So, someone initiated a conversation with me the other day by asking if I had seen the video for Shake it Off. That's a stupid question, because that video is on my "List of Grievances Against the Universe" YouTube playlist. At last count, that playlist also included everything else on YouTube except Jenna Marbles.
Evan Grant says that the horror movie about who will replace Ron Washington is down to three potential survivors: slutty girl, a charismatic member of House Stark, and Tim Bogar. He also takes a look at each candidate and discusses their strengths and weaknesses. For instance, Bogar is immune to sleep and charm spells but receives a -1 adjustment to all rolls for player spinal damage, while Bannister can dual wield katanas but is vulnerable to both fire and the Pacific Time Zone.
Mike Maddux says there are no hard feelings and he looks forward to returning to Texas. Unfortunately, he said that while smiling cryptically and slowly caressing a bayonet.
Dave Magadan was allowed to speak to the Yankees and Mets, because who needs a hitting coach when you have the ghostly visage of Hank Blalock's rib dispensing sage hitting advice like a pickled Qui-Gon Jinn.
Mike Maddux's commitment to the team has not been damaged by not winning the managerial job, and he will get right back to work in his pitching coach duties by updating Yu Darvish's firmware and removing all of the Ask toolbars Ron Washington inadvertently installed on Yu's pitching elbow.
Calvin Watkins has been asking some burning questions, and yesterday he asked if Prince Fielder will return to form. So by "burning" he means less "Yule log warming a hearth" and more "clap plagued urethra."
And, finally, this study says that having a sibling makes boys selfless. My paper on how Brigham Young University is publishing papers written by space aliens who have never met any actual humans is currently in peer review. My paper does, however, discuss the alternate hypothesis that the study is merely an elaborate ruse in Adam's continued effort to gaslight me into dropping him off at the Ballpark gate.