As part of the SB Nation MLB awards, we are nominating and voting on the funniest Rangers moment in 2014.
It was difficult to come up with a list of funny moments for this season because the 2014 Texas Rangers were sort of only funny in a sarcastic sad way. For example, Derek Holland getting hurt wasn't funny. Derek Holland falling down his stairs playing hockey with his dog kind of is.
Nevertheless, here are a handful of moments that I could remember that made air come out of my nose with greater force than usual. The winning moment will go up against the winning moments of the other team sites later this month when we will determine the funniest moment in MLB this year.
Let's get to the nominees!
Trouble with the Tarp in NYC
This was pretty much the defining game of the 2014 season. The Rangers lost a Yu Darvish start against the Yankees 2-1 after 4 1/2 innings because the Yankees groundscrew were woefully unprepared for a deluge. That doesn't sound all that funny but Fox Sports Southwest shrugging off a commercial break to show everyone from the security guards to the Rangers bat boy try helplessly to get the tarp over the infield was comedy gold.
I've never been more entertained by an unjust Rangers loss before or since.
Suave young scamp
You probably remember this moment from it being everywhere all over the Internet for a few days this summer. Here we see a young boy handing a souvenir to the pretty lady behind him as all her girlfriends, and America, swoon. What makes this moment funny is, if you watch closely, the kid pulled the ol' switcheroo trick to keep the foul ball for himself and give the lady a ball he already had in his hand. The kid's got game.
J.P. and Orbit
Mascots are supposed to be funny. It's kind of their job. Mascots are so rarely ever funny, however. Case in point, Rangers Captain dangling a fake spider on a pole on unsuspected patrons. Not funny. The arachnophobia struggle is real, Captain. The Astros have a pretty funny mascot in Orbit, though.
See? Pretty funny.
Apparently J.P. Arencibia had enough of Orbit's antics between striking out a lot one day and decided to goose the furry Martian with the end of his bat from the on deck circle. Now, I'm not advocating mascot testicle violence, but J.P. was pretty much doing what we were all thinking. Orbit took umbrage, of course and unleashed a barrage of personal attacks:
In the end, you're just not going to win a war against a guy that fluffy.
Let's mark this under "black humor," shall we? Of course, the A's celebrating a postseason appearance on the Rangers' field isn't funny. However, when you take into account the fact that the A's were celebrating an eventual one-game Wild Card loss after coughing up top prospects and double-digit division leads, it makes me laugh every time I think about it. And I think about it a lot because, every time I write something, the A's celebrating is like the first 50 images in the photo editor.
Besides just the concept of celebrating a backhanded achievement, the celebration itself is even funny. There's this moment where everyone is kind of like, "Do we celebrate this? We've kind of stunk for weeks now." And then they're like, "Heck yes we do! Playoffs! We're Number Fifth!" Seriously, though, if SB Nation wants to do a Most Awkward Celebration Award, this surely wins.
Also funny: The A's lost the season series to the 67 win Rangers.
"OMG!" Jim Knox!
What top funniest moments list would be complete without Jim Knox? I can't help but feel a little bad for Knoxy in this clip, however. He's such a force of raw animal magnetism that everywhere he goes people excitedly scream their favorite acronyms and invade his personal space. It's a tough life being Jim Knox but the rewards are great.