Hey, are you worried that Prince Fielder might actually suck? Well, Prince Fielder isn't! He's also not going to change his approach because that's crazy talk.
T.R. Sullivan says that Robbie Ross was cooler than curly fries and then completely prematurely speculates that Prince Fielder may be breaking out of his slump. I'm speculating that Fielder's slugging percentage saw its shadow yesterday and we're in for six more weeks of suckage.
Michael Choice, lifelong fan of Douglas Adams, achieved a dream by wearing the number 42.
In case his apoplectic fury and subsequent ejection did not make it clear, Ron Washington is still not happy with how the transfer rule is being called, according to T.R. Sullivan's notes column, and Matt Harrison is almost as disappointed with his latest rehab start as all of you are. Almost.
In a weird convergence of the name Rand, visceral reactions to architecture, and slavish adherence to convention, apparently the Rangers changed the design of the Globe Life Park sign because of complaints from a fan.
Evan Grant takes a look at the Darvish / Hernandez matchup, with emotionless pitching battlemech Yu Darvish making a brief joke, an ability gained with the Darvish 2.1 patch.
Said Matt Harrison of his most recent rehab start, "maybe I wasn't properly motivated." My online business management classes suggest that this should be handled by having Harrison read Who Moved my Cheese.
Grant tells us that Washington is still unhappy about replay and the transfer rule.
Richard Durrett rapids the reaction clean out of that game, noting that Fielder finally hit a home run and that the ghost of Adrian Beltre, upset at his unfinished business, has apparently possessed Kevin Kouzmanoff.
As is often the case, Howard Bryant's piece at ESPN is ostensibly about race but is really about class.
Mark Simon takes a look at batted ball trends for a number of players (including Prince Fielder, who doesn't think he should change his approach).
David Schoenfield gets all technical with the "transfer" rule, which some may find more or less convincing than an imagined profanity-laced Ron Washington tirade (my vote is for the latter).
Richard Durrett says the Rangers have solved their 2013 "no run support for Darvish" problem by not giving any run support to anyone.
I don't know if Adam or GoET have posted this, but in case you missed it Gabe Kapler went all ground-and-pound on Chad Curtis.
Finally, apparently the rise of the X-Men is just around the corner. Allow me to be the first to welcome our new mutant overlords.