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Boston to right of them, Boston to left of them, Boston in front of them, volley'd and thunder'd

Bob DeChiara-USA TODAY Sports

Well, that was a massacre.

Jeff Wilson has a recap, if you're the sort of sicko that's into that sort of thing.

T.R. Sullivan says that Grimm was off his game, which seems a rather mild way of putting it.

Todd Wills chooses to focus on the fact that David Murphy is a better pitcher than Michael Kirkman.

The big news coming down the pipe involves Nelson Cruz and performance enhancing drugs, though unfortunately he might be getting suspended for the crappy stuff he got from the Biogenesis anti-aging clinic and not from whatever it is he's doing this year that appears to be working. Yes, apparently, Biogenesis founder Tony Bosch is not the type who holds the drug-dealer/client relationship as one as inviolate as confessor/penitent. Cruz says he "cannot say anything" about the Outside the Lines report that came down during the game, according to Todd Wills. T.R. Sullivan's piece on the scandal includes a quote from Vernon Wells, likely because as a recent member of both the Yankees and Angels he could survive a Daubert challenge on the subject of "teams desperately in need of an anti-aging clinic." And, finally, both the Rangers and Cruz say they haven't spoken to MLB or MLB investigators.

Boy, last night was full of joy, wasn't it?

The Rangers will pay tribute to the citizens of West, Texas on July 6.

T.R. Sullivan has some notes for you, where we learn that Jeff Baker is happy to be a Ranger.

Adrian Beltre tried to talk his way into the lineup yesterday and Washington, perhaps with visions of 2011's six week DL stint dancing in his head, said "no."

Finally, researchers have developed a personality test to categorize chimpanzees into five different behavioral types. The article doesn't specify which personality types will rip off your testicles or bite your face off, but the safe bet is "all of them."