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Baseball is just around the corner! Also, probably a Galloway column about Nolan Ryan!

Tim Heitman-USA TODAY Sports

Jonah Keri had a column at Grantland yesterday about the top 15 worst contracts in baseball that includes some former Rangers and a current one. Also, a metric pantsload of Dodgers.

Matt Mosley has a piece over at FSSW with quotes that indicate Nolan Ryan is still a little miffed about his exit from the Ranger organization. While none of the quotes are irritants on the level of "baseball town," I still choose to picture the redefinition of Ryan's role in the organization with Darth Daniels saying, "I have altered the deal. Pray I don't alter it further."

Jurickson Profar will be dealing with shoulder tendinitis when spring training opens. Dear Sweet Merciful Baseball Jesus: I am sorry about the Stiff Person Syndrome joke. Amen.

Gil Lebreton has disembarked from his ship in the port of "30 Seconds After I Heard the Nolan-Astros News," observing that it's stupid to be upset about Nolan's new job. He also says that having Nolan sitting in a position of authority in Arlington only serves to remind us of the cold hands of death that await us all as the Warrior-King is slowly run through by the twin spears of liver spots and paunchiness.

Jeff Wilson's notes post tells us that Jon Daniels has been talking to Nelson Cruz's agent but apparently about slow cooker recipes because Nelson Cruz isn't coming back to Texas. Also, The Spirit of Arbitrations Past appeared last night to Mitch Moreland and whispered "Leeeeeee Steeeeveeennnss..."

T.R. Sullivan's notes column says that the Rangers have not yet announced the Tommy Hanson deal, most likely because the parade floats and fireworks haven't arrived yet.

Jon Daniels was on KRLD because homebound geriatric shut-ins need Ranger news, too.

The DMN responds to those of you who think Ron Washington is a poor in-game manager: "That's just your opinion, man."

If you've ever been to a family law hearing involving possession of minor children, you have probably heard the "Tell me some of your husband's good qualities as a father," question. Here's Nolan Ryan's answer.

The Rangers believe they are getting close to a deal with Mitch Moreland.

It looks like we might get to face our old friend Smilin' Cliff Lee in the season opener.

Richard Durrett continues his spring questions by asking who will be the ultimate winner of the tontine that is the back end of the rotation.

Russell Wilson has an open invitation to Spring Training. When I asked the Mysterious Morris Brother why everyone says he's such a great role model and leader he told me that it's because he's short and that's what people always say about short, successful quarterbacks. Sort of like how "grit" = "unathletic white guy."

Durrett's notes column discusses Holland coming to camp a week late, Nelson Cruz's agent standing outside Jon Daniels' window with a boombox over his head, and everyone's favorite bit pitcher having biceps tendinitis.

Finally, 10 years ago yesterday we were treated to Charlie Murphy's True Hollywood Stories on Dave Chappelle. It's NSFW, duh.