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Thursday A.M. Links

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Rangers praying rain to continue until Derek Holland's next scheduled start and then for it to immediately resume.

USA TODAY Sports

All this depressing rain sure makes me want to look through the newspapers and find something to smile about!

But I probably better avoid Anthony Andro and his "Ian Kinsler will be out for two more weeks" and "Colby Lewis has a family of groundhogs living inside his elbow."

Alas, T.R. Sullivan's notes column doesn't include any soft-focus pieces on Robbie Ross' pet kitty, either, so go ahead and click if you want to read about Kinsler's rib, Colby Lewis' elbow pain or Martin Perez making Saturday's start. If that wasn't bad enough, he also says we have to wait an extra day for Yu Darvish.

Drew Davison touches on all those points and also says Joakim Soria will be pitching a bullpen session on Saturday.

Evan Grant knows how to deliver bad news, as he says that we get to see Jurickson Profar for two more weeks, yay! Because the number two second baseman in the league by WRC+ will be out at least two more weeks, boo!

Of course, Evan can't really sugarcoat Martin Perez trying to rinse the taste of failure from his mouth this coming Saturday or Colby Lewis' holding pattern.

Well, that's enough of that. Let's talk about something fun.

Lance Berkman is not crazy about being called Fat Elvis because he doesn't consider that flattering

Randy Galloway wants you to gather 'round ol' Grandpappy to hear him spin a yarn about the Rangers acquiring Cliff Lee at the deadline once again.

Maybe someday the Rangers will play baseball again..

In the meantime, here's a summary of a study on autistic children that seems to indicate that there are specific detectable brain wave patterns as early as two years old that appear to predict language, behavioral and cognitive development at four and six years old.