything creepy or fascist mitch or anything are looking into this eugenics stuff all the kids are talking about. Although they might have to build a time machine to perfect their army of mental supermen.