Ron Washington would probably appreciate the story of the Lima dress, as he says that he sent 20,000 pennies to pay an MLB fine. Check my math on this, but the story says that it cost about $45 to ship, but it would appear 20,000 pennies would be about 120 pounds and would occupy a volume approximately 8 inches cubed (ignoring all of the wasted space caused by them being round). Maybe USPS "if it fits it ships" kind of deal? I don't know, that seems like it would cost more than $45 to ship.
Stefan Stevenson has a notes column where we learn that, as the Rangers union rep, Derek Holland brought back the reserve clause for three magic beans.
Behind the paywall of irritation, not exactly impergnable but obnoxious enough that it may as well be, Jeff Wilson observes that the organization is not strictly going by results in judging pitchers' outings.
Drew Davison says that opposing hitters were impressed by Matt Harrison's scoreless inning, with one opining "he doesn't pitch like someone whose back is one soft mattress or hard word from snapping like kindling."
Joe Saunders looks like the guy who played Penny to Tim Taylor's Inspector Gadget on Home Improvement.
Ron Washington has not yet anointed the closer, but you can rest assured that roles will be bestowed and roles will be followed, by golly.
Sullivan's notes column says that Tommy Hanson made a statement with his performance yesterday, that statement being "Joe Saunders does not have a superfluous rib in his backpack."
Richard Durrett tells us about Joey Prebynski, the guy who will be manning the video monitors and communicating with the dugout about whether to challenge close plays.
Finally, in an off-topic twofer, I've got this scale model of the solar system where one pixel represents the width of the moon and a story about how Alan Turing's theory of cell differentiation was validated through experiments.